Hey, it's January 1st. Time to take down those Christmas lights, right buddy?

If it wasn't for Los Angeles, Roberto Luongo would never get a tan.

CANUCKS 1, KINGS 4
PACIFIC DIVISION, 1st

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE ROYAL HALF!!! 

Game #39

LA Kings
(18-14-6, 13th in NHL)
vs
Vancouver Canucks
(24-12-2, 3rd in NHL)

Canucks Lead Season Series 1-0

7:00pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG THAT I'VE ATTENDED A PLAYOFF GAME WITH IN PERSON:
Benched Whale

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Canucks Army
Nucks Misconduct
Pucked in the Head

So I go away for a couple days to enjoy some excellent skiing and what do I miss?

The single greatest moment of LA Kings-based homo-eroticism since this.

TOP 3 TWEETS I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN HAD I SEEN THIS INSTEAD OF SKIING

1) With the way that Darryl Sutter literally manhandles the players on the bench,
why is anyone surprised that Drew Doughty grabbed Jarret Stoll's cock after a goal?

2) I know that Darryl Sutter wanted to create a new identity for the Kings,
but Drew Doughty grabbing Jarret Stoll's cock after a goal may not be it.

3) Obviously, Terry Murray was a homophobe.

This has been an amazing year at The Royal Half. We've had over 300,000 page views the past 12 months, which I think is nearly 299,999 more page views than we've had the last 3 years. Thanks to all of the great fans that comment, tweet, send me emails with awesome photos and videos, or those that just lurk and laugh or curse. Happy New Year to you all and Go Kings Go!!!

Game #37

LA Kings
(17-14-5, 19th in NHL)
vs
Chicago Blackhawks
(23-9-4, 1st in NHL)

Chicago Leads Season Series 1-0

5:30pm, United Center
Chicago, IL

MOST FRENCH PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

Cristobal Huet is earning $5,625,000 this season.

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Blackhawks Down Low
Hockeenight
Second City Hockey
Cheer the Anthem

Game #38

LA Kings
(17-14-5, 18th in NHL)
vs
Winnipeg Jets (2011-2012 Edition)
(16-14-5, 22nd in NHL)

5:30pm, MTS Centre
Winnipeg, MB

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS WHO MIGHT BE GETTING A PROMOTION SOON:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Jets Nation
Winnipeg White Out
Arctic Ice Hockey

I guess I have only one question about the Los Angeles Kings kinda-annual Fathers and Sons Road Trip. Does Simon Gagne's dad stay in LA... or travel with the team to act as a surrogate father to Kyle Clifford?

Because there is no way anything human gave birth to this thing.

So the fathers of the LA Kings players are heading with them to Chicago and Winnipeg in the middle of Winter. I don't know... if I were a LA King Dad... I'd probably rather go on the Tampa Bay and Miami road trip in the middle of February. But these are Hockey Dads we are talking about, so they are probably used to the cold. 

Winnipeg really is beautiful this time of year.

KingsVision has an AMAZING feature on the 1st part of this Father-Son Road Trip. Check it out.

Rob Scuderi's Dad sounds like he is off-the-boat from Long Island.

How can we really be sure these guys are the fathers of our favorite hockey players? They look nothing alike.

Nope, don't see it.

Okay, that is exactly what Brad Richardson is gonna look like in 30 years.

Kings fans... answer in the comments... who do you think these Mystery Dads are?

I know that's Brad Richardson's dad in the middle.
That may be Super Mario's dad on the left. 

From the haircut alone, I would assume that's Trent Hunter's dad on the left.

Alright... which dad is wearing the super-cool belt cell phone holder???

The dad on the left is none other than "J2"... the man who created Jack Johnson... Jack Johnson Sr.

You might have missed it last night on the telecast... but it seemed that J2 was hitting the complimentary alcohol a little too hard...

Here J2 is congratulating Reid Mitchell on his son scoring a goal Monday night.
And here is Reid Mitchell about to punch J2 in the face.

Jack Mother Fuckin' Johnson didn't get his nickname from playing at Michigan...
...he got it because his father is one, crazy mother fucker.
 
JACK JOHNSON SR FUN FACT: J2 won a National Championship at Wisconsin in 1973. 

The KingsVision piece even showed Fathers and Sons bonding on the plane trip.

Dustin Penner and his father watched highlights of his play... from 2009.
And Penner slept through most of it.

"5 Game Winning Goals isn't good enough for you, is it Dad?!? I HATE YOU!!!" 

"I was just pointing out that my son has the same amount of goals as Drew Doughty... but in 1 less game!
What a hoot!!!"

"Dad... you're embarrassing me."

"Sorry that you won't get a chance to see me play, Dad.
Ever."

It looks like Kevin Westgarth got the brains in the family.

This is my new iPhone lock screen.

What an amazing bonding experience for Fathers and Sons to be able to have. They really must be cherishing each and every moment of it.

Or simply treating it like every other family get together...
by sitting in silence one seat away from each other. 

COYOTES 3, KINGS 4 (OMFG!!!)

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

Game #36

LA Kings 
(16-14-5, 20th in NHL)
vs
Phoenix Coyotes
(18-14-3, 16th in NHL)

Season Series Tied (1-1)

7:00pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST COACH TO COACH FOR BOTH TEAMS
THAT THE KINGS SHOULD HIRE ONCE SUTTER AND LOMBARDI GET FIRED

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Five For Howling

There are 47 games left in the 2011-2012 NHL Season. In order to get 98 points in the Western Conference (which no way guarantees a playoff spot, but is rather likely to secure one) the Los Angeles Kings need to go 28-14-5. Depressing, right? Well... maybe they don't need to go exactly 28-14-5 to get 98 points.

Wait... this team only needs to go 19-21-7 to get 98 points?
That's TOTALLY doable. 
Although 47-0-0 would make me feel more confident about making the playoffs.

Call it a do-over, a reset, a mulligan... whatever you want. But the LA Kings 2011-2012 season re-starts tonight against the Phoenix Coyotes. And this is the guy that is going to be in charge of their playoff destiny.

I love this photo so much.

I don't get it... why is everyone so excited about watching a bunch of little juniors play in an ice hockey tournament? OHHHHH, I see. Of course, Mayor's Manor provides your best coverage for any LA Kings player at the World Junior Championship in Alberta. And if you are looking to follow the tournament on your iPad or your iPhone, check out this cool app from a Friend of the Blog, Row0. You can download the app for your iPad here. Check it out and let the developers know what you think. They are cool guys, even if they are from Edmonton.

Guess Who's Back?!?

With 2 points in the last 7 games... now is as good a time as ever to bring back an extra-special Holiday Edition of PennerPoint! The rules are still simple. Just guess the exact time and period that Dustin Penner scores his 3rd goal of the season tonight against the Coyotes... and you win a free t-shirt from The Royal Half Gift Shoppe. You can put your predictions in the comments below or reply to me on Twitter with #PennerPoint. If for some reason Dustin Penner scores the 3rd goal of the game in regulation tonight (which would be the 1st time in 15 games the Kings have scored 3 in regulation)... we'll have an extra special bonus for the winner. Good luck!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! But for some people, the holidays can bring on a horrible depression that sends them into a spiral of malaise. So even though you should be happy that hockey is back after a 2 day Holiday Vacation... I'm starting to worry about the Holiday mental state of the Pun Headline Writers at NHL.com.

Most. Depressing. Pun Headline. Ever.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

After extending their Franchise Record of 14 consecutive games with 2 or fewer regulation goals scored, the Los Angeles Kings have released their newest holiday song to the fans.

"Merry Christmas... and sing along with me!"

On the 14th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Justin Williams with 2 goals in 26 gaaaaames...

On the 13th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Kyle Clifford underachieeeeeving...

On the 12th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Simon Gagne with 1 goal in 17 gaaaaames...

On the 11th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Anze Kopitar with 2 goals in 21 gaaaaames...

On the 10th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

The greatest player in Los Angeles Kings histoooooory...

On the 9th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Oscar Moller so he could score some goaaaaals...

On the 8th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Drew Doughty underachieeeeeving...

On the 7th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Rob Scuderi traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 6th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Jake Muzzin traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 5th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

An end to Dean Lombardi's 5 Year Rebuilding Plaaaaan...

On the 4th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

A reminder of the last time the Los Angeles Kings scored more than 4 goaaaaals...

On the 3rd game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Jack Johnson traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 2nd game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Matt Greene remembering how to play defeeeeense...

On the 1st game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

The greatest gift ever for my blooooog.

I hope you and your loved ones are having a great 14 Games of Scoreless.

SHARKS 2, KINGS 1

Presenting the most awesome Jim Fox and Bob Miller video ever.

The inability of the Los Angeles Kings to score goals makes me want to scream.

Sorry... wrote that sentence wrong.
The inability of Justin Williams to score goals makes him want to scream.

I wish there was some way to visually represent what it feels like to be a LA Kings fan right now.

Nope.

Nailed it.
Seriously... how is it possible that a face can even make an expression like this?

According to Fox Sports West HD, Darryl Sutter has coached in Chicago, San Jose, Calgary, San Jose, Calgary and LA.

He's changed so much from his time in San Jose.

I appreciate the fact that everyone thinks Darryl Sutter is a much more "hands-on" coach than Terry Murray was... but this is just wrong.

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH
AND WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST OF THOSE FRINGE LATE DECEMBER HOLIDAYS!

GO KINGS GO!!!

Game #35

LA Kings 
(16-14-4, 19th in NHL)
vs
San Jose Sharks
(18-10-3, 12th in NHL)

Season Series Tied 1-1

7:30pm, HP Pavillion
San Jose, CA

BEST COACH TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

He sure has changed so much.

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Fear the Fin
Couch Tarts

Well, we are only 1 game into the Darryl Sutter era and already he's made a bat-shit-crazy move.

The Top 3 Things Darryl Sutter Said to Jon Bernier

1) "Dude... sweet ink."
2) "This is the closest you're gonna get to the ice until you are traded."
3) "Jon... I know I've only been here 1 day... but I think I'm in love with you." 

Oh man, the Darryl Sutter Era is SO much different than the Terry Murray Era... I mean... the LA Kings scored 2 goals in regulati... awww, fuck.

See... I totally told you guys.

There was some general excitement at Staples Center last night about the new coach. And it seems that even though for the 13th straight time the Los Angeles Kings scored 2 goals or less in a game... there was a glimmer of hope in the crowd. Oh... I'm sorry... I meant total boredom in the crowd... as this guy in front of me would rather watch the Detroit-Calgary game on his iPhone than the one being played 50 feet directly in front of him.

If this guy was a big Darryl Sutter fan,
then watching the Flames play while Sutter coached the Kings must have been the greatest internet porn ever.

After the game, Darryl Sutter talked about the changes he made to the LA Kings lineup and how it affected the players.

Turns out that Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I weren't the only people in Staples Center excited about Darryl Sutter's debut. 

This woman was terrified by it.

So after barely beating the 29th place team in the NHL... the Los Angeles Kings take on the San Jose Sharks tonight who lead the Pacific Division... with 3 other teams. And the Kings are only 3 points out of 1st in the Division? Wait... I thought the Kings were supposed to be awful?

"Mike, don't you ever leave me... don't you EVER leave me again."

"Start playing like you get paid kid and you won't need me to carry this team on my back."

Game #34

LA Kings
(15-14-4, 22nd in NHL)
vs
Anaheim Ducks
(9-19-5, 29th (!) in NHL)

Kings Lead Season Series 2-1

Thursday, 7pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

MOST AWKWARD PHOTO EVER:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Battle of California
Anaheim Calling

By now, we'll all seen the Dean Lombardi and Darryl Sutter press conference that lit up the internet yesterday. But I thought I'd share my favorite clip from it:

Well, here we go. The Darryl Sutter Era in Los Angeles begins tonight. And Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I will be there to see the 6th coach in our 9 seasons of being Half Season Ticket Holders. (And the 12th Head Coach I've seen during my 23 years of being a Kings fan!) From here on out, the Los Anglees Kings need a record of around 29-14-6 to get 98 points in the Western Conference. People are worried about how Darryl Sutter will be able to adjust to Los Angeles... but I say he's doing a fine job so far. 

Since Mike Richards went down with a concussion 21 days ago, the LA Kings are 2-6 with 13 goals scored. For those of you keeping score at home... that's an average of 1.6 goals per game. Also 21 days ago, Mike Richards was the Kings leading goal scorer with 11. And today... 21 days later... he still is. So who cares about the debut of Darryl Sutter...tonight, our great goal leader returns.

Please, please, please score some goals. Please.