Fake Chris Kontos here. While I'm on my 1 week East Coast road trip, I unfortunately don't have the time to update you on all the Los Angeles Kings happenings. Even more unfortunately... Indiana Matt does. So, while I would have preferred that Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy would have been blogging in my absence... I'll give you the 3rd best option... presenting, "Indiana Matt's First Royal Half Recap"... or as I like to call it... "The Royal Half's Sloppy Seconds!" Take it away, Indiana Matt!

It’s Good To Be King

Thursday nights game had everything you would expect from two incredibly well matched teams, big hits, nearly paralyzed captains, frustration for fans of both teams, great goaltending, one team ending up really pissed off at the end and the other sitting atop the NHL.

I make no assumptions that my 10 months as a Los Angeles Kings fan makes me a “life long hockey fan”. That being said, I feel that Thursday night’s game was just another step in my quest to becoming a “rest of my life hockey fan”.

Kings 1, Lightning 0, Frustrated and Embarrassed Steve Downie’s 1

Check out more of Indiana Matt's first ever blog post after the jump!

When the NHL 2010-2011 Schedule was released over the summer, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I did what we always do when a new schedule comes out... we print it out in large, oversize pieces and plaster a wall in his house with the schedule and circle what we think are the most important games.

This was from last season.
Mrs. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy was not happy with what we did to her living room.

So this summer, there was only one game to circle as the most important. It was obviously the 12th game of the Los Angeles Kings season, an early November matchup with Tampa Bay that would no doubt be a battle between the top 2 teams in the NHL, right? Right?! RIGHT???!!?!??!

Holy fucking shit.

So of course, I'll be heading out of town today for about a week and I'll miss this SUPER important early November game against Tampa Bay. I'll also miss Saturday's game against the Nashville Predators... but let's be honest, I probably would have ditched that game anyways... since A) It's Nashville and B) They always beat the Kings. Always.

Okay, fine. We beat them once.

Luckily, FOB (Friend of the Blog) and Brian Willsie Invitational Superstar, Daneyko's Darlings, will be stepping in for the Tampa Bay game in my place. Oh, and that front-runner Indiana Matt will be going as well. I'll be stuck on the east coast trying to find some internet stream somewhere so that I can join along in the fun too. For really great coverage of the hockey machine that are the Tampa Bay Lighting, be sure to check out Don't Trade Vinny.

Monday should bring an all new Pundays, catching up on 2 weeks of AMAZING NHL.com pun headlines. But for the time being... I leave you with this.

NHL.com... you had me at hello.

Normally, this early in a Los Angeles Kings season when they are playing an important division rival, I would watch the game from home, obsessively watching and screen-grabbing every frame of the game. But since the Kings Marketing Department was having an official Kings Watch Party somewhere not in Long Beach, Indiana Matt and I decided to leave work a bit early and check out the scene at Barney's Beanery in Burbank. And by pure coincidence, it just happened to be the Los Angeles Kings Ice Girls 2010-2011 Calendar Release Party!

Wait a second... what kind of a calendar is this?!

Kings 5, Stars 2, Ice Girls, A Plenty

Click Here to read the rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

I wouldn't say that Los Angeles Kings fans are starting to have doubts about their incredible fanaticism of the second coming of goaltending that is supposed to be Jon Bernier... but on my way home tonight I noticed this change in Kings Marketing.

Kings 1, Defending Stanley Cup Champions 3

"Guys, I know Brad Richardson is a good looking man. But we are in public!!"

It's taken me a little while, but I finally figured out where Jon Bernier got his goaltending style from.

Your move, Quick.

It's just one game. The Kings normally reliable defensemen played like crap. And if the hockey gods weren't smiling on Marty Turco (Turco! Why did it have to be Turco?!?) the Kings could have won by 2 goals. Let's get 'em Thursday in Dallas. The Pacific Division battle is where it's at anyway.

The Royal Half came to the Bloguin Family of Sports-Related Blogs in December of last year. Today, The Royal Half was nominated by our peers in two categories for the 2010 Bloguin Awards: Funniest Blog and Best Hockey Blog. I'm going to lose to the Pensblog in both categories, but it would be nice if you took a few seconds and voted for me or any of the other fine blogs at Bloguin here. This time I promise... no attack ads.

When your franchise has been in the league since 1926 you have the ability to release a 6 DVD set of the some of the greatest moments in the teams history.

Ha! Whatever Chicago Blackhawks...
I don't see a Stanley Cup DVD in there cause you haven't won it in 49 years!

Oh right. Whoops.

Even though they play in Hollywood, the home of DVD creation and duplication, the Los Angeles Kings haven't been able to put out a DVD box set of their greatest moments. I guess if they did, it would have been on something like this.

Aw man! That tape had my 93 Kings-Toronto Game 7 highlights on it.
And then after that the Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman pilot.

But since the Los Angeles Kings head into tonight's game against the Chicago Blackhawks as the 2nd best team in the NHL, there definitely has been some interest in producing a DVD box set that features this young, hot hockey team.

Yep, that looks about right. I wouldn't have put Anze Kopitar on the cover either.

Kings-Blackhawks in a few hours. For the Blackhawks side of things check out Blackhawks Down Low. Be sure to check out Indiana Matt's brand new feature, "Getting to Know Your Opponent."

So for the first time since I can remember the Los Angeles Kings are part of a national television hockey broadcast. The Kings are being featured as the Monday night exclusive game on Versus, the best cable channel named after a Pearl Jam album. And I'm especially excited about the team that the Kings are playing... the.... Minnesota Wild? Well, even if the opponent isn't the sexiest team around, at least the hundreds of Versus viewers will get a good chance to see that high-scoring Los Angeles Kings defense that so many people have been talking about.

Whoops.

Well, even if Drew Doughty isn't playing at least tonight's game is a chance to see the cutting edge broadcast of Versus, the NHL's exclusive home on cable television.

Because nothing screams hockey like Amway.

Kings 3, Wild 2, The Midwest, Still Lame

Click Here to read the rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

Every now and then, the pun headline writers at NHL.com will come up with something so original, so amazing, so genius… that all you can really do is read the headline, lean back in your chair and mutter to yourself… "well, I'll be."

Why do I feel like this song was in heavy rotation at NHL.com HQ this particular night.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

Wow, that was one ugly hockey game. I'm sure the Los Angeles Kings coaching staff can't be too pleased with the 6-4 victory over the Colorado Avalanche, but any fan of hockey had to enjoy this barnburner. But with all the hat tricks, butt-ends to the balls and other crazy things to happen in last night's game, the most interesting stat to come of out the game was this one:

"Kings forward Alexei Ponikarovsky now has 1 goal all-time on nights that Ilya Kovalchuk is a healthy scratch."

"Oh, thank god I finally scored. Now Kings fans everywhere
will realize I am a suitable alternative to signing Ilya Kovalchuk."

And with Brad Richardson scoring his first NHL hat trick, he'd have to make the front page of NHL.com with a clever pun like "Rich With Goals" right? Right? RIGHT?!?

Well, at least it was for a good cause.
And they could have at least put Richardson in the photo.
That good looking man gets no respect.

The Wild, Blackhawks and Stars 3 of the next 4 nights on the road. Well, this should be fun.

Man, what a bunch of losers! No, I'm not talking about the pathetic effort the Los Angeles Kings put forth last night in Phoenix, losing 4-1 in front of what seemed to look like 800 people. If you want a recap (why in the hell would anyone want to relive last nights game?!?), go here or here. No, the people I'm talking about are the beautiful losers of the Brian Willsie Invitational Loser League.

My work coffee mug.

Click here to check out who is the Biggest Loser this week!!!