LIGHTNING 1, KINGS 3,
ANDREI LOKTIONOV'S LAST NAME 0
I mean... there is an official NHL pronunciation guide, Rick Peckham. Use it.
I wrote this 1 hour and 30 minutes before the game started Tuesday night.
Seriously... have you ever seen the English language murdered like this before?
Someday we are all going to find out that Darryl Sutter was drunk for every single game behind the bench.
Game #54
LA KINGS
25-18-10
60 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
23-23-5
51 pts
11th in Eastern Conference
4:30pm, Tampa Bay Times Forum
Tampa Bay, FL
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
To learn more about Chris Kontos, contact your local library.
Or just click here.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Lightning Hockey Blog
Raw Charge
Don't Trade Vinny
Take one dose of the Tampa Bay Lightning:
53 GAMES - 145 GOALS SCORED - 2.84 GOALS PER GAME (8th in NHL)
53 GAMES - 170 GOALS AGAINST - 3.33 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (30th in NHL)
Add one shake of the Los Angeles Kings:
53 GAMES - 111 GOALS SCORED - 2.09 GOALS PER GAME (30th in NHL)
53 GAMES - 110 GOALS AGAINST - 2.08 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (3rd in NHL)
...And you've got yourself quite the amazing team. Stats don't lie. The Los Angeles Kings need the Tampa Bay Lightning's scoring ability and the Tampa Bay Lightning need the Los Angeles Kings ability to keep the puck out of the net. Here's an idea for the Trade Deadline.... just combine the teams and the Stanley Cup is ours. Or theirs. Or both of ours!!! Hey... how is that 10 day, 6 game road trip that determines the playoff future of this hockey team going?
Oh boy.
If the Kings keep losing 1 goal games I feel like Dean Lombardi is going to do something really bad.
Like really bad.
Mike Richards is so upset at his lack of scoring that he has regressed to acting like a schoolboy.
Jack Johnson does his best impression of how many goals
the Kings are going to score on the rest of this road trip.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't blowing a burp out of the side of his mouth.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back a fart here.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back taking a shit here.
I don't know what Darryl Sutter is trying to do here... but it scares me.
Ken Hitchock is shocked at Darryl Sutter's behavior.
Now that's a good looking coach! Sorry... "special assistant."
It's too bad the Kings hired Darryl Sutter instead of Kirk Muller.
He just looks like he belongs behind the bench of a Los Angeles Sports Team.
Oh... and his team actually scores goals.
Is it me... or has Dave Lewis gotten crazy fat since he left Los Angeles?
Yes, yes he has.
Until they start scoring goals for the Kings...
ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SUTTER FAMILY.
"So wait... the point of a hip check is to pin the guy against the boards to prevent him from passing you?"
"Yes, Drew. It is."
"Wow, I had no idea.
Wait... what's going on... are we in Heaven?"
"No, it's Iowa."
Hey, Kings fans. There is 7 million dollars of your ticket money at work.
Worst. Episode of The Office. Ever.
It's the worst goaltending versus the worst scoring in the NHL tonight in Tampa Bay. What's the worst that can happen?
Oh boy.
After a few week conditioning stint in the minor leagues Pundays is back! And while it does feel good to be looking at the best and worst of the NHL.com Front Page Pun Headlines again, this weeks edition kinda makes me want to gag.
Before his recent offensive outburst, the only place Sam Gagner was going was to every other team in a trade.
You really have to give credit to the Pun Headline Writing Team at NHL.com. They were really thinking outside the box on these Gagner headlines.
Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!
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Game #52
LA KINGS
25-16-10
60 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
ST. LOUIS BLUES
29-13-7
65 pts
5th in Western Conference
5:00pm, Scottrade Center
St. Louis, MO
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
Honestly, I had no idea Steve Duchesne played 163 games for the Blues.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
St. Louis Game Time
Thrashing the Blues
SATURDAY
Game #53
LA KINGS
25-16-10
60 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
CAROLINA HURRICANES
19-25-94
47 pts
15th in Eastern Conference
4:00pm, RBC Center
Raleigh, NC
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
Honestly, I had no idea Steve Duchesne played 163 games for the Blues.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Canes Country
Shutdown Line
As the Los Angeles Kings begin their 10 day, 6 game road trip that could conceivably dictate what moves they will make at the trading deadline... there is really only one big question that us fans have to answer at the start of this road trip:
YOU DECIDE!!
Remember... this is a serious poll. So...
BLUE JACKETS 2, KINGS 3 (KINDA)
Man, was that the craziest thing you've ever seen in a hockey game or what???
No... I see that crazy mug every hockey game.
No... I said "craziest" thing not "sexiest" thing.
Okay... I give you that.
But I was talking about another crazy-looking thing that happened in this game.
Enough with your guesses. Obviously the craziest thing that happened in the Los Angeles Kings 3-2 victory over the Columbus Blue Jackets at Staples Center Wednesday night was this:
Dustin Penner scored a goal!
Oh, right... and this happened too.
If you are having a hard time understanding what Jim Fox and Patrick O'Neal are saying to each other at the end, let me translate:
Seriously, though... how amazing is it that Fox Sports West HD even did this kind of analysis at the end of the game? If this were Fox Sports Pittsburgh, that video evidence would have been burned and then shredded immediately after the goal. Obviously the players knew that something was about to blow up because they were literally running out of Staples Center to catch their plane to St. Louis.
Drew Doughty didn't even have enough time to take his helmet off before putting headphones on for an interview.
There is your season ticket money at work, fans.
After the game, Drew Doughty was able to slip into the head covering he is much more comfortable in.
I swear I'm gonna start a Tumblr "Drew Doughty in Blue Jay Hats."
Unfortunately what was lost in all the time-clock madness was the fact that the LA Kings played awful against the 30th ranked team that had lost the night before 6-0. That... and photos of Jon Quick at the All Star Game!!!
Here is Jon Quick looking awkward.
Here is Jon Quick trying to look like a gangster but instead just looking awkward.
"Hey there son, my name is Marc Crawford."
"Yeah, I know... I played for you."
"Right! You're the guy I started Jason LaBarbera and Erik Ersberg over.
So... what's been happening. Still in the league?"
OMG... Luc Robitaille's youngest son is so freakin' cute!!!
I'm sorry what? Jim Fox who?
And just when you thought this clock-stoppage issue couldn't get any nerdier.... this happens:
Whoops... sorry. Wrong copy and paste.
From the LA Times:
Kings General Manager Dean Lombardi said via email that the clock was correct and no extra time had been added.
“Those clocks are sophisticated instruments that calculate time by measuring electrical charges called coulombs,” he said. “Given the rapidity and volume of electrons that move through the measuring device the calibrator must adjust at certain points which was the delay you see. The delay is just recalibrating for the clock moving too quickly during the 10 – 10ths of a second before the delay.
“This insures that the actual playing time during a period is exactly 20 minutes. That is not an opinion. That is science. Amazing device quite frankly."
Goddamn, I love my GM.
Dean Lombardi is such a bad-ass that sometime it just makes me want to scream.
Look how fast Justin Williams is skating over to be the 1st to grab Drew Doughty's junk.
6 games in 10 days on the road. Where you are sitting for the 2011-2012 NHL playoffs is decided right here. Why do I feel like we've been here before?
Game #51
LA KINGS
24-16-10
58 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS
13-31-6
32 pts
15th in Western Conference
7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
BEST TRADE DEADLINE ACQUISITION TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
No, seriously... with 5 points in 20 games,
Fredrick Modin is probably the best Kings trade deadline acquisition ever.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Dark Blue Jacket
Light the Lamp
The Cannon
Trades. Trades. Trades. Trades. Trades. It seems to be the only thing people want to talk about now that the All-Star Break is over. (Myself included.) But you know what? Until this team has scored more than 2 goals in its 2 games against the worst team in the league... you don't get to talk about which forward they need to bring in to complement the Top 6. HEY!!! DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, MISTER!!!
Matt over at Life in Hockeywood has started a Kings Blogger Prediction Panel in the spirit of what the Ottawa Citizen likes to do in order to keep their season interesting. (Offer not valid during the 2011-2012 season apparently.) So, here are 7 LA Kings Blogger Predictions for tonight's exciting Kings-Blue Jackets contest.
What say you? Put your predictions in the comments, yo. |
It's something that us Los Angeles Kings fans love to joke about. Trade us your superstar... your consistent goal scorer... your playmaking center... and within a few games he'll have completely forgotten how to play the game of hockey or at least he'll get injured in the process. Of course in the LA Kings Blogosphere, all the rage right now is to bash on 2011 Trade Deadline Acquisition, Dustin Penner, for his inability to produce goals and points as a Los Angeles King. Penner was brought in to be the 1st Line Left Winger and I mean... I know it's been bad... but just how bad has Dustin Penner been as a King? Let's take a look at his 4 years as an Edmonton Oiler.
DUSTIN PENNER - OILERS
GP 304 / GOALS 93 / ASSISTS 93 / POINTS 186 / POINTS PER GAME .61
And now... his stats once he was traded to the Los Angeles Kings.
DUSTIN PENNER - KINGS
GP 47 / GOALS 5 / ASSISTS 12 / POINTS 17 / POINTS PER GAME .36
POINTS PER GAME DIFFERENTIAL
- .25
In the span of almost 12 months, Dustin Penner has gone from a .61 points per game player... to a .36 points per game player. And that got me thinking... it couldn't just be Former Coach Terry Murray or Current Coach Darryl Sutter's offensive system that is causing this, can it? As a 20+ year Los Angeles Kings fan, I feel that since the Wayne Gretzky trade... every time this team has traded for a player that is supposed to come to Los Angeles and contribute offensively... it has only ended horribly. So, I decided to investigate.
Click Here to See the Results of The Royal Half's Trade Deficit Research!!!
SENATORS 1, KINGS 4
IN REGULATION!
I wish there was some way to visually represent how I felt seeing the Los Angeles Kings score 4 goals against one of the better teams in the Eastern Conference in person.
via @HarleyMae.
I wish there was some way to visually represent how every single LA Kings fan feels about the offensive performance of this team so far this season.
via @lafreak331
I wish there was some way to visually represent what Kyle Clifford looks like the moment before he eats a baby.
Kyle Clifford has 2 goals and 3 assists in 17 games under Darryl Sutter.
He had 1 goal and 3 assists in the prior 33 games.
I wish there was some way to visually represent what Ottawa Senators coach, Paul MacLean, would look like as a walrus.
HAPPY ALL-STAR BREAK, LA KINGS FANS!!!
SEE YOU NEXT... WEDNESDAY? WOW, THAT'S A LONG BREAK, HUH?
Game #50
LA Kings
(23-16-10, 12th in NHL)
vs
Ottawa Senators
(27-17-6, 9th in NHL)
7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS
This one is for you, Hockeywood.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Silver Seven Sens
The 6th Sens
Honestly, if it wasn't for this game... I wouldn't even know that the Ottawa Senators existed.
Seriously, when have you ever seen Jim Fox telestrate during a fight?
Since I know nothing about Ottawa, I turned to the two guys who do. DanyHeatleySpeedwagon is both an All-Star of blogging and tweeting. And he's going to be tweeting live from the All-Star game in Ottawa, so check him out this weekend. Here are his thoughts on the Senators season so far.. and what he knows about the LA Kings.
The Senators are tied for 4th in the Eastern conference with 60 points, nowhere near where anyone thought they would be at the start of the season. (Hint: where everyone thought they would be, including their fans, is the basement.) They've been rather impressive lately, winning 10 of their last 13. Less impressive is the fact 2 of their 3 losses came against the Thrashers Jets and the Ducks. (And we all know how much the Ducks suck, am I right?) Also noteworthy is the Senators just recently got their goal differential into positive territory. For a team in 5th place in the conference and near the top of the league in goals scored, that might have surprised you. (Go Eastern Conference!)
My impressions of the Kings this season are: I thought they were supposed to be better than 7th place. (Relax, I know they're getting better.) From what I understand, since they fired their coach and brought in Darryl Sutter the team has rebounded from a slow start and they are starting to pick up momentum in the West. Since they're currently in possession of a playoff spot, I'm sure they'll lose the game because the Senators only have trouble playing against teams that don't have to save themselves for spring time hockey.
BONUS THOUGHTS: I like the Kings black jerseys and despise that they play in the Western Time Zone since I'll be very tired for work on Tuesday morning.
Thanks DHSpeedwagon! And now, from uber-Senators fan and writer at Silver Seven Sens, here is RyanClassic's perspective on seeing a game live at Staples Center... which he did New Years Eve against the Vancouver Canucks!
So, have you ever wondered what it's like to be an Ottawa Senators fan? I'm being silly, of course you haven't. I mean, who wants to think about what it's like to be a fan of Canada's least-favourite franchise? Well, I do. Because I'm an Ottawa Senators fan. I don't
actually live in Ottawa (I live in Vancouver). I haven't lived there in a good eight years. And that's just how I like it. I like my team.
They're fun. They make more comebacks I love being a fan of a team that's nowhere near where I live. Except that I wear a Colorado Avalanche hat around town. I mean, who wants to be seen wearing THAT logo?On New Year's Eve, I had the pleasure of attending a Vancouver Canucks and Los Angeles Kings game at the Staples Center, and I left with a few takeaways:
1. Staples Center is HUGE. You could get lost just walking on the concourse. Ever been to HP Pavilion? It's about a third the size of
Staples. Sitting in the top row, I'm pretty sure I could see space.2. Nobody likes the Los Angeles Clippers. Lakers banners? Check. Kings banners? Check. Sparks banners? Pretty sure I saw them. But Clippers? Nowhere to be found.
3. Gene Simmons was on the Kiss Cam. I can't say how much that amused me. Then this one guy in front of us was trying to mock Canadians by asking out loud "when's the last time Gene Simmons went to a Canucks home game?" Well, three weeks later...
4. You guys really don't like Drew Doughty anymore. Yikes.
5. If you're going to go to a game in Southern California, go to Staples. Have you ever been to the Honda Center? It's a black pit that sucks away souls. Staples is where it's at.
BONUS THOUGHTS: I once lived with an Oilers fan who printed this out and dedicated our fridge:
Well, there you have it. An informed primer on the Ottawa Senators direct from the fans of Canada's 7th favorite hockey team. Us Kings fans can laugh at the Ottawa Senators all we want... but they still have the same amount of Stanley Cup Final appearances as our favorite team does.
Why did it have to be the Ducks?
Oh... and this:
AVALANCHE 3, KINGS 1
JON QUICK'S STICK 1, DANIEL WINNIK'S LEG 0
Ron Hextall gave Jon Quick the greatest birthday present of all.
Inspiration.
Whatever you do... don't piss Jon Quick off on his birthday.
Jon Quick's got a long way to go to top Ron Hextall in terms of being interviewed...
...naked.
Well at least there was one bright spot in this awful, awful game.
h/t to HarleyMae for the videos and to Bbry for the head ups on the Matt Greene interview.
