The final All The Kings Men Podcast of the 2011-2012 Regular Season comes in 3... count them 3 different flavors!

There is the Full Length version which includes a Sharks-Kings preview with Jason Plank from Fear The Fin and a conversation with Meg Jarrell from Kings Court. There is the Abridged Version which does not feature the conversation with Fear the Fin... so screw those guys from Northern California.  Or, if you love Northern California you can listen to "The Other Half - Sharks" for the conversation with Fear the Fin by itself.

Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen to FULL LENGTH SHOW below.

Game #81

LA KINGS
40-27-13
93 pts, 3rd in Western Conference
vs
SAN JOSE SHARKS
41-29-10
92 pts, 8th in Western Conference

Season Series Tied 2-2

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
PRIME TICKET

BEST PLAYERS FROM THE 1991 SMYTHE DIVISION CHAMPION TEAM TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Fear the Fin
Battle of California

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES.

Holy shit... Game 81. The last regular season home game for the Los Angeles Kings. Let's be honest, if the Kings lose both of their games against the San Jose Sharks Thursday and Saturday... it could be their last home game of the 2011-2012 NHL Season. I can't stand Northern California and that means I can't stand the Grateful Dead... but wow... what a long, strange trip this season's been. And now the LA Kings only need 1 point to make the playoffs and if they win both these games against the Sharks they'll probably win their 1st Division Title since 1991. You all remember 1991, right?

"They watched together Friday night: Bruce McNall, the man who brought Wayne Gretzky to Los Angeles, and Gretzky, the man who was the key to bringing the Kings the first division title in their 24-year history.

And when it was over, when the Edmonton Oilers had beaten the Calgary Flames, 6-5, in overtime, to eliminate the Flames from the division race and hand the Smythe title to the Kings, they both spoke from McNall's home.

"I'm excited to bring the first Smythe Division championship to Los Angeles," McNall said "This is the first step toward the ultimate goal, to bring a Stanley Cup to the many fans. I'm proud of all the players, coaches and staff for what they have done to provide a championship."

Gretzky said he was "extremely excited to finish first. We worked hard all year to achieve this goal. Whether we play Edmonton or Vancouver in the first round is not the biggest reason for finishing first. It was to get pride, tradition and history started for this organization. That was the most important reason. Eventually, you've got to play the best team to win the Cup anyway."

Dave Taylor, finishing his 14th season as a King, dedicated this first title to "all of the players who have worn Kings colors over the years."

Oh hello, my youth.

So what were the current LA Kings players doing in 1991 while the LA Kings were clinching the Smythe Division?

1 year-old Drew Doughty was wearing out his tape player listening to Ten.

4 month-old Kyle Clifford was getting the inspiration for the man he'd become today.

Dean Lombardi was getting on-the-job training as the assistant general manager
to Jack Ferreira for the expansion San Jose Sharks.

8 year-old Dustin Penner was jerking off to Blossom.

And two 6 year-old boys learned what it means to be best friends.

Just get a point tonight, Kings. And try not to have to play Vancouver in the 1st Round. Or St. Louis.

It's a brand-new episode of All The Kings Men where Podmaster General Jesse Cohen and myself take a look at tonight's big match-up between the Los Angeles Kings and Edmonton Oilers with Scott Reynolds from the notorious Jack Johnson Hating Blog, The Copper & Blue.

Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below.

Game #80

LA KINGS
39-27-13
91 pts, 3rd in Western Conference
vs
EDMONTON OILERS
32-38-9
73 pts, 14th in Western Conference

Oilers lead Season Series 2-1

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
PRIME TICKET

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT IF HE HAD STAYED WITH THE KINGS
THIS SEASON HE WOULD BE THE KINGS 4TH OVERALL SCORER AND TIED FOR 3RD IN GOALS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
JeanShorts and BaggedMilk
Oilers Nation
Oilers Jambalaya
Lowetide

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES.

It's another Monday night game for the Los Angeles Kings... and I'm totally unprepared for a Gameday Thread. Thankfully, Brigitte over at One Girl, One Puck has a brand-new edition of her column that is sweeping Kings Nation... "Know Your Opponent." And with this weeks post, we now know that Brigitte is a perfect fit for The Royal Half... because she makes fun of Indiana Matt!!!

Click Here to Check Out "Know Your Opponent" for the Kings vs Oilers Game on Monday, April 2nd!!!

Game #78

LA KINGS
38-27-12
88 pts, 8th in Western Conference
vs
EDMONTON OILERS
31-37-9
71 pts, 14th in Western Conference

Oilers lead Season Series 2-0

6:30pm, Rexall Place
Edmonton, AB
FSW

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
JeanShorts and BaggedMilk
Oilers Nation
Oilers Jambalaya
Lowetide

SATURDAY

Game #79

LA KINGS
38-27-12
88 pts, 8th in Western Conference
(a/o Friday)
vs
MINNESOTA WILD
32-35-10
74 pts, 13th in Western Conference
(a/o Friday) 

Kings lead Season Series 2-1

5:00pm, Xcel Energy Center
St. Paul, MN
FSW

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Hockey Wilderness
The State of Hockey News
Wild Puck Banter

BEST LA KINGS TRADE ACQUISITION TO HURT HIS ANKLE:

Hmm... almost.

Nailed it.

I'm not so much worried about what Jeff Carter being out of the Los Angeles Kings lineup for the next 2 games means for their playoff hopes... I'm more worried about what it means for Mike Richards' psyche.

This is what I imagine Mike Richards' Thursday night in his Edmonton hotel room looked like:

And this is what I imagine Mike Richards' drive Friday night to the arena in Edmonton will look like:

And this is what I imagine Mike Richards' post-game shower will look like:

But instead of the swastika it would be the logo for Rednex Rebellion.
And honestly... this is probably more like Trevor Lewis' post-game shower. 

It's a brand-new episode of All The Kings Men with Podcaster General, Jesse Cohen, Matt from Life In Hockeywood and myself talking the LA Kings Western Canada Road Trip and if they can sneak into the Playoffs. Joe Yerdon from NBC's Pro Hockey Talk stops by to discuss the fate of the teams in the Western Conference and to discuss what fans outside of LA think of some of the Kings. And we are also joined by our new friend... awful clicking noise.

Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below.

Game #77

LA KINGS
37-27-12
86 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
CALGARY FLAMES
35-27-15
85 pts, 11th in Western Conference

Flames lead Season Series 3-1

6:30pm, Scotiabank Saddledome
Calgary, AB
FSW

BEST BROTHERS STRUGGLING TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Matchsticks and Gasoline
Book of Loob
Dome Beers
Flames Nation

A few minutes before the Los Angeles Kings-Vancouver Canucks game this past Monday, Indiana Matt tweeted the following:

And then also this:

Even though I know that the "Sedins as Sisters bit" is totally overplayed, I re-tweeted it to all my followers since it's important to keep Indiana Matt's confidence up since he's a delicate flower when it comes to his Photoshops. So after I re-tweeted both of Indiana Matt's tweets... the internet acted totally appropriately:

I love that this Sedin Sisters joke was so offensive to someone that they felt my blog had let them down.
Obviously they've never ever, ever, ever read my site before.
And I'm sure this young woman only tweets with the utmost social responsibility, right?

Right.

Wait a second... did someone just call me a "super-testosteroney sports guy"?!?
I'm not sure these people who follow me on Twitter really know the kind of guy I am after all.
I mean... I've made Jonathan Adler jokes on this blog before.

Okay... this is taking it way to far now!!!
How dare you insult me by reminding me that Manny Malhotra scored against my favorite NHL team!!!

Okay... this person might have the most valid criticism.

Thankfully... a bunch of complete strangers that follow me on Twitter stepped up to protect my honor. And if they were tweeting from Canada... my honour. 

Okay... he's got a point here.

Just to be clear... we weren't making fun of the Sedin Brothers because we think they are girlie... we were making fun of them because they are soft Europeans. The best part about this Sedin Sisters Twitter-troversy is that on the same day as all these tweets we posted probably the most anti-male article we've every published here at The Royal Half. Right, Brigitte?

She really has a gift for the English language, doesn't she?

So... in an effort to not be offensive (no... not "un-offensive" like the LA Kings have been all season... "unoffensive" like we don't want to hurt your feelings) Indiana Matt and I have made a promise to not post or Photoshop anything that anyone (especially fans of the Los Angeles Kings) won't like.

Game #76

LA KINGS
37-26-12
86 pts, 8th in Western Conference
vs
VANCOUVER CANUCKS
45-21-9
99 pts, 2nd in Western Conference

Kings lead Season Series 2-1

7:00pm, Rogers Arena
Vancouver, BC
NBC SN
FSW 

BEST KINGS PLAYER FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WON A DIVISION
WHO LATER SMASHED A CANUCK IN THE HEAD WITH HIS STICK:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG THAT I'VE ATTENDED A PLAYOFF GAME WITH IN PERSON:
Benched Whale

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Canucks Army
Nucks Misconduct
Pucked in the Head
Pass It to Bulis

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES!

Last week we debuted our newest column from Brigitte over at One Girl, One Puck where she previewed the LA Kings matchup against the San Jose Sharks. And I have to say... it was very well-received!

Obnoxious is just another word for good, right?

So since I was totally unprepared for a Monday night game... I've included Brigitte's latest "Know Your Opponent" into today's Gameday Thread. God help us all.

Click Here to Check Out "Know Your Opponent" for the Kings vs Canucks Game on Monday, March 26!!!

Game #75

LA KINGS
37-25-12
86 pts, 3rd (!) in Western Conference
vs
BOSTON BRUINS
42-28-3
87 pts, 2nd in Eastern Conference

Bruins lead Season Series 1-0

6:00pm (!), Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT COACHED THE BRUINS
AND MISSED THE PLAYOFFS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 29 YEARS
WHILE BENCHING CAM NEELY AND KEVIN STEVENS FOR AN ENTIRE GAME:

ONLY OPPOSITION BLOG:
Days of Y'orr

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES!

Today... March 24th 2012, is the latest in a season that the Los Angeles Kings have been 1st in their division since 1990-1991 when the Kings were 3 points up on the Calgary Flames on their way to winning the Smythe... which of course was the only time in their 44 year history the Kings have won a division title.

Nothing's changed a bit, huh?
Holy shit, look at those "Goals For" stats across the board.

This is a much different Los Angeles Kings team than the one that faced the Boston Bruins on December 12, 2011 in John Steven's first game as LA Kings Interim Head Coach. Sure, we can talk about how this team is 10-3 since Jack Johnson was traded for Jeff Carter. How the team's average goal scoring has risen from 2.02 per game to 3.5. How Anze Kopitar has 14 points in these past 13 games and heck... how even Dustin Penner has 3 points in his last 3 games. But the biggest change for these Los Angeles Kings hasn't been Jeff Carter's affect on the scoresheet... it's been his influence in the dressing room.

That's right. Jeff Carter and his frosted tips have spread like wildfire throughout the Los Angeles Kings organization and they are what has this team on its season-high 6 game winning streak of the season. And when I say everyone in the LA Kings organization... I mean EVERYONE.

So as the LA Kings make a push not only for the playoffs, but for their 2nd Division Title in 44 seasons... let us start planning to support this team in the playoffs the only way we know how.

By frosting our playoff beards.

Besides... looking and acting like a team full of complete douches has worked really well in the past for other franchises, hasn't it?

UPDATE:
It looks like the LA Kings are capitalizing on Jeff Carter's popularity. Indiana Matt saw this ad while eating lunch at Hooters in Burbank today:

It's a brand-new episode of All The Kings Men with Podcaster General, Jesse Cohen, Matt from Life In Hockeywood and myself talking the LA Kings 5 game win-streak, the beast mode of Anze Kopitar and how the new NHL Stanley Cup ads offend our very being. Plus, we are joined by Brad Lee from the great St. Louis Blues blog St. Louis Game Time to talk tonight's matchup and reminiscence about Wayne Gretzky's 21 games as a Blue.

It just looks right.

Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below.

Also, be sure to listen to this past Monday's episode of All The Kings Men that I forgot to put on the blog where Jesse, Matt and I talk about the concept of the "Bandwagon Fan." Check it out here.