Podcaster General Jesse has a brand new episode of All The Kings Men up for your listening pleasure featuring Matt from Life in Hockeywood and myself. Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below. In this week's episode we cover Dustin Brown's Hat Trick, Dustin Penner's Divorce and how to fix NHL Free Agency. And also Dustin Penner's Divorce.
I'm quickly becoming the Los Angeles Kings Disaster Correspondent for The War Room with Mick Kern on XM Home Ice Radio. After the Kings lost a 4-0 lead to the San Jose Sharks in Game #3 of the playoffs... I was on their radio show the next morning. And when the Los Angeles Kings fired Terry Murray and were at the peak of the John Stevens Era... I was on their radio show the next morning. And the day after the Los Angeles Kings beat the 22nd overall team in the NHL 4-0... well... you get the drift. Here is my interview from XM Home Ice from Wednesday morning.
Carter Watch 2012.
In other news... it's IHOP's Annual Free Pancake Day... and that can only mean one thing... BRAND NEW ROYAL HALF T-SHIRTS!!!
The 1st ever T-Shirt collaboration between The Royal Half and IronSight Design.
Since he was traded for Jack Johnson...
please welcome Jeff MutherFucking Carter to the team!
For those that continue to be Jack Johnson fans, we present:
JMFBJ
For those who choose to root for a Los Angeles-based team that actually scores points.
Get them Quick... before he signs with Boston in 1 year.
Check out all of our t-shirts at The Royal Half Gift Shoppe!
MONDAY
Game #63
LA KINGS
28-22-12
68 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
36-19-7
79 pts, 5th in Western Conference
Kings Lead Season Series 1-0
5:00pm, Bridgestone Arena
Nashville, TN
BEST TRADE DEADLINE DEAL BETWEEN BOTH TEAMS:
March 16, 2002 – LA Kings acquire Cliff Ronning from Nashville for
Jere Karalahti and a conditional choice in the 2003 NHL Entry Draft.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
On The Forecheck
Preds On The Glass
TUESDAY
Game #64
LA KINGS
28-22-12
68 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
MINNESOTA WILD
28-25-9
65 pts, 12th in Western Conference
4:30pm, Xcel Energy Center
Saint Paul, MN
TV: NBCSN
BEST TRADE DEADLINE DEAL BETWEEN BOTH TEAMS:
March 5, 1991 – LA Kings acquire Ilkka Sinisalo from Minnesota
for an eighth-round choice (#174-Michael Burkett) in the 1991 NHL Entry Draft.
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Hockey Wilderness
The State of Hockey News
Wild Puck Banter
In the time-honored tradition of The Royal Half Playoff Tracker 3000!!!, The Royal Half Playoff Threat Level Meter and the Terry Murray Fire Watch 2011 comes the latest Royal Half Info-Graphic that will help you track the greatest concern amongst Los Angeles Kings fans at this very moment...
WILL JEFF CARTER OUTSCORE ANSON CARTER?!?
CARTERGEDDON!!!
I wouldn't say that the LA Kings are feeling pretty solid about their playoff hopes after acquiring Jeff Carter for Jack Johnson... but I saw this billboard on the way into work this morning.
Sure, beating a injured Chicago Blackhawks team 4-0 is one thing. Now let's see how the LA Kings v3.0 do against a really awesome Nashville Predators team that got even awesome-er at the Trade Deadline. And against a Minnesota Wild team... well... that sucks. But they did beat the Sharks Sunday night.
While fans love the NHL Trading Deadline, for players, it's especially tough as they have their names tossed back and forth by every expert on Twitter in possible trade scenarios. And while it's hard on the players, it's even more difficult on the Pun Headline Writers of NHL.com who have to consistently stay on top of which player is rumored to be traded to which team. Like for instance, when Dustin Brown was rumored to be available for 15 minutes last Friday, NHL.com reacted with the lightning quick reflexes of a beat reporter who posts on Twitter.
For a while, I totally thought this headline was slang for some sexual maneuver
that Jeff Carter and Mike Richards had pulled off together.
Game #62
LA KINGS
27-22-12
66 pts, 10th in Western Conference
vs
CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS
33-22-7
73 pts, 6th in Western Conference
5:00pm (!), Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
BEST CURRENT KINGS TO PLAY AGAINST THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS IN THE
STANLEY CUP FINALS WHILE PLAYING FOR THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS:
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Blackhawks Down Low
Hockeenight
Second City Hockey
Cheer the Anthem
They say the 3rd time is the charm, right? Or is it 3 strikes and you are out?
1) October 7th, 2011. The start of the NHL season.
2) December 12th, 2011. Terry Murray is fired as Head Coach.
3) February 23rd, 2012. Mike Richards' drinking buddy is traded to LA for Jack Johnson.
Alright boys, it's your turn to take it from here.
Let's see what you got.
So let me see if I'm doing my math correctly here...
+
=
So Dean Lombardi is able to bring in a player with nearly 200 goals in his first 500 games for an expendable defenseman and a #1 pick in either the 2012 or 2013 draft? And this player is best friends with Mike Richards? And he didn't have to trade his backup goalie? Why that's enough to make anyone associated with the Los Angeles Kings smile!
Oh... this is awkward.
I'm fine with this trade. So Jeff Carter is a bad boy. You know what... Bobby Hull was drunk for most of his career. But he put the puck in the net, so who cares? If Jeff Carter comes to LA and can score goals then he can spend his nights clubbing with Brad Richardson for all I care. Because he can do this.
Of course, as LA Kings fans, we have to approach any acquisition for a goal scoring forward carefully. Because everyone thought Dustin Penner would come to LA and score goals non-stop, myself included. But Jeff Carter kinda has a better resume than Dustin Penner, except for that pesky Stanley Cup win when Penner was a rookie. Carter won 2 gold medals at the World Juniors and is tied as Canada's all-time leading scorer for the tournament. In 2005, Carter won a Calder Cup with the Philadelphia Flyers. And he's been a consistent goal scorer his entire career. Oh, and has anyone mentioned... HE'S MIKE RICHARDS BEST FRIEND.
Holy shit, look at that playoff run in the AHL in 2005.
But what kind of a player is Jeff Carter? We asked our Flyers East friend, Flyers Goal Scored By, for the low down on Carter.
I just felt a great disturbance in the force. As if millions of Los Angeles coeds suddenly cried out in pleasure, and were suddenly silenced. Jeff Carter is a Los Angeles King. The Kings traded away a guy that can disappear from his defensive role for a guy that can disappear from his offensive role. A move had to be made to jumpstart the Kings offense, and this will do it. A happy Jeff Carter is a productive Jeff Carter, and nobody makes him happier than Mike Richards. Carter is the caramel whipped cream to Richards BROcchiato. Carter is big, has an excellent, albeit erratic, shot and can play center or wing. He's going to fit right in the way Matt Brody fit into Baywatch. He will disappear in the playoffs, but until then, it'll be a great show in Tinseltown.
So Jeff Carter and Mike Richards are in Tinseltown, huh?
He just doesn't know how to quit Richards.
In terms of what the LA Kings gave up for Jeff Carter and his 11-year contract... I'm totally fine with it. In fact, the bigger loss is now two years in a row without a 1st overall draft pick. There has been an outpouring of stories on the internet today covering exactly how overrated Jack Johnson is as a NHL defenseman. Johnson was labeled a "can't miss" prospect growing up as the poster boy for USA Hockey. But the truth is that Jack Johnson is a slightly above average defenseman who will probably play better in Columbus as the #1 guy instead of the #2 guy in Los Angeles. And if any real LA Kings fan is so distraught over the trading of Jack Johnson... then that person was probably more of a fan of Johnson's cheekbones than his play in the defensive end.
My god they are amazing.
I mean is anyone really surprised that a superstar Los Angeles King center worked with team management to trade for one of his best friends?
Nope.
Let's just hope that this Los Angeles Kings trade deadline deal for Carter is better than the last Los Angeles Kings trade deadline deal for Carter.
15 games as a LA King.
0 goals, 1 assists, 1 points.
What's the most important thing I learned from watching the NBC Sports Network's debut of "Mike Richards NHL36" last night?
That it's someone's job to change out the dressing room nameplates
depending on which jersey the LA Kings are wearing that night.
Out of all the NHL36 series so far, I found last night's edition following Mike Richards for the 36 hours before his game with the Phoenix Coyotes to be the most interesting. And it really showed me that Mike Richards is the kind of guy who wears his passion for his team on his sleeve.
Well, at least he's a fan of winning teams. Right, Drew Doughty?
The show spent the majority of time giving viewers an intimate look into the life of Mike Richards off the ice.
Look, I love Mike Richards as much as the next guy...
but when do we start talking about how every time he's on TV,
Richards is wearing something that basically says "Redneck Rebellion."
NHL36 also provided an intimate look into Mike Richards home life.
Like literally... that's his house. And I'd have to think it'd be pretty easy to find now.
I just wish there was an easier way to know exactly where Mike Richards lives.
The female fan base in Los Angeles thanks you, NBC Sports Network.
NHL36 also gave us a preview of an upcoming new series for HBO.
Worst. Episode. Of Entourage. Ever.
I'm not calling out anyone's masculinity... but I love that Drew Doughty has a white iPhone.
While Richards, Drew Doughty and Trevor Lewis were scarfing down some spicy tuna crispy rice, they had time to participate in one of the LA Kings most popular hazing practices...
Making Andrei Loktionov eat by himself.
But how much footage of Drew Doughty eating sushi with Mike Richards can you really watch? NHL36 also gave us an in-depth look into the Los Angeles Kings organization.
Would you like something to read?
Do you have anything light?
How about this leaflet, "LA Kings Hall of Famers?
NHL36 also took the time to talk with Kings GM, Dean Lombardi, about the impact Mike Richards has had on his team not scoring at all this season and probably putting his job in jeopardy.
Seriously, what local community service award did they have to
drag out of the closet to put in the background of this interview set?
Cause that sure as hell ain't any Pacific Division Champion trophy.
In addition to the hardcore hockey fan, the purpose of the NHL36 series to open up the game to newer fans, especially women. And it seems like NBC Sports Network knows how to appeal to that target audience well.
By showing video of Jon Bernier eating breakfast.
Oceans 14 and Oceans 10.
Only one man can make stripes and patterns play as well together as Jordan Nolan and Dwight King.
For me, a big mystery was solved while watching NHL36 Wednesday night.
Why, yes... Mike Richards does have awful tattoos.
You have to give it to the film crew of NHL36. While it may not be as well-produced or as intimate a look as HBO's 24/7 series is... the producers of NHL36 were able to quickly figure out Darryl Sutter's best side for the camera.
Perfect.
And finally... for all you schoolgirl fetish-types out there...
Mike Richards in knee high socks.
While the NHL36 featuring Mike Richards might have been a hit with the fans... losing the same night to the Colorado Avalanche doesn't have quite the same appeal. I wish there was some way to visually represent what it feels like to be a LA Kings hockey fan the last couple weeks.
Hmm.. almost there.
Nailed it.
The latest "All The Kings Men" Podcast is out. This weeks episode features Podmaster General Jesse Cohen chatting about the past week in LA Kings hockey with myself, Matt Reitz from View from My Seats as well as Matt from Life in Hockeywood. You can check it out here or subscribe to it on iTunes here. You can also listen to the most recent All The Kings Men episode below:
TUESDAY
Game #60
LA KINGS
27-21-11
65 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
PHOENIX COYOTES
29-21-9
63 pts, 7th in Western Conference
Kings Lead Season Series (3-2)
7:00pm, Jobing.com Arena
Phoenix, AZ
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Five For Howling
Hipchecks
Yotesgurl
WEDNESDAY
Game #61
LA KINGS
27-21-11
65 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
COLORADO AVALANCHE
29-27-4
62 pts, 11th in Western Conference
Colorado Leads Season Series (3-0)
6:00pm, Pepsi Center
Denver, CO
BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:
BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Jibblescribbits
Hockey Without Oxygen
Mile High Hockey
Bad Altitude Hockey
On February 18th, 2012... the following quote appeared on the front page of The Royal Half:
"Until the LA Kings score a goal, I'm only doing two things on this blog:
1) Posting screengrabs of Darryl Sutter looking like a monkey
2) Posting screengrabs of Mike Richards dressed like a hipster"
Here is the source for that monkey picture
lest you think I manipulated it.
Okay... Mike Richards isn't dressed like a hipster here.
But you gotta admit... he's come a long way.
Right, Kyle Clifford?
