KINGS 3, WILD 0

Well, we thought after PumperNicholl's last RECAP that we'd give him another shot. I mean... he couldn't be any worse than Alec Martinez, right? RIGHT?!? Take it away, PumperNicholl...

*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF, BUT RATHER A GUEST WRITER*

It was a risky move by the general manager to hang onto both goaltenders heading into the lockout shortened 2013 season. There was clearly going to be an ongoing distraction with two top-tier guys on the roster fighting for playing time. But give the Canadian and the American netminders credit. Each said the right things and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue, even though one went to the front office and made a trade request in the offseason.

The team’s GM mulled over some proposals before ultimately deciding to wait for a better offer. And whether it was visions of restocking the farm system or getting one more piece for their championship-caliber squad, the team’s fans just salivated at the thought of all the riches coming back in a trade for a goalie that any team would be lucky to have. It was uncharted territory.

I mean for Christ’s sake, the franchise hasn’t had a Hall of Fame goalie in its 40+ years of existence! Somehow all of the fans who grew up rooting for a fringe contender apparently forgot how goaltending cost them a championship during that highly contested Stanley Cup Final in the early 90s.

Today, both the diehards and new fans gained during the recent Stanley Cup run are completely spoiled. They have an All-World, Olympic Medal-winning, Vezina Finalist that they just can’t wait to run out of town. This after he took a hometown discount and signed a cap-friendly contract to stay with the team.

So I couldn’t help but chuckle during the 23-save shutout performance against that Northwest Division team last night. It was right around the time the team’s big trade deadline acquisition assisted on the goal to make it 3-0 when the Twitter comments started getting a little out of hand. As soon as that former member of the Buffalo Sabres set up the play, fans began mocking their star netminder as he sat on the bench and said how much better off the team would be with the younger option in net for the playoff run.

It’s simply ridiculous to give up that quickly on the best goalie your franchise has ever had!

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be that surprised... I forget how irrational Vancouver Canucks fans can get.

I can’t wait to see what Jonathan Quick says at his 2014 trade deadline press conference.

I’m just glad Los Angeles Kings fans would never do the same.

3. Justin Williams

I would gladly put Williams in the top spot like the Kings broadcasters did if it weren’t for one thing. During his five-game goal streak(!), three of his goals have been scored unassisted. I’m tired of watching his puck-hogging game after game, year after year. Jeeze, pass the puck once in a while, Justin!

2. Keaton Ellerby

I don’t know what dirt he has on Darryl Sutter, but this man just refuses to leave the lineup. Despite the fact he played one less second than fourth liner Dwight King (really) in the game, Ellerby still was able to teach us a very valuable lesson: It was all Alec Martinez’s fault.

1. Jonathan Bernier

You were expecting someone else? No, not you, Robyn Regehr. I still believe Quick is the long term answer for the Kings, but right now this is Bernier’s time to shine. He made 23 saves while getting his first shutout of the season, putting the Kings into 4th place in the Western Conference standings. And oh yeah, something about Bernier now being second in the league in goals against average and tied in fourth in save percentage. Now, back to dreaming about who the Kings will trade him for come July...

FIRST... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for tonight's debut of Robyn Regehr as the Los Angeles Kings take on the Minnesota Wild. Exclusively at LAKings.com.

This will make more sense once you've read the Gameday.

THEN... it's a Brand New All The Kings Men Podcast!!! On this episode, Jesse Cohen and myself talk about the NHL Trading Deadline and our newest favorite game... the Random King. Plus we check in with the funny Book of Loob for his thoughts on the Robyn Regehr Era. You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:

There is no way you can trade her away (trust me, I've tried)... so Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck is back for something we like to call "Know Your Opponent." Tonight, Brigitte stares Zenon Konopka straight in the eyes and asks him to pet her bunny.  No, I know... for regular readers of "Know Your Opponent" you are going to think that this is a sexual euphemism. But no, she actually wants to pet Zenon Konopka's bunny. Oh... just read it yourself...

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for for the Kings vs Minnesota Wild on April 4th, 2013!!!

LA KINGS 1, PHOENIX COYOTES 3

Well as the 3 of you that read The Royal Half on a regular basis might have noticed... we've had a little less content around here this season. With myself doing the GAMEDAY PREVIEWS for LAKings.com, I haven't had as much free time to do unfunny and boring recaps of the Los Angeles Kings games. So to fix that, we are trying something new this week and calling up a writer from the minors.

Oh, he looks like he'll fit in just fine around here.

PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English by watching LA Kings games... and the Police Academy movies. He's been following me on Twitter for a while now... and I find him crass, idiotic and unfunny. So I thought he'd be the perfect fit for The Royal Half! Below is his 1st attempt at a GAME RECAP... and boy... the LA Kings sure provided a doozy for him. So take a read and let us know what you think in the comments. Should we keep PumperNicholl around... or trade him for a 5th Round draft pick by noon today? Take it away, PumperNicholl....

*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF, BUT RATHER A GUEST WRITER*

The stretch drive for the Stanley Cup playoffs is officially in full swing as the trade deadline is finally here. Every GM has been tirelessly working to determine whether they should buy, sell, or be concerned that their owner has given them their third vote of confidence since Monday. During these final roster tweaking moments, GMs don’t want to show their hand too early, but fans and media members can see the glaring holes from a mile away.

So while teams like the Penguins and Bruins engage in an all-out arms race, other contenders are carefully adding minor pieces to the puzzle. And despite a eye cancer inducing poor showing on the eve of the trade deadline, the roster Dean Lombardi has carefully molded over the years seems to be in pretty good shape. With just a few minor alterations the Kings could be poised to make a run at back-to-back Stanley Cup Championships.

KINGS PLAYERS MOST LIKELY TO WAKE UP ON ANOTHER TEAM

DAVIS DREWISKE

With Darryl Sutter reinserting Brad Richardson in the lineup, Dean Lombardi quickly responded to the roster’s “pretty boy” problem. He’s added Robyn Regehr, but one Shrek-like man can only do so much. Sadly, the writing has been on the wall for a while for all around good guy Davis Drewiske. Since signing a three-year extension, Drewiske has only played 109 of the 281 games, so it’s nearly certain he’ll be gone.

PREDICTION: Drewiske gets traded to an Eastern Conference team and gets his name engraved on the Stanley Cup as a 7th defensemen.

However, let’s take a moment to recall the season and career highlights of Drewiske’s tenure with the Los Angeles Kings:

Thanks for the memories, Whiskey.

ALEC MARTINEZ/KEATON ELLERBY

On a night where the Kings made room on their blueline for the incoming Regehr, the bottom pairing of Martinez and Ellerby must have forgotten Matt Greene is expected back in just a few weeks. In the first game of the post-Drewiske era, the duo combined for an uninspiring -5 rating in 26 minutes of ice time. They somehow managed to do this playing one minute less than Drew Doughty. Granted, Lombardi will likely want the insurance Martinez and Ellerby provide, but he still has time to upgrade the position as well.

PREDICTION: Martinez and Ellerby have a Zoolandersque Walk Off in Lombardi’s office to determine which gets traded before the deadline. So long, Keaton. We hardly knew thee.

By the way, with the acquisitions of Regehr and Ellerby, Lombardi successfully killed three birds with two stones:

In Honor of the Players Who Only Affect a Few Games Out of the Year, The Royal Half Presents:
THE NHL CY YOUNG AWARD RACE

Tie-5. Patrik Berglund 34GP 14-6

Tie-5. Michael Grabner 34GP 11-5

4. Pascal Dupuis 37GP 17-9

3. Shawn Matthias 37GP 14-3

2. Jiri Tlusty 35GP 17-9

1. Jeff Carter 36GP 20-4

Also receiving votes:
Dustin Brown 36GP 14-9, Adam Henrique 31GP 10-4, Justin Abdelkader 36GP 7-2

TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT

3. Keith Yandle

After finishing the Western Conference Final with a disappointing two points and a -1 rating, Yandle put the team on his back with two goals in the 3-1 win. His all-around leadership and offensive outburst helped the Coyotes leapfrog the firesale special Dallas Stars into sole possession of 12th place of the Western Conference, just one point back of the idle Edmonton Oilers and Columbus Blue Jackets.

2. NHL GMs

In the ultimate “eff you” to TSN, CBC and Sportsnet, the NHL GMs decided to get all of their major trades out of the way before Canada’s equivalent of the opening day of March Madness. On the bright side, there’s a very good chance Aaron Ward will attempt to report another premature trade before Bob McKenzie body slams him on national TV.

1. Jason LaBarbera

LaBarbera turned aside 39 shots in a game that saw his SV% rise to .924 and GAA drop to 2.48. The stellar performance has led to a growing consensus amongst Kings fans that those numbers would look excellent backing up Jonathan Bernier during the playoff run.

FIRST.... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for tonight where we talk with Buffalo Sabres blogger, 2 In The Box, plus Calgary Flames bloggers, Kent Wilson and Book of Loob, about the Robyn Regehr Era in Los Angeles. Exclusively on LAKings.com.

This will make more sense once you've read the Gameday.

And as we say hello to Robyn... we say fond farewell to Davis.

That sound you hear is thousands of female LA Kings fans softly crying into their pillows.

"Why Dean... WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

FIRST... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for tonight's game in St. Louis where we look back at the best moments from the Los Angeles Kings visit to the White House. Exclusively on LAKings.com.

This is the most ridiculous thing ever.

THEN... it's back! The Royal Half Playoff Tracker has returned and this season it's been rebranded as The Royal Half LA Kings Playoff War Room. So if you've always wished for an easy way to know whether or not the LA Kings are in the playoffs... then all you need to do is click here.

We are at level: WEBSTER

AND FINALLY.... Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck takes an in-depth look at the Los Angeles Kings opponent for tonight's game... in something we like to call "Know Your Opponent." Tonight is an extra special game for Brigitte as she really hates the St. Louis Blues. Like really,really hates the Blues.

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for for the Kings vs St. Louis Blues on March 28th, 2013!!!

First... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for last Thursday's 2-0 loss to the Dallas Stars in which we search for the perfect Tyler Toffoli nickname.

THEN... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for Saturday's 1-0 loss to the Vancouver Canucks in which we took a trip in the TRH KINGS VIDEO MACHINE!!!

... and we came across this blast from the past.

DRESS LIKE A KING, LOOK LIKE A MILLION!!!

THIRDLY... check out today's Gameday for tonight's game in Chicago, exclusively at LAKings.com.

This will make more sense when you've read today's Gameday.

AND FINALLY.... It's a Brand New All The Kings Men Podcast!!! On this episode, Jesse Cohen and myself bore ourselves to death talking about the Jarome Iginla rumors. You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:

Following up on the biggest Los Angeles Kings-related story of the day... we here at The Royal Half have obtained video footage of the main reason for Tim Leiweke's sudden departure from AEG.

He was a bully who liked to throw ice at people at Kings games.

Further updates as events warrant. 

First... read our GAMEDAY PREVIEW for tonight's Pacific Division battle with the Phoenix Coyotes in which we discuss the possible uniform changes coming for the Coyotes next season. You can read it exclusively at LA Kings.com.

This will make more sense when you read the recent Gameday Preview.

The Royal Half mentioned on the Fox Sports West Kings Live pre-game show.

It's been a few weeks since Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck has taken an in-depth look at the Los Angeles Kings opponent for that night's game... in something we like to call "Know Your Opponent." Tonight is an extra special game for Brigitte and she felt compelled to share it with us. 

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for for the Kings vs Vancouver Canucks on March 3rd, 2013!!!