It's time to play America's (and certain parts of Canada) new favorite Game Show!!!
WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!
Since suffering an "upper body injury" on December 26th, 2011, Kings forward and Top 6 off-season acquisition Simon Gagne hasn't played one game. In fact, he's missed 18. And while Simon Gagne being out with an injury shouldn't have been a shock to most hockey fans, the LA Kings' offense has missed his scoring potential greatly... forcing Mike Richards to skate with Jarret Stoll as his winger for most of the season. The only impact Simon Gagne has now on the LA Kings is the salary cap mobility he provides if the Kings decide they should need to acquire an scoring forward at the Trade Deadline that can... you know... actually score. Since going down with his injury, Simon Gagne has vowed to grow a beard until he's ready to skate again... and this photo of Gagne surfaced early this week.
So, nearly 8 weeks after Simon Gagne suffered his concussion upper-body injury... where does he rank on the LA Kings stat sheet?
That's right... Simon Gagne is 7th overall in scoring for the Los Angeles Kings.
Everyone together... WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!
But let's be reasonable... Willie Mitchell and Rob Scuderi and Colin Fraser aren't supposed to have more points than Simon Gagne in any universe. So let's re-focus that list:
Personally... I think Jarret Stoll has been playing with some sort of hand injury all season that could be related to the arthritis he suffered two seasons ago. If you watch him during the game he hardly attempts any shots, it's strictly pass or dump first. Tell me, when is the last time you saw Jarret Stoll wind up and take a slap shot? And we all know what Dustin Penner's excuse has been this season. Instead of hoping that Simon Gagne provides cap relief so Dean Lombardi can grossly overpay for Tuomo Ruutu, maybe we should be hoping that Gagne makes it back in time for the end of the season so he can provide some offense. Which quite honestly... is just as much a pipe dream as Marco Sturm playing in tonight's game.
53 GAMES - 145 GOALS SCORED - 2.84 GOALS PER GAME (8th in NHL) 53 GAMES - 170 GOALS AGAINST - 3.33 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (30th in NHL)
Add one shake of the Los Angeles Kings:
53 GAMES - 111 GOALS SCORED - 2.09 GOALS PER GAME (30th in NHL) 53 GAMES - 110 GOALS AGAINST - 2.08 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (3rd in NHL)
...And you've got yourself quite the amazing team. Stats don't lie. The Los Angeles Kings need the Tampa Bay Lightning's scoring ability and the Tampa Bay Lightning need the Los Angeles Kings ability to keep the puck out of the net. Here's an idea for the Trade Deadline.... just combine the teams and the Stanley Cup is ours. Or theirs. Or both of ours!!! Hey... how is that 10 day, 6 game road trip that determines the playoff future of this hockey team going?
Oh boy. If the Kings keep losing 1 goal games I feel like Dean Lombardi is going to do something really bad. Like really bad.
Mike Richards is so upset at his lack of scoring that he has regressed to acting like a schoolboy.
Jack Johnson does his best impression of how many goals the Kings are going to score on the rest of this road trip.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't blowing a burp out of the side of his mouth.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back a fart here.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back taking a shit here.
I don't know what Darryl Sutter is trying to do here... but it scares me.
Ken Hitchock is shocked at Darryl Sutter's behavior.
Now that's a good looking coach! Sorry... "special assistant."
It's too bad the Kings hired Darryl Sutter instead of Kirk Muller. He just looks like he belongs behind the bench of a Los Angeles Sports Team. Oh... and his team actually scores goals.
Is it me... or has Dave Lewis gotten crazy fat since he left Los Angeles?
Yes, yes he has.
Until they start scoring goals for the Kings... ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SUTTER FAMILY.
After a few week conditioning stint in the minor leagues Pundays is back! And while it does feel good to be looking at the best and worst of the NHL.com Front Page Pun Headlines again, this weeks edition kinda makes me want to gag.
As the Los Angeles Kings begin their 10 day, 6 game road trip that could conceivably dictate what moves they will make at the trading deadline... there is really only one big question that us fans have to answer at the start of this road trip:
Man, was that the craziest thing you've ever seen in a hockey game or what???
No... I see that crazy mug every hockey game.
No... I said "craziest" thing not "sexiest" thing.
Okay... I give you that. But I was talking about another crazy-looking thing that happened in this game.
Enough with your guesses. Obviously the craziest thing that happened in the Los Angeles Kings 3-2 victory over the Columbus Blue Jackets at Staples Center Wednesday night was this:
Dustin Penner scored a goal!
Oh, right... and this happened too.
If you are having a hard time understanding what Jim Fox and Patrick O'Neal are saying to each other at the end, let me translate:
Seriously, though... how amazing is it that Fox Sports West HD even did this kind of analysis at the end of the game? If this were Fox Sports Pittsburgh, that video evidence would have been burned and then shredded immediately after the goal. Obviously the players knew that something was about to blow up because they were literally running out of Staples Center to catch their plane to St. Louis.
Drew Doughty didn't even have enough time to take his helmet off before putting headphones on for an interview. There is your season ticket money at work, fans.
After the game, Drew Doughty was able to slip into the head covering he is much more comfortable in.
Kings General Manager Dean Lombardi said via email that the clock was correct and no extra time had been added.
“Those clocks are sophisticated instruments that calculate time by measuring electrical charges called coulombs,” he said. “Given the rapidity and volume of electrons that move through the measuring device the calibrator must adjust at certain points which was the delay you see. The delay is just recalibrating for the clock moving too quickly during the 10 – 10ths of a second before the delay.
“This insures that the actual playing time during a period is exactly 20 minutes. That is not an opinion. That is science. Amazing device quite frankly."
Goddamn, I love my GM.
Dean Lombardi is such a bad-ass that sometime it just makes me want to scream.
Matt over at Life in Hockeywood has started a Kings Blogger Prediction Panel in the spirit of what the Ottawa Citizen likes to do in order to keep their season interesting. (Offer not valid during the 2011-2012 season apparently.) So, here are 7 LA Kings Blogger Predictions for tonight's exciting Kings-Blue Jackets contest.
The Royal Half Score: Blue Jackets 2, Kings 1, SO Reason: After watching the Columbus Blue Jackets lose 6-0 to the San Jose Sharks Monday night… I'm fully prepared for them to beat the LA Kings 2-1 in a shootout.
Jon Gillette from Rink Royalty Score: Kings 4, Blue Jackets 1 Reason: The Kings have had 9 days to reflect on their poor performance and have to be itching to get out there and show everyone that they're ready to kick some ass down the stretch and grab the Pacific Division.
Bobby Scribe from Surly and Scribe Score: Kings 3, Blue Jackets 1 Reason: dun dun dun dundun dun dun dun dundun dun dun dun dundun dundundun JACKETS SUCK!
Meg Jarrell from Kings Court Score: Kings 3, Blue Jackets 1 Reason: The Kings play the day before Groundhog Day, and I'm convinced the boys didn't see their shadow during the All-Star break.
Paul Armbruster from Deep Inside the Kings Score: Kings 3, Jackets 1 Reason: Rust vs. Must: Kings struggle early, trying to find their legs, while the boys from Ohio play desperate 'must win' hockey after being embarrassed last night. In the end, the Kings do just enough to squeak out a win after scoring an empty netter with under a minute to go.
Matt Murray from Life In Hockeywood Score: Kings 2, Blue Jackets 1, SO Reason: All season, the Kings haven't been scoring. I doubt they will have solved that glaring issue over the past nine days... Quick will continue to shine, however.
What say you? Put your predictions in the comments, yo.
DUSTIN PENNER - OILERS GP 304 / GOALS 93 / ASSISTS 93 / POINTS 186 / POINTS PER GAME .61
And now... his stats once he was traded to the Los Angeles Kings.
DUSTIN PENNER - KINGS GP 47 / GOALS 5 / ASSISTS 12 / POINTS 17 / POINTS PER GAME .36
POINTS PER GAME DIFFERENTIAL - .25
In the span of almost 12 months, Dustin Penner has gone from a .61 points per game player... to a .36 points per game player. And that got me thinking... it couldn't just be Former Coach Terry Murray or Current Coach Darryl Sutter's offensive system that is causing this, can it? As a 20+ year Los Angeles Kings fan, I feel that since the Wayne Gretzky trade... every time this team has traded for a player that is supposed to come to Los Angeles and contribute offensively... it has only ended horribly. So, I decided to investigate.