Forget about the Los Angeles Kings lackluster effort tonight against the NHL's worst team at home, the St. Louis Blues. Instead, check out the amazing mustache on the penalty box door opener!

It's like Sam Elliott's working for the NHL!

Kings 1, Blues 3

At least Calgary lost, right? The Kings hopes for securing a playoff spot get brighter... and dimmer at the same time. Sure they are 7 points into the playoffs... but you'd kinda hope the team would be winning these games and building some steam heading into the post-season, no? Instead, they get beat up by the St. Louis Blues... the only team that's been re-building longer than the Kings. But the Blues do have a nice mixture of young talent and grizzly veterans.

"You see, TJ, one time Tony Amonte and I were going to a Soul Asylum concert.
Now, this was before cell phones... so we had to meet Mike Modano..."

"Ugh... are you going to retire yet or what?"

So what was the big news that was announced today regarding the Los Angeles Kings and the Stanley Cup Playoffs? Find out.... after the jump!

A few days ago, I received this email in The Royal Half inbox from a gentleman who said he was working with the Los Angeles Kings.

It was from a company called Epic States, who describe themselves as a "strategic consulting and marketing firm with a focus on leveraging social media to engage our clients’ customers." So, being the inquisitive nerd hockey blogger that I am, I replied to this email with something along the lines of "Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter." I mean... he promised prizes in his email, right? Prizes are awesome! So here was his response:

Huh. So let me see if I have this straight. If I can get as many people as I know to purchase tickets (albeit at a low, low price) I will be crowned Los Angeles Kings SuperFan and the prizes are tickets to the last regular season game and 4 tickets to the first playoff game. Tickets that as a Half Season Ticket Holder Package owner... I already have paid for. So basically, being a SuperFan means that I am a non-paid member of the Los Angeles Kings Ticket Sales Department?

Look, Epic States, I'm not going to tell you how to do your job. I realize you are one of the several "Social Media Marketing Firms" that now exist in this day and age... but being a Kings SuperFan... doesn't come from getting the most tickets sold over the final two weeks of the season. You want to know what a SuperFan is?

A Kings SuperFan is renewing my Half Season Ticket Package the last 7 years... 6 years of which this team hasn't made the playoffs. 
A Kings SuperFan is putting down the playoff ticket deposit near the end of each season, just hoping the team gets hot enough to make it.
A Kings SuperFan is going to all the games I paid for during the season this team finished 2nd to last in the NHL.
A Kings SuperFan is watching your favorite team go on a horrible losing streak at the end of the season in 2 consecutive years and fall out of the playoffs.
A Kings SuperFan is watching your favorite team put together 3 consectutive playoff appearances, and then have one of the best lines in hockey be destroyed by injuries.
A Kings SuperFan is watching two of your best Captains be traded.
A Kings SuperFan is cheering as your team makes the Stanley Cup Finals... and then doesn't make the playoffs for another 4 seasons.
A Kings SuperFan is winning the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals on the road and then losing 4 straight. 
A Kings SuperFan is 23 playoff appearances in 43 years of being a franchise.
A Kings SuperFan knows that this team traded what would be Ray Bourque for Ron Grahame.
A Kings SuperFan knows a lot of people that are on this list.

So there you have it, Epic States... (and don't think I'm not holding you responsible Los Angeles Kings Marketing Department... as you hired these guys!)... those are some of the requirements to being a Los Angeles Kings SuperFan. Not shilling tickets to my friends and family. Oh... and there is one more qualification to being a Kings SuperFan...

A Kings SuperFan watches their team be down 3-1 in the first period against the Colorado Avalanche and knows that they are going to come back and tie the game.

Kings 3, Av's 4 (SO)

Thank you Los Angeles Kings for never giving up and battling back to get a super important point in the Western Conference Playoff Race. You made this Kings SuperFan... and countless others very happy.

During Monday nights 4-3 overtime victory against the Colorado Avalanche... the Los Angeles Kings did something I haven't seen them do all season... mess with a goaltender's head.

Maybe Justin Williams and Anze Kopitar were truly trying to get Craig Anderson off his game late in the 3rd period of an important Western Conference playoff battle. But I think they were just rubbing it in that Anderson didn't make the US Olympic team... and Jon Quick did.

In a few hours, the Los Angeles Kings battle the Colorado Avalanche in the 2nd game of a home and home series. In the now immortal words that are sweeping the nation...

"Hey guys... this game tonight.. it's a big fucking deal. 
So that's why I'm sitting you out, Clune."

Hey, Alexander Frolov. You want to know how to respond to being put on the 4th line and seeing little to no ice time? Just ask Ryan Smyth how you do it.

If you look in the Hockey Dictionary under "Ryan Smyth Being Ryan Smyth"...
this is the photo listed.

Ryan Smyth was so committed to scoring tonight for the Los Angeles Kings that he never let go of his stick... NEVER!

Patrick, why don't you tell me what the WHL stands for first and then we can talk.

Kings 4, Avalanche 3, Ryan Smyth 2

A solid win from the Kings. Of course, you wish that the Avalanche didn't get the bonus point, but the Kings keep pace with the West in their new found quest to face the San Jose Sharks in the first round of the playoffs. Thanks Phoenix! But let's be serious here... you didn't come to The Royal Half to get thoughtful analysis of the victory tonight... you came for screengrabs of Anze Kopitar Kings Spotlight Night! So here ends the analysis... but starts the pretty pictures... after the jump!

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Squeaking out a 1-0 victory over a team that is 3rd to last in the Eastern Conference and is playing in the final game of a 3 game West Coast road trip is nothing to get too excited about. But as Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy calmly said to me tonight... "2 points are 2 points." I hate it when he is right.

Kings 1, Island of Misfit Kings 0

The craziest thing about the Los Angeles Kings victory Saturday night over the New York Islanders? The fact that the Kings are 10-0-1 when Brad Richardson scores a goal. No wonder Coach Murray moved him back to the top line! Scoring one goal against a team made up mainly of Los Angeles Kings prospect cast-offs (Matt Moulson, Jeff Tambellini, Jon Sim, Tim Jackman) does not give me the best faith in the new lines created during the latest edition of Coach Murray's Line Combinations of Fun™. Ryan Smyth, Jarret Stoll and Scott Parse as the 4th line? But as great minds say... 2 points are 2 points.

Nothing like Spring hockey in Los Angeles. 70 degrees at game time.

A simply gorgeous day in LA. The kind of day that even though 30 Rock makes a great joke about my hometown... it simply doesn't matter.

So what is the only thing that can ruin a great day like Saturday? Laker Fans.

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy shows his distaste for all things Laker related.

That's right, there were a ton of Laker fans milling about the exterior of Staples Center attending something called Lakers Fan Jam. Nothing like throwing a huge convention to show off your team... in the middle of its season. What's the only thing that would take away the stench of having so many Laker fans this close to a Kings home game? Hardcore New York Islander fans, of course!

The only NHL player who was named after the way he played.

New York and LA can get along.

NHL great Denis Potvin was at the game tonight, chatting with another NHL legend.

Man, Scott Stevens has really let himself go since retiring.

But the biggest event of the day was the celebration of Latino Heritage Night. And how does one mix the sport of hockey with the heritage of Latinos? Let's take a look at the menu!

1 LA Galaxy ticket. Check.
2 passes to the Conga Room. Check
All that is missing is 3 tacos at Rosa Mexicano and you've got a Latino trifecta.

As opposed to the other Kings Heritage Nights, the Russian and Armenian flavors... the Latino one was kind of disappointing. Honestly, all I saw was a couple of bored conga players walking around the building.

"I'm so glad Mom paid for 4 years at Berklee for us so we could do this."

As always check out the awesome Lighthouse Hockey for all the Islanders news and views. Hopefully, the Kings can build upon this game since probably the 2 most important games of the remainder of the season are coming up on Monday and Wednesday... a home and away series with the "1 point behind the Kings" Colorado Avalanche. The Kings are 9 points away from first in the Pacific... and 5 points away from being out of the playoffs. Oh yeah, it's the stretch run all right.

I'm not a parent... but from my experiences as a son... I can only imagine it's a hard job. Especially when you are dealing with a newborn. Ever since Madison Mychal Quick was born, Los Angeles Kings Goalie and Franchise Saviour, Jonathan Quick, has not won a game. Since the Kings play in the shadow of Hollywood... I'm surprised it took so long for the new NBC show Parenthood to cash in on the struggles of this new father.

Sure, the Los Angeles Kings have been known to have their problems in December. But as any real Kings fan knows... March is where guaranteed playoff spots are lost. I'm sure Quisp over at the SBNation Kings Blog would be able to crunch the numbers better than me, but here is the Kings record in March during the last 3 seasons that this team actually had a chance of making the playoffs... (or as I like to call it... the Andy Murray Late-Season Reign of Terror):

2002-2003 W 4 L 9 T 2 - No Playoffs

2003-2004 W 3 L 11 T 1 - No Playoffs

2005-2006 W 6 L 8 - No Playoffs

That's a combined 13-28-3 when it comes to playoff races in March for the Los Angeles Kings. Gulp!

Hmm, what box does late-season collapse fall into?

Kings 0, Blackhawks 3

So the Kings lose another important Western Conference game... but no worries... it's Raitis Ivanans Kings Spotlight Night! Join in on the celebration... after the jump!!!

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It was the 1995-1996 season when it all started. The NHL, coming off a shortened 48 game season due to the 1st NHL lockout, was looking for a way to connect with new fans and show that it was on the cutting edge of sports technology. So the NHL created the first ever "3rd Jersey"... a new jersey that would be worn a limited amount of times during the season by a limited number of teams. Since very little information from 1995 is available on the internet, I got the real story about the 3rd Jersey program from where I get most of my NHL news... the Pavel Bure Fan Club website.

The NHL would design the jerseys, keeping the choices for look away from the individual teams' marketing departments. They would be worn for special games and the NHL imagined the program to be wildly successful. Here are the jerseys from NHLUniforms.com.

And in a flash... this Los Angeles Kings cult classic was born:

The Royal Half has always had a passion for this particular 3rd Jersey. If you have the slightest interest in this unusual Kings logo... find out why today was an amazing day at Staples... after the jump!

Well... at least I know how Denis Grebeshkov feels now.

That's right, Kings. You just kicked me in the nuts.

Kings 0-7, Predators 7-0

The Los Angeles Kings dropped their 7th straight game to the Nashville Predators. Boy, I hope the Kings don't face the Predators in the playoffs. Boy, I hope the Kings make the playoffs.

And hey, Rich Hammond... a little late to the Trade Deadline Acquisition party, huh? I'd accuse you of plagiarism... but I'm pretty positive there is no way in hell you read this blog.

(Special Thanks to TRH reader, Michael, for the tip about Greb's nuts.)

That's right, Los Angeles Kings fans... this guy is now a 24 year old Baby Daddy.

Congratulations to Jon Quick and his brand new daughter, Madison Mychal Quick. Now get back in the net!

As you might have heard, the other Jonathan was in net for the Kings during their 2-1 shootout win over the Dallas Stars on Friday night. Jon Bernier made a triumphant return to the NHL with 29 saves. Hockey experts have been salivating about Bernier for a couple years now and he even has a painting that was commissioned in his honor.

Now don't start getting the idea of a goalie controversy in your head... Jon Quick will continue to be the man in net for the Kings during the stretch run... even if he's not getting as much sleep as he used to. But if I live in a world that has Jon Quick between the pipes each night for the Kings during their playoff run and Jon Bernier as his backup... that's a world I don't mind living in. Even if it's just to see Bernier's awesome helmet tribute to Kelly Hrudey on a nightly basis.

An afternoon game AND the Nashville Predators? A deadly combination. The Kings are 0-2 against the Predators this season and have lost 6 straight to them overall. The Royal Half will be there at Staples... nothing like a noon game on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon in Los Angeles.