Over the summer McSwarley came to me and said "Half, what if we create a fantasy hockey league where the goal is not to be the winner... but rather to be the loser. You would assemble a team of the most awful full-time NHL players and try to get the least amount of points over the course of a season." I looked McSwarley right back in the eye and said "Only if we can name it after Brian Willsie, one of the 10 worst Los Angeles Kings of all time." We then shook hands, took a shot of whiskey and headed back to our respective parents' basements. And with that moment… The Brian Willsie Invitational was created.

This truly is the search for the Biggest Loser.

Click here to see how the competition is heating up in the Brian Willsie Invitational Loser League!

I know that Coach Murray has made a commitment this season to resting his young goaltender, Jon Quick, as much as possible. But I think his plan of resting the entire Los Angeles Kings for the 1st 2 periods of each game is a little ridiculous.

"Hey Kopi, I know you got hit pretty hard by that stick...
but you remember there are THREE periods in each game, right?"

Kings 1 Period, 3 Goals, Thrashers 3 Periods, 1 Goal

I have no problem with the Kings being able to phone it in for 2 periods and then have Old Man Ryan Smyth decide he wants to make it home in time to watch Golden Girl re-runs and quickly become the leading scorer of the team in 20 minutes. The Kings team that came out in the 3rd period was the exact team all Kings fans have been hoping would show up this season. But while you may be able to pull it off against the Atlanta Thrashers... you ain't gonna be able to play like that against most of the teams in the Western Conference. Okay, maybe the Ducks. But at the end of the day, it wasn't about the Kings effort against some fringe team from the Eastern Conference... it was the 2010-2011 home opener... and you know what that means? Party like a rock star in front of Staples!!!

Because nothing screams passionate hockey fan like a Solar Powered Block Party!!!
Hollah!!!!

Click here to check out all the fun from the Los Angeles Kings Home Opener!!!

Myself and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy are on our way to Staples Center for the Los Angeles Kings home opener. But check out a couple of Royal Half news-worthy items before you sit down to watch the game tonight.

This was from last week, but the good folks at Fantasy Hockey Scouts asked for my thoughts on the upcoming season. Boy, I sure nailed that Scott Parse prediction, right? Yeah, I think last year was my fantasy prediction contract year.

The always hysterical Barry Melrose Rocks asked me to talk about why I hate all things Northern Californian. There is some great work here on teams you love to hate for both the Western Conference and the Eastern Conference.

And The Royal Half is going to be on the radio! Well, the internet radio. The guys over at Blue Line Hockey Chicago have asked me to be a guest around 5:40pm (Pacific Time) to chat about the Kings... while I'm at the home opener festivities! I'll post the archive once it's up but you can listen live at SportsTown Chicago.

And finally, just because. Indiana Matt has struck again.

It's simple. Kill the Thrasher.

The NHL season is here again and that can only mean one thing… the NHL.com Pun Headline writers are back with a vengeance!

God, how I've missed you.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

Back to back games to open the 2010-2011 NHL season for the Los Angeles Kings?!? That's way too much hockey for this simple blogger to write about. For a detailed analysis of the Kings exciting 2-1 victory over the Vancouver Canucks, check out Benched Whale. For thoughts on the Kings pathetic 3-1 loss against the Flames, check out The 4th Line Blog. But for ridiculous screengrabs...

I haven't seen this much purple since I went to that orgy at Prince's house.

Click here for the Western Canada Opening Weekend Cavalcade of ScreenGrabs!

Kings 1, Anze Kopitar, A Man

One of my favorite pastimes at start of a brand new NHL season is to take a look at how the Los Angeles Kings have decided to advertise their brand of hockey to the faithful residents of Los Angeles. In the past, we've seen ad campaigns based on being a team that starts a game poorly...but finishes kinda strong (featuring the acting debuts of Anze Kopitar, Matt Greene and a very convincing Dustin Brown). There's been ad campaigns based on clever puns about photo development or the goalie's last name. The Kings have even advertised a behind-the-scenes commercial for an advertisement. But as anyone who works in Hollywood knows... if you want to get your message across... you gotta have a billboard.

For the last 8 years, the Marketing Department of the Los Angeles Kings have been trying to drum up support for a team that hasn't made the playoffs. But after last season's successful run to the first round of the playoffs, the Marketing Department is keeping it simple this year... billboards plastered all over the city with the last name of the star players in big bold letters.

There is Kings Captain Dustin Brown in a warehouse district.

Anze Kopitar smiles, even on a rare overcast day in LA.

Yup... you better believe that's a palm tree.

And there's Wayne Simmonds... on the back of a bus.

Is it just me or do the expressions on the faces of Brown, Kopitar, Doughty and Simmonds make them seem like some sort of modern day ice hockey Rat Pack?

Obviously because of the smile, Kopitar is Sinatra.

These billboards have been all over the city for the last 2 weeks. And the other day, I noticed a few more popping up.

Ok, that makes sense. I mean, Dean Lombardi is the architect behind this exciting, young Kings team.
Even if Dave Taylor did draft Kopitar and Brown.

Oops, I'm pretty sure this one wasn't supposed to be unveiled until mid-December.

Hmm, well I guess Jim Fox's catch phrase is one of the most popular around town.
It could be worse, the Kings could have John Ahlers.

Why do I get the feeling that every time Heidi Androl comes to this site she curses out
her producer for making her do that segment about eating hot dogs at Staples Center?

Let's be honest. If the Los Angeles Kings wanted to advertise the true heart and soul of this franchise... the person who works the hardest each and every day to make this hockey team the best it can be.... then they'd put this guy on a billboard.

Now that's billboard blight at its best!

The 2010-2011 NHL Season starts today. And the Los Angeles Kings start their season on the road in Vancouver on Saturday night. The Royal Half is so excited and we just want everyone to know.

Special thanks to Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and Indiana Matt... who are quickly becoming the Roger Sterling and Don Draper of this website. I, of course, remain Bert Cooper.

I've done a lot of great things during my 20+ year career as a Los Angeles Kings fan. I was able to watch Wayne Gretzky play nightly, I saw Peter Forsberg lose his spleen and I was there when a young team won its first playoff game in 8 years. And while I never thought that a pre-season NHL game could land high on my list of greatest Kings experiences… making it to Frozen Fury 13 in Las Vegas is something that every Los Angeles Kings fan should check out. Don't get me wrong, it's the pre-season for chrissakes. I would take watching the Kings play for real in the playoffs any day of the week. But watching nearly 10,000 passionate Kings fans descend on the city known for the manufacturing and selling of Sin is quite a sight to behold.

Indiana Matt and I grabbed a 5:30 pm flight out of Burbank into Vegas and once we landed, we couldn't wait to meet and greet all of the Los Angeles Kings fans that had flown in for Frozen Fury.

Why did it have to be the Red Wings? Anyone but the Red Wings.

Click here to check out The Royal Half's adventures in Las Vegas!

In a few hours Indiana Matt and I will be on a plane on our way to Las Vegas for Frozen Fury 13. Now, while this certainly won't be my first time to Las Vegas, it will be my first time at Frozen Fury. Now... from all the crazy things that Kings fans say they do at Frozen Fury, it seems that most people only go to this pre-season NHL game to drink, gamble and party. Well I think that severely undermines the point of pre-season hockey... to fully evaluate your favorite NHL team, assessing the strengths and weaknesses and getting the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the franchises' future stars.

So in this spirit, I'll be providing Twitter updates throughout the weekend as I fully evaluate my favorite NHL team, assessing the strengths and weaknesses while getting the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the franchises' future stars... all while drinking, gambling and partying.

After attending the Los Angeles Kings 8-3 pre-season victory over the Anaheim Ducks, I'm thinking that the team ends up skating a lineup like this:

Quisp - Battle of California - Surly & Scribe

Mayors Manor - The Royal Half - Life in Hockeywood

LA Kings Outsider - KingsCast - Deep Inside the Kings

OhCarrlyn's Twitter - McSwarley - Dustin Brown's Twitter

Peter Harrold

I don't know about you guys, but I really like the look of that 2nd line. Also, I'd rather have Quisp as the #1 LW than an over-paid Russian any day of the week.

Have any of you actually read Dustin Brown's Twitter? If not, I'd like to play a little game called: NHL Captain or 11 Year-Old Nephew?

Pinkberry. I love it.

Good day of practice. Home for the day possibly some Halo Reach.

Just picked up NHL 11 not bad 84 rating gotta get used to the controls.

The correct answer is.... 11-Year Old NHL Captain.

Photo courtesy of Indiana Matt's awesome Android Phone app.

It felt great to be back at Staples Center last night even if it just was the pre-season. There was a general excitement in the air and fans across the building have already begun to embrace the newest Kings players.

Worst. Willie Mitchell Jersey. Ever.

Seriously? There's already a Jon Bernier player t-shirt?
The #1 goalie controversy has barely started!

I'll save my review of the new 2010-2011 Staples Center amenities for when a Los Angeles Kings victory actually counts for something… but we may have a front runner for the newest, most horrible piece of Kings merchandise.

I think at the end of the day, Alexei Ponikarovsky will be an upgrade over the Alexander Frolov that was playing for the Los Angeles Kings. (However, I'm convinced the Alexander Frolov that is playing for the New York Rangers will be a 40 goal scorer.) Wayne Simmonds looks like he's going to have a huge coming out party this season. Jack Johnson just might be for real this year. Drew Doughty has lost some baby fat in his face. And Andrei Loktionov looked like he wanted to be in the NHL way more than Brayden Schenn. I hardly noticed Thomas Hickey and I think that's exactly the type of game he is supposed to play.

But the best addition to the Kings lineup this season? The gigantic scoreboard, of course!

The only feeling better than watching your favorite hockey team dominate a meaningless pre-season game against their cross-town rival who yes, was starting their horrible backup goalie, but otherwise most of their regular season lineup?

Coming home to find your Half Season Ticket Holder Package sitting on your front step. Next stop, Las Vegas, as Indiana Matt and The Royal Half are headed to Frozen Fury for the first time.

You can sign up at Yahoo. Hit me up with any questions.