Pundays: Hal-ak 9000

Written by The Royal Half on .

Montreal Canadiens goaltender Jaroslav Halak had a fantastic week that included back to back shutouts. And as the Canadiens wrap up their regular season it seems that their playoff hopes will be put on Halak's shoulders and not those of early season #1 goalie, Carey Price. But Halak's best achievement of the week... was making it into the NHL.com pun machine.

hal-markwin.pun

Top 3 Rejected Headlines:

1) Working Too Hard Can Give You a Hal-Ak-Ak-Ak-Ak-Ak
2) Big Halak Attack
3) The Price is Right for Halak

It seems that amazing puns are not just for the NHL.com home page. Oh no... tonight, on the Montreal Canadiens own website this beauty popped up.

halak-nophobia.pun

So either the person who writes the puns for NHL.com is freelancing for ALL the teams or there is a serious pundemic running through the headlines of hockey right now.

Playoff Bound

Written by The Royal Half on .

It was Saturday, April 27th, 2002. I bought the tickets off ebay and headed downtown with my college roommate (and hockey teammate!) who was in Los Angeles for the weekend visiting from Vermont. The Los Angeles Kings beat the visiting Colorado Avalanche 3-1 on goals by Jason Allison, Brad Chartrand and Bryan Smolinski. The Staples Center went wild and the Kings were headed back to Denver for a Game 7 of their 1st round series. It would be the last time I'd see playoff hockey in Los Angeles.

_stanley_cup_playoffs_logo_-_2010_stanley_cup_playoffs_logo

Until now.

With the Calgary Flames losing to the Chicago Blackhawks today... the Los Angeles Kings are in the playoffs for the first time since April 29th, 2002. It's been 7 years, 11 months, and 7 days since the Los Angeles Kings were playoff bound. If you've followed this blog at all over the past 2 seasons... you'd know that I enjoy making fun of my favorite team... but today... after buying Half Season Seats for each playoff-less season since 2001-2002... I'm the proudest Los Angeles Kings fan around. Over the past decade I've sat through some of the worst players and some of the most heartbreaking collapses. And as a fan of this team for over 20 years, I've grown used to disappointment. But for one glorious Spring day in Los Angeles I can safely say... this team is going to the playoffs.

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy said he'll feel most confident when there was a little "X" next to the Kings place in the standings. I said that I wouldn't feel confident until I was sitting in our seats for the first home playoff game. As sports fans... we tend to be over-dramatic but I can't even describe how amazing the feeling was last night when Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I were having a discussion on maybe getting something to eat before the first home playoff game. It almost felt like we were speaking a different language.

Don't remember what the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs feel like? Try these on for size:

And the intro to the greatest game I've ever watched on television. Wayne Gretzky's hat trick against the Toronto Maple Leafs in Game 7 during the Kings run to the Stanley Cup Finals in 1993.

The Los Angeles Kings are playoff bound. The Los Angeles Kings are playoff bound. I like the sound of that.

Miss Pelt

Written by The Royal Half on .

As Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy does a good job of reminding me... a point is a point. The Los Angeles Kings had no business only leading this game by 1 goal with 1:30 left in the 3rd period. So walking away with just one point is fine by me. The Ducks were all over the Kings most of the night and Jon Quick did a great job proving that he still deserves to be the Kings #1 goaltender. Besides, sometimes in life, there are just bigger things to be upset about than a 2-1 shootout loss to a cross freeway rival...

img_2331

Like spending 200+ dollars on a jersey of your favorite player...
only to have his name spelled wrong on it.

Kings 1, Ducks 2

 

Who cares about this game from last night? The game to care about occurs today at 12 noon pacific time. The Calgary Flames take on the Chicago Blackhawks in Chicago. If the Flames lose in regulation... The Los Angeles Kings are in the playoffs for the first time since 2002.

Only one real observation from last night's game...

img_2327

This was the hottest Selanne orgy I'd seen since...

teemusauna

 

Go Hawks Go! Check out BlackHawks Down Low and 2nd City Hockey to see if the city of Chicago can give up its hatred of Los Angeles for one glorious day.

Pundays: Special Edition

Written by The Royal Half on .

Now Pundays is the new feature here at The Royal Half that is sweeping the nation. And normally we'd just keep it for Mondays... but something happened tonight so punbelievable that we just had to post it:

dust-three

Your guess is as good as mine. Any ideas what NHL.com was trying to pun here?

A) Just 3 ?
B) Rusty? Over here, Dad.
3) Dostoevsky ?

Let us know what you think in the comments!

Red Light District

Written by The Royal Half on .

The Royal Half Los Angeles Kings Playoff Clinching Countdown...
AKA... did Calgary Lose Tonight?... did Jon Bernier Get a Shutout Tonight?

NO.

BUT HE DID ALRIGHT AGAINST THE

WEST'S HIGHEST SCORING TEAM.

So the Los Angeles Kings come out against the Vancouver Canucks and opened up a good ole fashioned can of whoop-ass. Exactly the type of game this team needed during this tough playoff race. And the Kings continue their recent strategy of playing excellent against teams that are guaranteed to make the playoffs. But all is not lost, Vancouver Canucks, I mean one of the perks of coming down to Southern California to play the Kings is the gorgeous weather...  it really gives you the opportunity to work on your tan.

redlou400

redlou2400

Kings 8 (!), Canucks 3, Minds: Blown

 

Ryan Smyth Bobblehead Night wasn't part of our Half Season Ticket Holder Package, so Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I made the decision to save the money and not buy tickets for this one. (Well, really we are just going to spend that money on like half a Playoff  ticket.) But I could imagine this would have been an awesome game to be at and not just because I've been told the Ryan Smyth Bobblehead Hair feels like the hair of a unicorn. Jon Bernier is a really interesting goalie. He has the technique of the now "traditional" French-Canadian butterfly style goalie but he also looks like he could be a contemporary of Tom Barrasso and Pete Peters with his giant long pads and tall frame. And to top it all off... he comes out to challenge the shooters in a way Kings fans haven't seen since the days of Robb "Blueline" Stauber. I'm very curious to see what Coach Murray and GM Dean Lombardi decide tomorrow in terms of Bernier's future with the big club.

youngbernie400

Jon Bernier... now 3-0-0 with a .957 save percentage and 1.30 goals against average.

But enough talking... I used up most of my energy tonight screaming in celebration at the tv screen. So let's just do what you came here for... a Cavalcade of ScreenGrabs from Tonights Game... after the jump!!!

 

Inner Arrogance

Written by The Royal Half on .

Oh, I get it. It makes sense now. Over these last few games of the season The Los Angeles Kings can only get motivated to beat teams who are actually going to make the playoffs. I mean, I would want to also be able to beat the crappy teams, but what do I know? This is Coach Murray's team, not mine. This new strategy only makes me concerned when I see this team is going to play Anaheim twice and Edmonton once over these final 6 games. And I think that all Kings fans could have totally predicted who would be the player that takes this team on their back and leads it into the playoffs.

capt.48a6c0b6e44d47f6b7862473693e21dc.kings_red_wings_hockey_mico107

"Hey Jon, how's it going? Listen, um, Coach wanted me to tell you... um...
how do I say this? Me and Bernier? We're going to take it from here. Thanks."

Kings 2, Predators 0, Kings Nation lives to see another day

 

When Scooter Parse and Sean O'Donnell are your two goal scorers... all can't be that bad in the world can it? So the Kings blow games against the Blues, Stars and Wild but come out strong against the Predators... a team they had to beat. Kings Franchise Goalie of the Future™, Jon Bernier, had a 34 save shutout and hardly looked like he broke a sweat during it. Sure, I saw Bernier when he played 4 games for the Kings at the start of 2007, but that was a way different Kings team and last night, Bernier looked like a way different goalie. I didn't watch the Dallas game he won a few weeks ago, but last night all the hype about Bernier rang true. The dude hardly moves. At times, especially when there was a flurry of Nashville activity in front of him... he even looked bored.

bernieyawn400

Boooooring.

So if you are Coach Murray, what do you do? Do you keep Bernier on the roster for the last few games and into the playoffs? Does this ruin GM Dean Lombardi's master plan of having Jon Bernier go deep into the playoffs for the Manchester Monarchs? Do you laugh out loud because your devilish plan of having Assistant Coach Mark Hardy run over Erik Ersberg in practice in an effort to injure him worked out better than you thought it would? Because I think what we have here is a good old fashioned Goalie Controversy!

quickpissed400

"Remember me, bitches? I've won 39 games! 39! He's won 2!"

2 great goalies is a High Class problem to have. This is Jon Quick's team. He's earned it this season. But if Coach Murray feels like throwing Erik Ersberg to the Wolves (actually the Monarchs) and keeping Jon Bernier around to play against Anaheim and Edmonton. I have no problem with that. What do you think TRH reader?

UPDATE: PuckDaddy has an amazing compilation of the History Will Be Made spoofs. And the Marty McSorley one is first!

History Will Be Made

Written by The Royal Half on .

If you haven't noticed, the NHL has an awesome campaign going on right now that wonders what would happen if great Stanley Cup moments never occurred. Well, in true internet meme fashion... some amazing spoofs have been popping up all over the internet. And here my friends... is the latest.

 

Sounding Off

Written by The Royal Half on .

The Royal Half Los Angeles Kings Playoff Clinching Countdown...
AKA... did Calgary Lose Tonight?

kings-wild

NO. CALGARY DIDN'T PLAY.

SO INSTEAD, THE STUPID FUCKING KINGS LOST.

Los Angeles Kings fans got a great look at what's in store for them in the playoffs tonight in Minnesota, as Future Franchise Goalie, Jon Bernier, was recalled from the minors and suited up as Jon Quick's backup.. And by "what's in store in the playoffs"... of course I'm talking about the Manchester Monarchs quest for the Calder Cup... which will be the only playoffs Kings fans will be seeing this Spring.

berniedrew400

"So yeah, I'm leading the AHL in save percentage and shootouts. 3rd in wins."
"What's the AHL?"

Kings 2, Wild 3, Moral: at a all time-low

 

zamorgan400

Okay, Minnesota Wild... I think you are getting a little too clever for your own good.

Listen, what do I know... I just post funny screengrabs of the Kings. I'll let the real analysts of the Kings Blogosphere tell you what's going on with this team. Check it out... after the jump!

 

Pundays

Written by The Royal Half on .

"No circumstances, however dismal, will ever be considered a sufficient excuse for the admission of that last and saddest evidence of intellectual poverty, the Pun."
- Mark Twain
"Puns are the highest form of literature."
- Alfred Hitchcock

Over the last few years, I've become increasingly obsessed with the NHL.com front page headlines... headlines that each day tend to use an awful pun. So, we here at The Royal Half are proud to introduce our newest regular feature... Pundays! Each Monday we will highlight a NHL.com headline and present the top 3 rejected ideas. Since all the talk of the NHL now seems to be who is going to clinch a playoff spot, let's start Pundays off right...

berthright.pun

Top 3 Rejected Headlines:

1) After Berth
2) Berth Control
3) The Berth of a Nation

 

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Oh, and in Los Angeles Kings news.... consider the panic button officially pushed. Goalie of the Future, Jon Bernier, is coming back to the big leagues. Not quite sure what Dean Lombardi and Coach Murray are thinking here... maybe they want to rest Jon Quick down the stretch... maybe they want to remind him that there is a dude in Manchester that can totally take over his place if he doesn't get his game together... or maybe it's just over for Erik Ersberg.

ersbergg400

"Hey guys, remember me. I'm the capable backup on the team. Remember last week,
where I came in during a 3-1 game and gave up no goals so we could tie and get an important point?
Okay, I'll just sit here then."

Playoff Clinching Update

Written by The Royal Half on .

The Royal Half Los Angeles Kings Playoff Clinching Countdown...
AKA... did Calgary Lose Tonight?

 

cal-was

NO.

 

But thankfully the Colorado Avalanche lost to the San Jose Sharks. Calgary is 4 points behind the Av's... 5 points behind the Kings. Gulp.

standings

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