Well, at least it was an isolated incident.

If the Dallas Stars lose a game, then the Gates of Hell known as the Western Conference finally fly open as the Kings, Anaheim Ducks and Phoenix Coyotes would all clinch a playoff spot. For the Kings, this would be the first time they've been in the playoff in back-to-back years since 2002. How long ago was that?

Nickelback's, "How You Remind Me" was the #1 hit. 

Well, at least they are Canadian, right?

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is the number 1 movie in 2002. And I had totally forgot about the failed start-up hockey league that was formed out of it.

The Hobbits took it all that year, but the league really wanted the Rangers to win.

And making its television debut in 2002 was the reality hit, American Idol.

Which allowed Mike Fisher to be traded to the Predators so he could score 4 goals in 24 games.

So here we are in 2011 and with any combination of a Dallas Stars loss and a Los Angeles Kings win, the Kings will taste the sweet nectar of the post-season for the second straight year. And this time, to make it interesting, they are doing it without their 2 leading scorers!

"Wayne, don't worry. I got this. A lot of people don't know...
but I scored 4 goals for the Green Bay Gamblers in 2002." 

Matt Greene played for the Green Bay Gamblers?
That must have been a marketing departments wet dream.

Even after beating the Stars 3-1, the Los Angeles Kings technically haven't scored on an NHL goaltender for 5 periods. I'm really diggin' Coach Murray's new strategy for scoring off the opponents defensemen.

That Goligoski trade really paid off here for the Kings.

Now I'm sure every single Kings fan will be rooting for the Anaheim Ducks to beat the Dallas Stars today. But just keep in mind that a victory by the Ducks puts them 1 point behind the Kings. I don't know about you, but while the travel time to each game would be pleasant, I wouldn't want to be the NHL franchise that plays the Ducks in the first round. Even after Doug Murray took a 5 mile jog at Lubomir Visnovsky. 

Battle of California has a great breakdown of how awesome the state was in March.

With a Stars loss today, all 3 California teams will qualify for the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time ever. Meanwhile, it looks like Canada is only going to have 2 teams in the post-season. (3 if you count Buffalo.) Forget Winnipeg, I think it's time the NHL seriously considers a different destination for the Phoenix Coyotes.

Bring back the Gulls!

Is there anything more embarrassing than not putting forth your best effort in front of the opposing teams' fans?

Getting warmer...

...Nailed it.

The rumors are true! Tonight on this very here website, it's the 1st Ever Royal Half Live Game Chat! And you won't believe who we got to host!

"Sherman Oaks... go ahead!"

It's the Los Angeles Kings versus the Vancouver Canucks! So come back here at 7pm Pacific Time Thursday night and chat with myself and all the stars of The Royal Half... Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy, Indiana Matt, Jersey Brian... and we might even have a special guest calling in!

See you at 7pm! Here's hoping we don't get to witness a Kings player break his femur live!

Although Edmonton is the City of Champions, I thought it was a bit of a gutless move to unveil their brand new statue tonight, during the Los Angeles Kings first game since 2007 without Anze Kopitar. 

Kings 2, Worst Team in the NHL 0, Anze Kopitar At Home Alone

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

A lemming on ice.

Last Saturday was a tough one for me and HSTHB. After witnessing the snap heard around the world (or at least around LA Live) in person, HSTHB and I hardly spoke to each other for the rest of the game. Later that night, while I was drowning my sorrows in iMovie, HSTHB texted me around 8pm with this:

"Just woke up from a nap... please tell me I was dreaming that the Kings Ironman broke his ankle."

I know that I can be overly-realistic and under-enthusiastic as a Los Angeles Kings fan. I think I do that because... well, it's an easy way to cope with disappointment. I learned this from a Facebook thread over at the Die Hard Los Angeles Kings Fan Page.

Man, Carmela Hanna really had it in for me.
I love that "Go Be a Ducks Fan!" is still an harsh burn in this day and age.

Today, Puck Daddy said that the game tonight against the Edmonton Oilers is "Game 1, A.D." as in Anze Down. I like the sound of that. And while the cries of "I Still Believe" amongst Kings fan on the internet are starting to approach the annoying stage... at least it's inspiring fans to have better Twitter profile pictures.

Created by @KevinYoung90.

So I'm going to take some advice from the boys over at LA Kings News and pull back on the "we are doomed and cursed" throttle a little bit. Even though that is really what I believe. I'm going to look at the positives!

1) The Los Angeles Kings have back to back 40 game winning seasons for the first time... oh... for the first time EVER.
2) The Los Angeles Kings are going to be in the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since 2002.
3) HSTHB and I are going to be attending playoff games in back to back seasons for the first time since EVER.
4) A Los Angeles Kings goaltender won 30 games in back to back seasons for the first time since EVER. 
5) Although the Los Angeles Kings are going to make the playoffs, they will do nothing in them because their best player and leading scorer broke his fucking ankle. (Shit! This being positive thing is harder than I thought!)

Man, Parker Lewis Can't Lose really jumped the shark in it's later years.

The starting lines for tonight's game.

Penner-Handzus-Moller
Smyth-Lewis-Brown
Ponikarovsky-Stoll-Simmonds
Clifford-Richardson-Westgarth

Trevor Lewis, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. I've been a big fan of Lewis during this season. After bouncing in and out of the lineup over the 1st month, he has solidified the 4th line center position, giving the Kings good defensive responsibility with a hint of offensive potential. And he kills penalties. The majority of his time has been spent with Kevin Westgarth as his winger, so it's easy to see why Lewis' potential hasn't translated to any points up on the board. And since he's been a 4th liner all year, Trevor Lewis is so unknown outside of Los Angeles, there are hardly any photos of him on the internet.

I'm pretty sure the one on the bottom is him, but it's so hard to tell.

Don't forget, Dean Lombardi traded Pavol Demitra in 2006 to get Trevor Lewis with the 17th overall pick. (And Patrick O'Sullivan. What ever happened to that guy?) Kingscast reminded me that when he was drafted, Bob McKenzie labeled Lewis as a Rod Brind'Amour type.

If Lewis ends up being half the man Brind'Amour was...
he'd be 8 times the man I am.

Let's be realistic. (Shit! There I go again!) The line of Ryan Smyth, Trevor Lewis and Dustin Brown is now the Los Angeles Kings' #1 line. Mainly because ever since Mayor's Manor took a photo of Dustin Penner holding a Pennermania t-shirt, Penner hasn't had a point. In fairness to the Mayor, Penner has only 1 point since we unveiled our rival Dustin Penner t-shirt. Tonight is the game that HSTHB was the most worried about, even before Kopitar went down. The Oilers are a fast, young team with a lot to prove. And the Kings? Well this is their first game since they lost their best player and leading scorer to a broken fucking ankle. Tonight... the Kings season begins again... A.D. 

It's an all-new Pundays at The Royal Half, where we feature the best and worst of the NHL.com pun-filled front page headlines from the past week. And since I no longer have anything to live for, I can focus my attention on the amazing... aw, forget it... just get it over with, alright?!?

I mean, seriously. All of these injuries to the Los Angeles Kings have made me want to turn off the hockey game on tv, curl up underneath a blanket and just get drunk on a nice bottle of wine. 

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

What if the Los Angeles Kings weren't cursed?

I've never been in an abusive relationship... but I have to think that being a Los Angeles Kings fan is the closest I'll get. As I've experienced several times before, just when things are feeling right and happy... and we are getting along great... my favorite hockey team comes home one night and beats the shit out of me in a drunken rage. 

The 5 Stages to Being A Los Angeles Kings Fan When You
Lose Your Best Player with 7 Games Left Before the Playoffs.

Denial.
"No way we are fucked."

Anger.
"We're fucked!!!"

Bargaining.
"We are not fucked. We are NOT fucked."

Depression.
"Why! Why does this always fucking happen to me!"

Acceptance.
"We're fucked."

I think it's really cute how Kings fans are trying to believe that losing Anze Kopitar to a broken ankle is no reason to think that this team is finished being a contender in the West. Some even point to the Pittsburgh Penguins and the job they've been able to do all season with the loss of Sydney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Problem is that the Penguins have been adapting since mid-January... not with 7 games left in the middle of the craziest playoff race ever. The loss of Kopitar isn't just his 72 points and his quarterbacking on the Power Play. He was this teams one true offensive threat... the kind of player that opposing defenseman would back off from. And now that is gone. I have no doubt that this Kings team will still qualify for the playoffs, but even for the most die-hard of fans, it's nearly impossible to think they will do anything in the post-season. And for myself, being a fan of this team for 23 years... and living through disappointment after disappointment and injury after injury. It's enough to make you scream.

I'd like to remember Anze Kopitar as I last saw him before that horrific injury... with the exact same face... but skating. 

Never forget.

You know you want to see it again. 

I know I give Jim Fox a lot of shit... but man, he is heartbreaking in this video.

Back...

...and to the left.

Some people have claimed that the Los Angeles Kings have been cursed since 2002, when they erected a statue to Wayne Gretzky in front of Staples Center. Since this statue went up, the Kings are yet to win a playoff round (making it to the post-season just once, last year), have gone through 17 goalies and suffered many, many injuries. But I don't think the Wayne Gretzky statue had anything to do with Kopitar's injury today. No, instead I blame this piece of Kings history instead...

Screw you, Burger King jersey.

Today was the 2nd Annual Burger King Jersey Appreciation Day at Staples Center. Last years was a great success but this one... well, I think it's safe to say... you can blame the beady little eyes of that angry king for spooking Anze Kopitar and forcing him to get caught in a rut and twist his ankle. 

This dude was so embarrassed to wear the Burger King jersey
that he waited until he was at warm-ups to put it on.

Worst. Clan Meeting. Ever.

This was actually the ugliest jersey I saw at Staples Center today.

So there you have it. Anze Kopitar and Justin Williams. #1 and #2 leading scorers for the Los Angeles Kings gone within 5 days of each other. Your top 5 scorers for the Kings are now Dustin Brown, Dustin Penner (kinda), Ryan Smyth, Jack Johnson and Jarret Stoll. God help us all. Indiana Matt and I had planned to unveil our latest Royal Half t-shirts after the victory over the Avalanche today. Little did we know, that we'd be delivering a eulogy. So here they are! Yay?

The "I ♥ AK" t-shirt.
Now, only $11.
Never forget.

All of these and many other t-shirts are available at The Royal Half Gift Shoppe. Perfect for wearing during MRI's! Use the code "SPRING2011" or "CADSPRING2011" for $10 off an order of $50 or more.