For me, this is the most accurate way that the people of Northern California have ever been depicted on television.

Okay, maybe this one is better.

I dare you to not spend the rest of your day watching AmbiSoul's rants on YouTube.
I dare you.

The only thing worse than checking a dude's face into the boards which gets you a 1 game suspension?
The judgemental stare of Rich Hammond. 

Jarret Stoll is out for Game 2. I'm okay with his suspension. That was an ugly, ugly hit and if the NHL did nothing it would set a bad precedent for the rest of the playoffs. Bobby Ryan can thank Stoll for that. But because of the Stoll suspension, for a brief few moments, it was almost Johnny Zeiler time for the Los Angeles Kings. So instead, Oscar Moller gets the call... and he must be incredibly excited to know that the only reason he's playing in Game 2 of the NHL Playoffs is because of an administrative error. 

I really struggle to understand why Coach Murray won't take Oscar Moller serious as an NHL forward.

Apparently, Dustin Penner has gone from a healthy scratch in Game 1 to back on the 1st (?) line for the Kings, with Michal Handzus and Dustin Brown. I think I know what is wrong with Penner. After spending 3 seasons in Edmonton, he's just not used to playing in mid-April. Or maybe he's had his mind on other, more personal matters.

Usually, Penner is a caddy for his GM come this time of year.

Game 2 is tonight at 7pm. I'll probably be watching live. So use the comments below to scream once Moller gets his hat trick. 

Well that was the team that each and every Los Angeles Kings fan was hoping they would be after the devastating injury to Anze Kopitar. They were physical, they moved the puck around and they looked good doing it.

Justin Williams may be at 80%... but he's still 100% good looking.

The game that Justin Williams pulled off tonight was as close to amazing as you can get in the 1st game of a playoff series. Just 4 weeks after dislocating his shoulder in a game against Calgary, Williams went out there Thursday night in San Jose and showed the hockey world that you better not count the Los Angeles Kings out just yet. With Williams scoring a goal and an assist, I am completely perplexed about how he came back from his injury so quickly.

Oh. Well that makes sense then.

Kings 2, Sharks 3 (OT)

Click Here for the Rest of the Game 1 Royal Half Recap!!!

I think it's really cute how Los Angeles Kings fans across the board are predicting a 1st round upset over the San Jose Sharks. I mean you can't blame them really… that's what a fan does… they support their team with blind faith through thick and thin. But here's my problem with predicting the Kings to beat the Sharks in the 1st round of the NHL Playoffs… if by some miracle they do win… you get to brag about what a soothsayer and hockey scout genius you are. If they lose, then you get to brag about how you believed in your team no matter what. It's a win-win situation really. It takes a real fan to look at their team with realistic expectations… and predict that they are going to lose.  

Sharks in 4.  

The Sharks boast an impressive roster of offensive talent. Remember how everyone was making a big deal about how the Kings have 6 forwards with 20+ goals? (It's really 5 if you don't count Dustin Penner who showed up here with 21 and now has... 23). Well San Jose has 7 dudes with 20 goals.

And what do the Kings bring to the table for this 1st round battle? Justin Williams at 80%!  

That's right, bitches!! Might even be 83% by 7pm tonight!!! Woo-hoo!

I'm pretty sure when Dean Lombardi sat down 5 years ago and laid out all the boxes he had to fill in order to rebuild this awful franchise he never imagined that his playoff hopes would hinge on whether or not to call up a 19 year old rookie. Lombardi was faced with the dilemma of losing a year off of Brayden Schenn's entry level contract by bringing him up for a 4 game series with the Sharks. But instead he has sent him to a place where he can actually go deep in the playoffs... Manchester. The Kings burned the 1st year of Oscar Moller's contract in 2008 by keeping him on the roster… and look how well that has turned out. There is no guarantee if Schenn will be a super stud or not. He showed some skills in the first 8 games of the season but nothing is a given in the NHL. Right, Lauri Tukonen?  

"Hey guys. I'm here to replace Kopitar. If he were playing in the AHL."

The best part of this playoff series will be the hot California on California action that will pit a team from the Bay Area against a team from Los Angeles for the 1st time since 1969.  

A tv show about a dude in California that is addicted to sex?
I had no idea Jarret Stoll had sold his life rights.  

Of course there is a part of me that desperately hopes the Kings pull off the upset of the year. I've been a fan of this team too long to not have the ability to have some blind faith. But I've also been a fan of this team long enough to know the true meaning of disappointment. At the end of the day you have to look at it this way I guess… the Los Angeles Kings went 8 years without making the playoffs. Now they are there 2 years in a row… and not even as the 8th seed! It's progress for sure.  

I don't care if Williams is back.
We aren't updating the shirt. 

If you haven't ordered your 2011 Playoff Shirt… hurry up. You may not have long to wear it. I may not be able to watch live tonight, but feel free to chat it up in the comments. And away we go…  

I don't view The Pensblog so much as a member of the Bloguin Family but rather the Emperor of the Bloguin Family. So you should really go over to Rinkotology.com and sign up for their awesome Stanley Cup Playoff Fantasy League. I've done it before and it's a lot of fun. It's simple, you pick one player from each playoff team to create your fantasy team. The longer that player lasts... the more points you earn. They are also debuting a new game for the 1st Round, where you pick the most clutch player (ie, someone who gets Game-Winning Goals and Assists) from each team. Here's a hint... whatever you do, don't pick a Los Angeles King. 

They are giving away $3700 in cash prizes, including a $1000 grand prize. So head over to Rinktology.com before 5pm Eastern time tomorrow, April 13th, to register your team. And tell 'em that The Royal Half sent ya. They hate us over at The Pensblog and that will really piss them off.

As a Los Angeles Native, it is my duty and my honor to hate on our neighbors to the north. Sure, Big Sur is lovely, but if it were up to me, I'd break California in half at Fresno and make it two states. You couldn't find two groups of people more different than Northern and Southern Californians. Sure, they may say that those of us from Southern California are self-absorbed and self-obsessed... but at least we look good while doing it. 

This is pretty much everyone from Northern California.

The folks from Northern California are incredibly righteous and they play frisbee golf... so it's amazing that they've actually been an able foe in terms of intra-California professional sports playoffs. This is the first time since 1969 that a hockey team from the Bay Area has played against a team from Los Angeles in the NHL playoffs... (no, I'm not counting the Sharks-Ducks series from 2009... I said "Los Angeles")... so I thought I would take a look back at the great professional sports playoff battles between Northern California and Southern California. 

A brief visual history of the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks in the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Click here to check out the Best of NoCal vs SoCal in professional sports playoffs!!!

The 2010-2011 NHL Regular Season is now behind us and 16 lucky teams look forward to battling each other to the death over the next 2 months. For the fans of those 16 teams, this time of year is one of the most exciting... for the other 14 teams it's a time to think back to the past 6 months and wonder what your favorite team could have done better in order to earn a spot in the post-season.

Oh yeah, Carolina Hurricanes? Anything I can do, you can do better?
Oh I don't know... I might have actually shown up for your game against Tampa Bay. 

Click here to check out the last regular season best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

Patrick Marleau-Joe Thornton-Devin Setoguchi
Ryane Clowe-Logan Couture-Dany Heatley
Torrey Mitchell-Joe Pavelski-Kyle Wellwood
Ben Eager-Andrew Desjardins-Jamal Mayers

Douglas Murray-Dan Boyle
Marc-Edouard Vlasic-Jason Demers
Niclas Wallin-Ian White

Antti Niemi

Kyle Clifford- Brad Richardson-Wayne Simmonds
Ryan Smyth- Jarret Stoll-Dustin Brown
Dustin Penner- Michal Handzus-Oscar Moller
Alex Ponikarovsky-Trevor Lewis- Kevin Westgarth
Justi Willia 

Rob Scuderi- Drew Doughty
Willie Mitchell-Jack Johnson
Alec Martinez- Matt Greene

Jon Quick

Let's just make this quick and painless, huh boys? You'll notice I have Justin Williams in there at 80%.

Guess what I got today?

32 bookmarks!
I mean... my Los Angeles Kings Playoff Tickets!

The entire county of Los Angeles can exhale now... the Kings have clinched a playoff spot with a particularly inspired 3-2 victory against the Phoenix Coyotes Wednesday night at Staples Center. Even the players were caught up in playoff fever.

I can't tell if Jarret Stoll is excited...
or if he's showing the ladies of Hermosa Beach what he demands later tonight.

When the season started back in October, I think we all knew exactly which player would put this team on his shoulders and carry them into the playoffs.

This guy.

With his 2nd period goal, Kyle Clifford tied the game for the Kings and a little while later found himself as the #1 star of the game.

When asked how he felt going to the playoffs for the first time, Clifford said:
"They are gonna be a lot of fun." 
You are right, Kyle Clifford. They are gonna be a lot of fun.

I hereby call the line of #13 Kyle Clifford, #15 Brad Richardson and #17 Wayne Simmonds... The "Mac Book Pro Line." Ok... maybe then... the "Battle of Ontario." 

Make 'em proud back home, boys.

The Kings making the playoffs in consecutive years wasn't the only piece of Kings history to re-visit Staples Center tonight. Trade Deadline Acquisition Dustin Penner also decided to show up.

This was on the back of every box of milk served at Staples.
Seriously, are missing person ads on the back of milk cartons even a relevant joke anymore? 

Probably tired of being called out on back to back days by Coach Murray, Penner might have played his best game as a King, throwing that massive body around the ice. And let's be honest, have you seen a cuter set of wings than Penner and Oscar Moller?

Penner is actually on one knee.

A lot of people thought the Los Angeles Kings were gonna buy the farm when it came to making the playoffs. They couldn't have been more wrong.

I know that Stoll told Doughty to go after a slumpbuster, but this is ridiculous.

Here we are. 2 games left in the regular season and if the Kings can win them... they will have home ice advantage as the 4th seed. Raise your hand if you thought that was possible 2 weeks ago.

I love it when Dustin Brown does his Marky Mark impression.

How excited was everyone at Staples Center to clinch a playoff spot? 

Heidi Androl didn't even notice Indiana Matt stalking her all night.

So after 7 years of having Half Season Tickets without any post-season action, myself and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy are going to the playoffs for a 2nd straight year. And then the Kings will get swept in 4 games without Anze Kopitar and with an 80% Justin Williams. I'm trying to stay positive, I promise! Maybe the new Playoff T-Shirt we've designed for 2011 will prove to you how hopeful I'm being for the playoffs.

I swear I'm trying.

You can buy it today... and wear it next week. At a Los Angeles Kings NHL Playoff Game. Damn, that feels good to say. And if the newest commericial from the NHL doesn't give you goosebumps... then you aren't human.

We all seem to forget that Michal Handzus was once a Coyote.

Trying something new tonight due to our awesome new commenting system... a Gameday Thread. Feel free to chat it up in comments below as the Los Angeles Kings take on the Phoenix Coyotes in the Battle of the Playoff Spot. Winner makes the playoffs. The loser... dies. 

Really? Based on a true story. Really?

Today Bloguin upgraded our comments here at The Royal Half to the LiveFyre system. It's really awesome and easy to use. Here are a few tips:

#1 - You will need to either register with Livefyre.com or sign in using Facebook or Twitter. Everyone has Facebook or Twitter, right? You can't post as a guest or anonymous... sorry. But take the few seconds to sign up for LiveFyre and it will be worth it. And if you says something SUPER clever in the comments here... you can post it directly to Facebook or Twitter. Cool, right?

#2 - If you already have a Bloguin user name and password integration will be coming soon. But just do LiveFyre, Facebook or Twitter for now.

#3 - Flickr, Twitpic, tinypic, and imgur are the supported image sources, which means you just copy and paste the URL into the comment box and the image shows up as a thumbnail. And you all know we love attaching images here at The Royal Half.

#4- For videos, YouTube and Vimeo work. Just paste the URL, and your video will show up. And you all know we love attaching videos here at The Royal Half.

Hopefully the new comment system will encourage all of my awesome readers to chime in and speak up... especially with the NHL Playoffs right around the corner. (Hopefully.) You can sign up to get notified right away if some one replies to your comment or adds something new. To see how it works, check out this epic comment battle going on at Days of Yorr right now! Also, check out this great blog post about how to get the most out of LiveFyre.