Now that the Stanley Cup Hangover in Los Angeles has come to an end, we can finally look back at some of the bigger additions that were made over the summer... by the fans of the Los Angeles Kings.
The Kings Twitter account may be accused of being sarcastic...
but you can't say it's not optimistic.
Man, I really hope Jon Quick makes the jumbotron video on Opening Night.
You know, for the the segment "How Drunk Did I Get This Summer?"
I know that I haven't been writing with the regularity that you would come to expect after the Los Angeles Kings won their first Stanley Cup Championship in 44 seasons in the NHL. But after two months time of refreshing and recharging my hockey soul, I am more ready than ever to start blogging all about the upcoming NHL season. And boy am I excited to watch some hock.... WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!
Whew! For a minute there I thought you were about to say the NHL was going to have a lockout!
This above is simply a photo of one of Mike Richards many sex toys.
It's a Brand New Episode of All The Kings Men Podcast in which Jesse Cohen and I rock out with our locks out. We also talk to Dennis Bernstein from The Fourth Period who actually understands what all the negotiation between the NHL Owners and Players is about.
Check the latest All The Kings Men here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below.
I was asked by Yahoo's Puck Daddy to contribute to their NHL Essentials series. If you are curious what I think the seminal moments in Los Angeles Kings history are... you can read the Los Angeles Kings Essentials here. Come for the article... stay for the comments.
You nailed it, DaveGeek. You nailed it.
So unfortunately... unless there is some sort of miracle agreement between the NHL and NHLPA... us hockey fans are going to have to spend our Fall watching awful Hollywood re-makes.
Although the trailer for Dumb and Dumber 3 wasn't too bad.
Wow... I can't believe they are re-making No Country For Old Men already!
Seriously... how does a photo like this even exist?!?
No... Sgt Pepper didn't teach the band to play... 24 years ago today people across the country stood up and screamed "LOS ANGELES HAS A HOCKEY TEAM?!?"
And my life was changed forever.
I have an autograph from Wayne Gretzky where he's wearing the "A."
I'm such a hipster.
Wayne Gretzky did so much for the sport of hockey in Los Angeles.
Well... except one thing.
Now, if you'll excuse me... I will be watching NHL Network all day long.
I'm glad that Justin Williams has finally found someone
that appreciates him for more than just his good looks.
Seriously... have you seen a photo of a member of the Los Angeles Kings organization with the Stanley Cup that is cooler than this one with Justin Williams?
Close.
Nailed it.
I thought I would be blogging, screen-grabbing and photoshopping my way through the single greatest off-season in LA Kings history. But instead... I've been lazy. I mean, come on... I haven't even watched the Official Los Angeles Kings 2012 Stanley Cup Champions DVD!!! I bet RudyKelly has probably watched that DVD more times than he's looked in a mirror in his life and Bobby Scribe has seen the DVD way more than his own wedding video. But not me... because I'm too busy recording a brand new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast with the Stanley Cup Winning Jesse Cohen! Go ahead and try to knock the shit-eating grin off of my and Jesse's faces as we talk about the 2 months since the Los Angeles Kings won the Stanley Cup. We also chat with Brad Lee from St. Louis Game Time about the complete failure that Davis Payne will be as an Assistant Coach for the LA Kings.
Check the latest All The Kings Men here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below.
It's so funny how I used to actually care about the NHL Awards and the NHL Draft. But then the Los Angeles Kings won the Stanley Cup for the 1st time... and I just can't find the effort to care about anything else. So instead... The Royal Half Mom provided me with a review of the NHL Awards Show from this past Wednesday night.
Like devoted hockey fans, Dad and I watched the NHL award show last night... in fact, I recorded it. What a flipping waste of time. I could have written and produced a better show - hell, your 5 year-old niece could have done a better job. Whoever produced it must be sleeping with someone important because it was so bad that it made us cringe. Not funny, not clever and where in the Hell did they find the presenters? Let's not forget that other than Mark Messier no one even mentioned the Kings. The audacity of a West Coast team to win the Cup. All the awards went to LOSERS who were praised beyond belief by the numb–nuts on the show. Once again, NBC Sports had their heads so far up their asses they couldn't see the light of day with a flashlight and a road map. And tell me, where does Tracy Morgan fit into the hockey world?
I sincerely hope this travesty will not go unnoticed by the Royal Half and I am praying with all my heart that the Kings win it next year too just to shut them all up.
Love,
MommyP.S. Feel free to quote me.
The apple sure falls far from the tree, huh? In other news, on June 18th I appeared on The War Room on XM Home Ice. For the last 2 seasons I've been the Los Angeles Kings Disaster Correspondent for hosts Mick Kern and Peter Berce... so imagine their surprise when they had to talk with me about my favorite hockey team winning the Stanley Cup. It's by far one of my most favorite radio spots I've ever done (except for this one of course) and we rambled on and on for 16 minutes about the joys of being a fan of the greatest game in the world.
Courtesy of the awesome and famous Stephen Slesinski and the awesome and infamous Indiana Matt... presenting the ultimate in The Royal Half merchandise... the 2012 TRH Stanley Cup Champion T-Shirt.
Now with 100% less Scott Parse!
These shirts come with a full guarantee that they were not worn in the Los Angeles Kings locker room. But there is no guarantee that Jeff Carter wasn't wearing it during a threesome this past weekend in Vegas. You can get this glorious t-shirt at our Zazzle store (don't ask) and all of our other amazing shirts at The Royal Half Gift Shoppe. Collect and Trade!
I honestly had no idea it would be like this. I figured the Los Angeles Kings would win the Stanley Cup and I'd be blogging non-stop about it until training camp starting in September. Don't get me wrong... this feeling I've had for the past 6 days is unlike anything I've ever experienced in my 25 years of being a fan of the sport of hockey. It's the perfect mixture of total euphoria and complete satisfaction. I've been walking around with my head in the clouds... constantly repeating to myself that the Los Angeles Kings are the Stanley Cup Champions as if in case I don't repeat it over and over it will somehow be taken away. Every time I see a photo on the internet of a player holding the Cup or a highlight from any of the 20 games they played... my eyes start welling up all over again. I have to assume that eventually these memories will fade away but one thing is for certain... the names of the people who matter the most in all of this will be forever etched into the greatest trophy in the world.
CLICK HERE TO READ THE ROYAL HALF RECAP OF GAME 6 OF THE STANLEY CUP FINAL!!!
I've been a fan since 1988. My Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I got our first Half Season Ticket Package for the 2002-2003 NHL Season. And this whole time... we've been waiting for today.
Sure... this win is for the players and the management... but in reality this win is for us, the fans, who have stuck with this team through thick and thin for the 44 seasons it's been part of the National Hockey League. Thank you... loyal readers of The Royal Half... for allowing me to feel like I get to share this special occasion with friends all across the world.
And with Darryl Sutter.
STANLEY CUP FINAL GAME #6
LA KINGS
40-27-15
95 pts, 8th in Western Conference, 13th in NHL
vs
NEW JERSEY DEVILS
48-28-6
102 pts, 6th in Eastern Conference, 9th in NHL
Kings lead Stanley Cup Final 3-2
5:00pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
NBC
BEST COACH TO COACH BOTH TEAMS BUT COME
NOWHERE CLOSE TO WINNING A STANLEY CUP WITH THE KINGS:
BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Down Goes Avery
Running with the Devils
In Lou We Trust
HAVE THE LA KINGS WON THE STANLEY CUP?
NO!
Well I'm back in Los Angeles after flying in from Newark, New Jersey and boy are my arms tired! From wiping away the tears on my face all night long after Game 5.
Ultimate NJ Devils Trollers.
I really hope the LA Kings win the Stanley Cup so we can call
a small, empty parking lot outside the arena "Championship Plaza."
Sweet homemade Stanley Cup without the "Cup" part, bro.
Sweet homemade Ilya Kovalchuk jersey, bro.
If there is anything more American than watching
a solider rappel down the side of hockey arena... then I don't want to know it.
When she files the divorce papers at least he'll know
the exact moment the downward spiral began.
Now that's the funniest thing I've ever seen!
I mean, seriously... who wears a Charlestown Chiefs jersey to a Stanley Cup Final game?!?
Really scary just how similar Justin Bieber and Bald Britney Spears look.
I was amazed at how many non-New Jersey Devils fans were hanging out pre-game.
I didn't ask... but I'm pretty sure this guy is related to Anze Kopitar somehow.
Huge John Stevens fan.
So two Devils fans, a Penguins fan and a Jets fan walk into a bar...
and 10 minutes later the Jets fan relocates to Kansas City.
Ton of Phoenix Coyotes fans in attendance as well.
Tons of fans of people who are jacking off in San Diego.
Patrick O'Neal.
Worst. Hashtag/T-Shirt Combination. Ever.
Obviously the cigar salesman in the Prudential Center lobby
was just preparing for the influx of Devils Game 5 victory purchases.
The Mike Richards/Jeff Carter Memorial Suite.
First of all... I was sitting in Section 119.
Second of all... maybe the LA Kings don't have any Stanley Cups...
but I've never seen a sign like this on the seats of any Kings home playoff games.
Obviously it's not working... because there were easily 5 empty seats around me at the start of the game.
This dude in front of me was not only wearing a hat with the brand-new Miami Marlins logo on it...
But it was also the desktop on his phone.
If that isn't grounds for ejection... I'm not sure what is.
Everywhere I looked at the Prudential Center there was a constant reminder that
the New York Liberty doesn't play in New York State.
I had my beer... I was settled into my seat... and then the puck dropped...
And all I saw was red for the next 60 minutes.
#YOL3GLO
You Only Lose a 3 Game Lead Once.
If there is one thing I learned during my travels to Newark for Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals...
It's that Kings fans and Devils fans can be united in their hatred of the New York Rangers.
I'm back in Los Angeles and heading to Game 6... and the best part about being at Staples Center is that no matter who wins tonight... I'll be sobbing uncontrollably.
Mainly because Anze Kopitar is wearing a Rednex Rebellion hat.
GO KINGS GO!
No seriously... go. I need this to be over. My heart can't handle much more.
STANLEY CUP FINAL GAME #5
LA KINGS
40-27-15
95 pts, 8th in Western Conference, 13th in NHL
vs
NEW JERSEY DEVILS
48-28-6
102 pts, 6th in Eastern Conference, 9th in NHL
Kings lead Stanley Cup Final 3-1
5:00pm, Prudential Center
Newark, NJ
NBC
BEST PHOTO OF THE ROYAL HALF IN BOTH TEAMS COLORS:
BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Down Goes Avery
Running with the Devils
In Lou We Trust
HAVE THE LA KINGS WON THE STANLEY CUP?
NO!
Sorry, guys... can't talk right now. I have to go see about a hockey team.
Go Bombers!
Yup, I'm flying out early Saturday morning and landing in Newark at 4:30pm. If you don't already follow me on Twitter.... now would be a really, really, really, really good time to start. Let me know if you want me to bring you back anything from New Jersey... besides a communicable disease, of course.
