Thursday's game against the Phoenix Coyotes wasn't part of my Half Season Ticket Package. But I had scored 2 free tickets to the game and called up one of my oldest friends... who happens to also be my oldest "long suffering Los Angeles Kings fan" friend.  She and I met around 1993, at the height of King Fandom in Los Angeles. How old-school Kings is she? Well, her jersey collection consists of replica Robb Stauber and Darryl Sydor jerseys. So what do two 30-something, 20-plus year Kings fans do when the current incarnation of their favorite team is slogging its way through a 2-0 loss to a division rival? You try to name the most obscure Kings from the past and then top one another. That's what you do!

We called it a tie after she said Doug Houda and I said Todd Elik. 

But spending the majority of the night throwing out names from the last 25 years got me to thinking about this current Kings team. They were so ready for prime-time... the "Next Chicago Blackhawks"... just one impact player short of Stanley Cup Contenders. And now... well, while the playoffs are not out of the picture at all, the 2010-2011 Los Angeles Kings have to find an identity. And they have to find it quickly. The Kings may just be 5 points out of a playoff spot, but they are 2 losses away from being a .500 team. And there is no excuse for that. Not even this:

Even if the War Room in Toronto pulls their head out of their asses to see this wasn't a goal... the Kings still lose 1-0. People might say "oh, well that 2nd goal wouldn't have been scored if not for that emotional, controversial goal in the 2nd period." That my friends is bullshit. This is a professional sports team who is supposed to be able to endure the ups and downs of the game. Not cave in after being told a goal was scored against them. But, as long suffering Los Angeles Kings fans... we'll continue to show up at Staples or watch on tv... and hope our favorite team won't let us down again. Because that's what we do... we are Kings fans. We are used to being disappointed. 

And in regards to what Dean Lombardi said after the game... in regards to that emotional, controversial goal in the 2nd period. Good for him. It's about time someone involved in this hockey team showed a little fire and made it seem like they actually care about what is going on. 

The St. Louis Blues have won 2 of their last 8 games. Which team did they beat for those 2 wins?

The Los Angeles Kings have won 2 of their last 11 games, beating such powerhouses as the Edmonton Oilers and the Columbus Blue Jackets. What has caused this recent slump?

This might have something to do with it.

Couldn't pick a worse time to start growing a new mustache, Richardson.

Fox Sports West HD screwed up again...
that graphic should read "3rd and Final Season with Kings." 

So when your favorite ice hockey team is incredibly unmotivated and underachieving... all that's left to do is see what comes up on Google Image search for "Los Angeles Kings Suck." 

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap and See What Google Image Search Came Up With!!!

So I went to an official Los Angeles Kings Watch Party... and all I got was this...

...lousy photograph with the only Kings employee hotter than Heidi Androl. 

... lousy personalized autograph from the star of one of the greatest Kings memes of all time.

... lousy team autographed "Kings Fans Parking Only" sign that I won in a raffle for 6 dollars.

So I went to an official Los Angeles Kings Watch Party and all I got to see was a lousy hockey team lose the 7th of its last 9 games. 

"Thanks, Joe. I shall use this stick to crush the dreams of Kings fans... everywhere!"

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says the Kings should feel confident about making a coaching change with a somewhat capable head coach, John Stevens, already on the existing coaching staff. I have been firmly in the "Don't Fire Coach Murray" camp the last few weeks... but the old saying goes... if you can't fire the players... you gotta fire someone. Sure the Kings may be only 3 points out of a playoff spot, but not many of the teams in front of them seem to be willing to slow down and let the Kings catch up. 

A ROYAL HALF UPDATE:
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy in no way endorses a coaching change for the Los Angeles Kings, but rather just states that if a change is made, there is a capable replacement there. 

See! That's what he said!

It was Legends Night at Staples Center and after a week that already featured Canadian Pride Night and Dodgers Night... I started to think. Aren't promotions like this the kind of thing that is done by teams that are struggling to win and allientating their fans? Oh... wait.... nevermind. Bring on the Purple and Gold!

I think this girl didn't realize what jersey the Kings were wearing tonight.

And this guy was confused about which Kings legend was being honored. 

And this guy was just confused.
Legends of Players That Banged Alyssa Milano Night is next  Thursday.

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

Well, you the fans came out in droves to vote for your favorite worst NHL players to participate in the 2011 Brian Willsie Invitational All-Scrubs Game Presented by Enron and Pepsi Blue. 

For those that don't remember (or don't care) the 

Brian Willsie Invitational Loser League is a fantasy hockey league comprised of some of the best and brightest hockey bloggers, tweeters and fans who have come together to compete for one common goal... to assemble the worst fantasy hockey team possible. The rules are simple... if you score goals, get power play points or shutout opposing teams... you earn positive points. If you lose faceoffs, take awful penalties and are a consistent minus on your team... you earn negative points. The team with the most negative points at the end of the season takes home the coveted Mike Milbury GM of the Year Award

.

Sometimes a picture is worth a 1000 words.
 Or 7.15 million a year. 

We received 147 total votes, and surprisingly, the 2010-2011 Los Angeles Kings lineup was not a write-in. But who is the leading vote getter in the 2011 Brian Willsie Invitational All-Scrubs Game Presented by Enron and Pepsi Blue... with an astounding 8 votes?

Sup, bitches.

Click Here to See the Rest of the 2011 Brian Willsie Invitational All-Scrubs Game Lineup!!!

Tonight was Dodgers Pride Night at Staples Center, which celebrated two Los Angeles franchises that haven't won anything since Wayne Gretzky was traded to the Kings. 

What a couple of losers.

How bad is it for the Los Angeles Kings right now? When they fire Coach Murray tomorrow morning, they didn't even pick a coach that knows anything about hockey to replace him.

I would have gone with Ted Nolan.

Blues 3, Kings 1, Western Conference Basement, 12 points away

Since when did young Bill Murray become such a big Kings fan?

Awful. Just awful. No Pride. No Passion. And certainly no Power. And now they are looking to trade for the only player in the league older than Ryan Smyth? There is no way George Steinbrenner would stand for this. 

No wonder that the Los Angeles Kings are struggling to find their Team Identity. Coach Murray is changing the lines left and right. GM Dean Lombardi is cashing in his frequent flier miles in an effort to shake up the roster. And Kings fans... well Kings fans are just being Kings fans. But how can you believe that your favorite NHL team is going to get its act together quickly... when then can't even print their logo correctly on a $68 sweatshirt?

Oh what's that, you ask? Just a simple little LA Kings sweatshirt with the team logo on the chest?
Take a closer look.

The Kings can't even get their own logo right. 
Last I checked, there were purple dots in that crown.

Yep, there they are.

So we can sit here and debate which overpriced forward the team should trade for, or which former NHL coach to hire or why is the teams once powerful defense... not so powerful anymore. But at the end of the day, this franchise can't even get the logo right. How the hell are they going to go 24-17 in the last 41 games to earn 95 points? 

An IM transmission between myself and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy from exactly 1 year ago today...

I shit you not. 1 year ago today.

Same shit. Different day. Getting the Kopitar, Smyth and Williams line from last season back together is fine. Putting Handzus, Clifford and Brown together? Remember when you were a kid and you would take your cup at 7-11 and put a bit of every single drink from the soda fountain into it? Yeah, that's the new 2nd line. And for the 3rd line of Stoll, Sturm and Simmonds? Well, let's just say based on the Los Angeles Kings and their injury issues with the letter "S"... I can't imagine this line will be together long. Rumor has it that Dean Lombardi is taking in the Bruins-Senators game tonight in Boston. Just relax people and don't jump to conclusions. He's simply there to see if Luke Richardson or Doug Houda is ready to be an NHL coach.

(Again, I'm in the "Don't Fire Coach Murray" camp.)

As Los Angeles Kings founder Jack Kent Cooke once said in reference to the 300,000 former Canadians living within a three-hour drive of Los Angeles... "Now I know why they left Canada... they hate hockey." But tonight, at Staples Center, as the Toronto Maple Leafs were in town to battle the Los Angeles Kings in the Canadian Pride Night Winter Classic, I was actually excited to see an influx of our neighbours to the north come to the arena... as Canadians tend to be some of the most knowledgeable hockey fans around.

And then there was this guy. 

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

There really hasn't been a young player in the Los Angeles Kings system that's been as bi-polar to fans as Jack Johnson has been over the last 5 years. Everyone thinks that Dean Lombardi stole him from Carolina in 2006, giving up only Eric Belanger and Tim Gleason… but people don't realize that the Kings actually got the bad end of that deal. They had to take on Oleg Tverdovsky for 26 games. 

This was the only action Tverdovsky and Sopel had near the net during their Kings tenure.

Kings fans were ecstatic with the trade and the legend of JMFJ was born. And then… he actually started playing for the Kings. 

It's not that Jack Johnson is a horrible NHL defenseman. Don't get me wrong. He's far from it. In fact, I even singled him out as having the potential for the biggest breakout on the Kings this season. I mean, for fucks sake… he's 6th in the league in scoring!

Way to salary dump, Chicago. 

It's just that when you are drafted 3rd overall and have been a poster-boy for the rise in the development of the American hockey player… there is a certain expectation of play. And some nights Jack Johnson looks like a sure-fire #1 NHL defensemen.. and some nights he looks like Thomas Wilson on skates. 

The thing to remember is that Johnson is only 23 years old. And his skill level is only going to increase. It turns out that Dean Lombardi knew exactly what he was talking about when he called out Johnson last year for his lack of hockey pedigree. Johnson has taken a huge leap forward but still struggles on a nightly basis to understand the basic defensive responsibility of an elite NHL defenseman. But then the next moment he does this. 

So 30 million over 7 years, with a 4.3 million dollar cap hit each year. I'd say it's a pretty fair deal, considering what other defensemen in the NHL will be making between 5 and 4 million a year the next few seasons.

That Komisarek deal just gets better and better each game.

And the best part of it all? It's a very tradable contract. Even if this is the top of Jack Johnson's talent ceiling… if that elusive NHL white whale, the scoring left winger, becomes available the next few seasons… and the Kings young defensemen mature as they are supposed to, 4.3 million dollars is a very easy cap number to navigate in a trade. 

"Jack, I'm very happy you re-signed. But don't fuck up, I have my eye on you. Until I'm fired."

I'm not saying that I'm upset with the extension of Jack Johnson at all... I'm just saying that as a fan, I'd rather watch Drew Doughty struggle horribly through a season than watch Johnson throw a puck up the middle in his zone again. But for now, Dean Lombardi has locked up Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, Matt Greene and Jack Johnson all through the 2013-2014 season at decent rates. Now just lock up Kyle Clifford to a lifetime contract and we've got ourselves a team. 

"Marco!"

"Stollo!"

"Fish out of the doghouse!"

Oh yeah... the Los Angeles Kings ended a 5 game losing streak with a questionable win over the Columbus Blue Jackets. Sharpen your skates, have a piece of loyal toast and put on your favorite Tom Cochrane record… cause Monday night at Staples is Canadian Pride Night!