NOW 1 SEASON WITHOUT A STANLEY CUP
TRH 3RD ROUND PLAYOFF RECAP 5 - CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS: KANE UNABLE
HOME ICE SLAVANTAGE
The Rise of the Burger King

HOME ICE SLAVANTAGE

Written by The Royal Half on .

I mean, seriously...
how could you not give this man 4.17 million dollars a year for 6 years?

 

Ok, so not everyone is happy with this deal.

 

Slava Voynov has long been a fan favorite here at The Royal Half. And that means we've done lots of photoshops with him.

And we've watched him celebrate his day with the Stanley Cup.

 

And now, we get to see him patrolling the Los Angeles Kings blueline for the next 7 years.

No big deal.

I know that at times it can be a very meaningless stat... but out of Slava Voynov's 12 goals in 2013... 6 were game-winners.

Now he can afford chicken!


So Slava Voynov and Drew Doughty will be anchoring the Los Angeles Kings blueline until 2019...
 

...and then they'll be free agents in the same year?!?

Actually, I'm not worried at all about this at all because there will
be a lockout before 2018 and the LA Kings will be able to amnesty buy them both out.

 

Finally, a Russian King that actually achieved something!


Go buy your Slava Voynov TRH T-shirts now... before the Russian Mafia breaks my legs for selling them!

 

And now.... SLAVA MOBILE DEVICE CASES!!!

 

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ALL THE KINGS MEN PODCAST: NOT THE FACE!

Written by The Royal Half on .

Even though it's the off-season, we are still giving you, LA Kings fans, brand-new episodes of All The Kings Men Podcast!!! Jesse Cohen and I chat with Keith Korneluk of KingsCast about who we think the current face of the LA Kings franchise is.

This is as good a face as any.

You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:

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FATHERS DAYOLO

Written by The Royal Half on .

Sure, the TRH Mom might be the real writer in my family...

 

 

But the TRH Dad is the only one who has inspired a parody Twitter account...

 

 

Happy Father's Day to all the Hockey Dads out there. I'm glad that we take a day to recognize the guys that been the hockey inspiration in our lives... mainly so that I get to post this amazing photo each year:

Happy Father's Day!

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TRH THROWBACK THURSDAY: I'M LOCKED OUT & I KNOW IT

Written by The Royal Half on .

In an effort to have some actual content on this blog during the Los Angeles Kings off-season (*offer does not apply to actual new content*)... I've decided to start a TRH Throwback Thursday™ where we look back at some of the best TRH posts from this past season and beyond. And while last night we all were enjoying the amazing 3 OT Stanley Cup Final game... let's not forget that just 8 months ago in September of 2012... none of us were really convinced there was even going to be a 2012-2013 NHL Season. Thus... "I'm Locked Out and I Know It" was born...

You can read the original post here. And while we are throwing it back... here is the original TRH #1 Hit... Rick Nash's "These Teams Are On My List" from February 2012!


Man, it's gonna be a long off-season.

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ALL THE KINGS MEN PODCAST: THIS IS THE END

Written by The Royal Half on .

No, this isn't the end of All The Kings Men Podcast... but rather it's it's a brand-new edition of All The Kings Men Podcast!!! Jesse Cohen and I chat with Master Recapper, PumperNicholl, in which we raise a glass to the 2013 Los Angeles Kings season. Later, Jesse and I are joined by Jon Hoven from Mayors Manor... and well... you have to listen to it to believe it.

An artist's rendering of John Hoven during the new All The Kings Men Podcast.
 

You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:


And, in what has become a tradition for The War Room on Sirius XM NHL Network... I appeared on Monday to talk with Mick Kern about the end of the Los Angeles Kings season. You can listen below:

And finally... TRH Ombudsman Jack A. Wilson made an AMAZING discovery yesterday in regards to Darryl Sutter's laundry habits.

 

 

If anyone has any video or photos of Sutter during any of his Calgary Flames exit days please send it to me ASAP. I have to know if he's wearing this sweater or not.

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Written by The Royal Half on .

 










 

June 11th, 2012. The greatest day ever.

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TRH 3RD ROUND PLAYOFF RECAP 5 - CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS: KANE UNABLE

Written by PumperNicholl on .

*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*

KINGS 3, BLACKHAWKS 4 (2 OT)

 

We've all been there, kid.


We pick up action late in the third period as the Los Angeles Kings season seems all but over.

With under 20 seconds left, most fans had begun negotiations with the devil for one last shot to tie the game. Since every longtime Kings fan knows that this will assuredly will end with pure agony, we also prepare for the reality that any glimmer of hope is presented only to make the pain even worse.

Yet, somehow, we momentarily let our collective guard down. A goal now meant a chance, consequences be damned.

Would it be worth it? We didn't care.

We just wanted to hold on to the belief that this team, that we've all somehow found a way to love more every day, could come back. It wasn't that we rationally thought they would come back from 3-1 down in the series, it was that we believed they wouldn't quit.

So live through the bevy of emotions again as we look back at the last game of the Kings of the season.

What's that? You want to set yourself up with more visual cues to make the pain worse?

OK, we can do that first.

 


*UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING*
...let's just get this over with..
 

Click Here to Read the Rest of PumperNicholl's RECAP of the Last Game of the 2013 Los Angeles Kings Season!!!

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NOW 1 SEASON WITHOUT A STANLEY CUP

Written by The Royal Half on .

I wish there was some way to visually represent how I feel right now...

...but this wouldn't be it. 

Because I'm happy. Happy that after 43 seasons of mediocrity, the LA Kings have 25 Playoff victories in 2 seasons. Happy because the LA Kings knocked the San Jose Sharks out of the playoffs this season. I'm happy to have a great Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy for 10 seasons now. I'm happy to have amazing and talented guys like Ironsight Design and Indiana Matt providing great photoshops and content for this blog. I'm happy to be part of the wonderful All The Kings Men Podcast with Jesse Cohen. I'm happy to have talented writers like PumperNicholl and One Girl, One Puck creating ridiculous and funny articles for our readers. I'm happy to have Spike Coffman dusting off old VHS tapes and providing us with the best of 1990s NHL footage. I'm happy to have Jersey Brian cracking jokes for #TeamTRH and I'm glad that Jack A. Wilson has finally found his calling as the TRH Ombudsman that keeps me in check. 

And I'm happy to call John Hoven, Dennis Bernstein, Jon Rosen and Jonathan Davis friends. And I'm happy that Dewayne Hankins, Pat Donahue and Aaron Brenner thought this blog was funny enough to be featured on LAKings.com each and every game.

But most importantly... I'm happy to have all of you great readers, whether you check TRH daily or follow me on Twitter... I'm just happy to have you guys around. Thanks for an amazing 2013 NHL Season... and any time people want to question the LA Kings fanbase... or call you a one-hit wonder... just remember what keeps all of us LA Kings fans going each and every day...

Nope.

No.

Nailed it.


Now go buy some TRH T-Shirts and get ready for October.

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TRH 3RD ROUND PLAYOFF GAMEDAY 5 - CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS: ACHY AND BREAKY HEARTS

Written by The Royal Half on .


FIRST.... read today's GAMEDAY PREVIEW for tonight's Game 5 between the Los Angeles Kings and the Chicago Blackhawks. Exclusively on LAKings.com.

This will make much more sense once you've read the GAMEDAY PREVIEW.

ALSO...  tonight's GAMEDAY PREVIEW features another appearance by via The Royal Half's 1990s LA Kings Historian, Spike Coffman... who, when revisiting the LA Kings Game 5 loss to the Montreal Canadiens in the Stanley Cup Final 20 years ago... might have found the greatest thing ever:

Achy and Breaky is exactly what my heart is gonna be tonight.

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TRH 3RD ROUND PLAYOFF RECAP 4 - CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS: Tosca-OHNO

Written by PumperNicholl on .

*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*

KINGS 2, BLACKHAWKS 3

 

Wow. What a high Los Angeles Kings fans have been on since the end of Game 3. Their team bounced back on home ice to cut the Chicago Blackhawks series lead to 2-1.

What seemed like an impossible comeback suddenly was within the team's grasp. If the Kings could hold serve on home ice, it would be a brand new series heading back to Chicago. And winning at the Staples Center had become something expected. The Kings home ice win streak reached 15 games following their Game 3 win.

Seemingly nothing could stand in their way in evening the series. All of the good juju accompanied with Staples Center was there. As long as every little minute detail stayed in place in the moments leading up to the puck drop, the defending Stanley Cup Champions were undoubtedly winning this game.
 

PREGAME:

No way!
*whimper*
 
Yeah, right!
You'll need something big to happen for that to happen, bud.
 
OH GOOD GOD.
 




REALLY??
 








Ugh. Let's just...
Wait, what? One more? This probably won't end well.
 
At least Illinois is as classy as California.
Now, let's just get this over with.
 
 
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