So... um... PennerPoint™ isn't really going all that well this season. So introducing...

GAGNE GOAL™, BITCHES!!!

The rules are simple... just guess the exact time and period that brand-new 1st Line Left Winger, Simon Gagne, scores his 1st goal of the season today against the Detroit Red Wings... and you win a free t-shirt from The Royal Half Gift Shoppe.

Wear it ironically!

Now remember... hockey is played with a clock that counts down from 20:00... so your prediction for GagneGoal™ has to match the time from the official box score.

Using this screenshot, the goal is scored at 13:08 of the first period. NOT 6:52 of the first.

You can put your predictions in the comments below or reply to me on Twitter with #GagneGoal. You MUST use the hashtag #GagneGoal to be eligible. Good luck! Entries end at 9:30am Pacific Time this morning!

How do you know when you are officially embraced by The Royal Half? When he asks Tim from Ironsight Design to create a banner for your article, that's how! So for Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck's on-going "Know Your Opponent" series, in which she takes a... um... unique(?) look at the Los Angeles Kings' opposing team... we feel like this shiny new banner sums everything up just perfectly.

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for the Kings vs Red Wings on February 10th, 2013!!!

Before you listen to a brand new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast... be sure to read my TRH GAMEDAY PREVIEW for the Los Angeles Kings vs the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight in Ohio. You can read it here at LAKings.com. And since these LA Kings Gameday Previews are so incredibly funny I want to make sure that all 3 of my readers don't miss them. So check out the brand-new sidebar on the right hand side of this blog that archives each of the Gameday Previews from LA Kings.com. It's over here ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

Oh... and this happened today:

Check one off the bucket list, folks.
I've got my own Headline Box on a NHL affiliated website.

Once you've read the Preview of tonight's game... be sure to listen to myself, Jesse Cohen and John Hoven from Mayor's Manor chat about the past week of LA Kings hockey! You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:

Well, it works for the Los Angeles Kings Legal Department... so it might just work for The Royal Half Legal Department...

Disclaimer - The contents of the "Know Your Opponent" feature have not been reviewed or endorsed by the The Royal Half. All opinions expressed by Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck are solely (and most definitely) her own and do not reflect the opinions of The Royal Half or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors (ok, that's not entirely true... we actually are a LOT alike.) Brigitte's current whereabouts are not known to The Royal Half and she has no access to information beyond my email address and Twitter account.

So remember folks... the whole concept of "Know Your Opponent" is that Brigitte... not me... is taking an in-depth look at the Los Angeles Kings opposing team for tonight's game. So without any further legal indemnity... take it away, Brigitte!!!

Oh... this is awkward.

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for the Kings vs Blue Jackets on February 5th, 2013!!!

Guess who's baaaaaaaack???

PennerPoint™ was a huge success for this blog last season... a success in the sense that I didn't have to give out that many free t-shirts to people who correctly guessed which period and at what time of that period Dustin Penner would score his 1st goal of that game. We thought that after Dustin Penner scored one of the greatest goals in LA Kings history that we would retire PennerPoint™... but with Dustin Penner returning to the lineup tonight in Anaheim... much like Peter Forsberg... we can't let it go. 

The Greatest PennerPoint™ of All-Time.

The rules are simple... just guess the exact time and period that Dustin Penner scores his 1st goal of the season tonight against the Ducks... and you win a free t-shirt from The Royal Half Gift Shoppe.

Wear our t-shirts with pride to your local bar!

Wear our t-shirts with pride on national television!

Now remember... hockey is played with a clock that counts down from 20:00... so your prediction for PennerPoint™ has to match the time from the official box score.

Using this screenshot, the goal is scored at 13:08 of the first period. NOT 6:52 of the first.

You can put your predictions in the comments below or reply to me on Twitter with #PennerPoint. You MUST use the hashtag #PennerPoint to be eligible. Good luck! Entries end at 7pm Pacific Time tonight.

The thing is... I've never really had an issue with the Nashville Predators. In fact, until the Los Angeles Kings won the Stanley Cup last season I was kind of jealous of the Predators and their ability to make the playoffs 6 out of the last 7 years. Thankfully, we have Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck. With her unique weekly feature here at The Royal Half, "Know Your Opponent"... she is actually able to work through a lot of the pent-up anger she has towards the NHL's Smashville franchise. 

I mean seriously... how can you hate the Predators?

Oh... ok. I guess they do kinda suck.

Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for the Kings vs Predators on January 31st, 2013!!!

I wish there was some way to visually represent what LA Kings fans felt like when their team came from behind to beat the Vancouver Canucks on Monday.

Nope.

Closer.

Almost.

So close.

Nailed it.

KINGS 3, CANUCKS 2 (SO)

Click Here to Read The Royal Half Recap!!!

Before you listen to a brand new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast... be sure to read my TRH GAMEDAY PREVIEW for the Los Angeles Kings vs the Vancouver Canucks tonight at Staples Center. You can read it here at LAKings.com and you better hurry... not because it will be taken down... but because I might get killed by Canucks fans today.

Once you've read the Preview of tonight's game... be sure to listen to myself, Jesse Cohen and John Hoven from Mayor's Manor dissect the 1st week of LA Kings hockey! You can check out the brand-new episode of All The Kings Men Podcast here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below:

Today is Wayne Gretzky's birthday. It's always a special day in The Royal Half Household because if it wasn't for Wayne Gretzky... there would be no Royal Half. And today KingsVision has given us the greatest gift of all!

Wayne Gretzky's Above and Beyond was daily viewing when I was a kid. I'm dead serious. I watched that tape on a loop. In fact, I still have it today in my VHS hockey library.

Now all I need is a VHS player.
Mainly so I can watch the Guns N' Roses videos.

Spend your Saturday relaxing and watching the Above and Beyond video. It should bring back some great LA Kings memories. You know... when they didn't win the Stanley Cup. Remember those days??? Nope, me either.

Also, don't forget that the TRH GAMEDAY previews are now being featured at LAKings.com. We've made it to our fourth game! And I'm pretty sure the preview of the LA Kings vs the Phoenix Coyotes will be the one that will get us kicked off forever. Check it out here.

KINGS 1, AVALANCHE 3

Hey, Fox Sports West... is there anyway you can tell me which LA Kings player was injured 
and what the injury was and when the surgery will be?
I can't quite see it.

If things don't work out for Davis Drewiske as a fill-in NHL Defenseman...

...he can always be a regular cast member on Mad Men.

The best part of finally seeing our Los Angeles Kings on Fox Sports West was not being able to hear Bob Miller and Jim Fox call a game for the first time in nearly 11 months...

Nope, it was Bob Miller humblebragging his new bling for all the world to see.
Well, at least the part of the world that gets this particular regional sports network.

My name is Daniel Plainview. And this is my son and partner, H.W.

I love that we live in a world where Jim Fox's Twitter handle makes it on screen graphically.

Worst. Episode of the Charlie Rose Show. Ever.

Talk about living in the past... Anze Kopitar is still wearing his 2012 Playoffs branded underwear.
Or Fox Sports West just used an old shot of Anze before last nights game.

Avalanche fans... please keep your babies far away from the action on the ice...

...otherwise Kyle Clifford will eat them.
Seriously... it's been over 3 years... does anyone know if Kyle Clifford has a soul?!?

This guy is walking into the Pepsi Center just looking for a fight.

Aww... nice try Gabe. But don't worry... it's still a cute Cup.

Hey, Philadelphia Flyers fans... I know that the LA Kings haven't won yet either this season...
but we'd like to give you an "A" for effort.

I just wish there was some way to visually describe how I felt watching the defending Stanley Cup Champion LA Kings play a great period and half before completely running out of gas in the high altitude of Denver...

No.

Still no.
(FYI, this is a full 2 minutes later than the one above.)

Nope.

Warmer.

Way colder.

Nailed it.

FYI, in case you forgot... my TRH GAMEDAYS posts are now exclusive to LAKings.com. You can check out the one previewing the Kings-Avalanche game from last night (SPOILER ALERT: The Kings lost) over at LAKings.com.