DARRYL SUTTER ON DUSTIN PENNER'S RETURN TO THE LINEUP: “It’s not just giving him another shot. He’s a veteran. He better step up to the plate. It’s very simple. He went out of the lineup because he was horseshit, so he’d better step up to the plate or he might not get another look. It’s simple. When we preach work and those things, and everybody does it, then he better do it.”
You think he's messing around?
If I'm Dustin Penner... I play the game of my life tonight. Otherwise I think we all know where Dustin Penner will be next season.
Sports Memorabilia conventions signing bottles of Aunt Jemima.
Yup.
Until the LA Kings score a goal, I'm only doing two things on this blog:
1) Posting screengrabs of Darryl Sutter looking like a monkey
2) Posting screengrabs of Mike Richards dressed like a hipster
The Los Angeles Kings are fighting hard for a bottom 4 playoff spot, are last in the league in scoring, have a healthy scratch debacle with Dustin Penner and are starting two rookies on the 2nd line against a hot team from Phoenix that is 2 points behind the Kings. Why yes, Los Angeles Kings management... it's the perfect time to announce a raise in the cost of season tickets!
A club spokesman said some seats will decrease by $5.50 to $12 and others will increase by as little as 50 cents to as much as $13 per game. The "blended" increase will be 9% for those who renew by the March 24 deadline and 11% for those who renew afterward or are new buyers.
The Kings may shoot twice, but there is no guarantee they score.
If you notice, there is a tiny light blue strip around the first few rows of the 300 sections that differs from the current season seating chart. Apparently, that is the area being hit the hardest by the increase in ticket prices but overall the ticket prices for the Kings are on the lower side in the NHL. Kings fan Eddie Resendez, who sits in this new light blue section, is seeing his tickets go from $22.50 each this season to $35 next. Eddie sits in Section 309, which if you look at the map above, is just about the furthest section away you can sit from where the Kings shoot twice. For those of you scoring at home that is a $537 total increase on his seats from last season.
It feels like I'm right there!
For me and my Half-Season Ticket Holder Buddy... our seats go up 3 dollars each per game if we renew our Half-Season Ticket Package by March 24th. Which to be honest... is kinda insulting. I always felt like we had really good seats but now I'm starting to feel... well... worthless. I guess I should feel a little bit better that if I don't renew before the March 24th deadline, my seats go up $9.50 for each ticket. But I feel like everyone else is getting their ticket prices increased by a franchise that has 2 playoff appearances in the last 8 seasons much more than I am. And as a Half-Season Ticket Holder I'm not even able to get all the benefits that come with this increase in pricing. That's right, if you are a Full-Season Los Angeles Kings Season Ticket Holder and you renew your seats by the early bird date of March 13th... you get a special surprise!
So let me get this straight... if I renew my seats by March 13th, a good month before this team will have a playoff spot locked up, I get a medallion that will commemorate the 45 years of futility that this franchise has suffered. SIGN ME UP, BITCHES!!!
Aww... don't be sad about the new ticket prices, Dustin. You'll still get paid. Even if you get traded to Columbus.
I'm going to renew my Half-Season Tickets no matter what. Why? Because I'm an asshole who loves going to Los Angeles Kings games and cheering for this team no matter what. I've been doing it for 20+ years so why would I stop now? But for other, less rich fans, this has got to be a huge slap in the face from a franchise who isn't just struggling to score goals... but also struggling to spell correctly. In the most recent "Teammates" article on LAKings.com, Jordan Nolan and Dwight King are asked to answer the same questions. And I'm pretty sure in a move to cut costs... they also had Jordan Nolan and Dwight King edit the article.
When this article posted early Wednesday morning, Dwight King and Jordan Nolan had just finished their streak dinner and were on their way to see Goodwill Hunting at the local move theatre.
A few minutes later, after a fan on Twitter had noticed the spelling errors, the food of choice for Nolan and King had been corrected, but the other errors remained in place. And then... a mere 8 seconds apart:
And finally, late Wednesday evening, the Teammates article received one more edit:
There is another mistake in this Teammates article... there is no way in hell Jordan Nolan's favorite player in the NHL is Todd Bertuzzi. I feel like they asked Jordan's dad that question by mistake.
Jesse from The Hockeywood Insider fame has started a new LA Kings podcast called All The Kings Men. And it looks like I'm going to be a regular guest on the new podcast every Thursday morning. The latest one is posted and you can check it out here. It's chock full of great talk about the Los Angeles Kings featuring myself, Jesse, Matt from Life in Hockeywood and Dennis Bernstein from The Fourth Period. There hasn't been this many Jews talking hockey since Mathieu Schneider's family reunion.
Dustin Penner better eat up at his Pancakes with Penner charity event Monday morning... because with the way Jordan Nolan and Dwight King played over the weekend, this could be Dustin Penner's last supper as a Los Angeles King.
It's time to play America's (and certain parts of Canada) new favorite Game Show!!!
WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!
Since suffering an "upper body injury" on December 26th, 2011, Kings forward and Top 6 off-season acquisition Simon Gagne hasn't played one game. In fact, he's missed 18. And while Simon Gagne being out with an injury shouldn't have been a shock to most hockey fans, the LA Kings' offense has missed his scoring potential greatly... forcing Mike Richards to skate with Jarret Stoll as his winger for most of the season. The only impact Simon Gagne has now on the LA Kings is the salary cap mobility he provides if the Kings decide they should need to acquire an scoring forward at the Trade Deadline that can... you know... actually score. Since going down with his injury, Simon Gagne has vowed to grow a beard until he's ready to skate again... and this photo of Gagne surfaced early this week.
So, nearly 8 weeks after Simon Gagne suffered his concussion upper-body injury... where does he rank on the LA Kings stat sheet?
That's right... Simon Gagne is 7th overall in scoring for the Los Angeles Kings.
Everyone together... WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!
But let's be reasonable... Willie Mitchell and Rob Scuderi and Colin Fraser aren't supposed to have more points than Simon Gagne in any universe. So let's re-focus that list:
Personally... I think Jarret Stoll has been playing with some sort of hand injury all season that could be related to the arthritis he suffered two seasons ago. If you watch him during the game he hardly attempts any shots, it's strictly pass or dump first. Tell me, when is the last time you saw Jarret Stoll wind up and take a slap shot? And we all know what Dustin Penner's excuse has been this season. Instead of hoping that Simon Gagne provides cap relief so Dean Lombardi can grossly overpay for Tuomo Ruutu, maybe we should be hoping that Gagne makes it back in time for the end of the season so he can provide some offense. Which quite honestly... is just as much a pipe dream as Marco Sturm playing in tonight's game.
53 GAMES - 145 GOALS SCORED - 2.84 GOALS PER GAME (8th in NHL) 53 GAMES - 170 GOALS AGAINST - 3.33 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (30th in NHL)
Add one shake of the Los Angeles Kings:
53 GAMES - 111 GOALS SCORED - 2.09 GOALS PER GAME (30th in NHL) 53 GAMES - 110 GOALS AGAINST - 2.08 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (3rd in NHL)
...And you've got yourself quite the amazing team. Stats don't lie. The Los Angeles Kings need the Tampa Bay Lightning's scoring ability and the Tampa Bay Lightning need the Los Angeles Kings ability to keep the puck out of the net. Here's an idea for the Trade Deadline.... just combine the teams and the Stanley Cup is ours. Or theirs. Or both of ours!!! Hey... how is that 10 day, 6 game road trip that determines the playoff future of this hockey team going?
Oh boy. If the Kings keep losing 1 goal games I feel like Dean Lombardi is going to do something really bad. Like really bad.
Mike Richards is so upset at his lack of scoring that he has regressed to acting like a schoolboy.
Jack Johnson does his best impression of how many goals the Kings are going to score on the rest of this road trip.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't blowing a burp out of the side of his mouth.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back a fart here.
Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn't trying to hold back taking a shit here.
I don't know what Darryl Sutter is trying to do here... but it scares me.
Ken Hitchock is shocked at Darryl Sutter's behavior.
Now that's a good looking coach! Sorry... "special assistant."
It's too bad the Kings hired Darryl Sutter instead of Kirk Muller. He just looks like he belongs behind the bench of a Los Angeles Sports Team. Oh... and his team actually scores goals.
Is it me... or has Dave Lewis gotten crazy fat since he left Los Angeles?
Yes, yes he has.
Until they start scoring goals for the Kings... ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SUTTER FAMILY.
After a few week conditioning stint in the minor leagues Pundays is back! And while it does feel good to be looking at the best and worst of the NHL.com Front Page Pun Headlines again, this weeks edition kinda makes me want to gag.
