As you may know, we here at The Royal Half are kinda fascinated with the Los Angeles Kings Marketing Department and their various campaigns. Well, add another form of media to the list of Kings Marketing Outreach as Tipster Doug sent in this photo taken this morning on one of Los Angeles' great freeways.

Now I know what I'm getting for my next car. 

As the Kings continue their march from bottom dwellers in the Western Conference to Champions of the Pacific, I see no better product tie-in than a giant Kopitar billboard on the side and back of a moving van. Unless.... wait, you don't think the Kings are quietly moving to Winnipeg or Quebec City after tonight's game against the Calgary Flames, do you? I did see one of these trucks last week, but it was heading east on the 10. 

The Kings take on the Flames tonight at Staples. Be sure to check out The 4th Line Blog and Matchsticks and Gasoline, for all your news and notes Calgary. I'm sure we'll be hearing from these guys a bunch as soon as Darryl Sutter gets off his lazy ass and trades Iginla to the Kings. 

There is a new t-shirt up in The Royal Half Gift Shoppe, designed by Indiana's own Indiana Matt. It's the perfect gift for the person in your life that loves Slovakia and mullets. 

Check out the rest of the t-shirts here. Now in women's sizes. You know, for women!

Well, you stop writing about the great pun-filled headlines of NHL.com for just 2 weeks and all of a sudden your favorite NHL hockey team tumbles from 1st place in the Western Conference to 11th place. So message received, NHL.com. If I keep writing about pun headlines, the Los Angeles Kings will continue to win. And let's be honest, the pun headlines of NHL.com are so great why would I want to go 2 weeks without writing about them. In fact, if I had to describe the past 2 weeks of pun headlines in only one word...

Okay, maybe one other word.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

You want to know what is wrong with America? People are just sitting back and not saying anything when some foreign country comes in and starts taking over one of our most precious commodities... overtime hockey!

That's right, fellow Americans. Los Angeles Kings Overtime is now sponsored by Air Canada.

You can't see it in the first photo, but there are tiny red Air Canada Maple Leafs in the background when the HD Scoreboard puts up the "Overtime" graphic. And since this was the first time all season the Kings had gone into overtime at home... the Kings ad sales exec who closed the deal with Air Canada was starting to get a little nervous. So how can we keep our neighbors from the north from taking over the US, one overtime at a time? Sounds like a job for a superhero.

Why, yes. I do believe I can fly. 

Kings 3, Red Wings 2

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It's December and you know what that means! Gifts! Gifts up the ass! So surprise the Los Angeles Kings fan in your life with a t-shirt that visually represents how awful the search for a franchise goaltender has been!

I call it "Los Angeles Kings Goalies since Kelly Hrudey."

That's right... myself, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and Indiana Matt have created some t-shirts. Come to The Royal Half Gift Shoppe and purchase them just in time for the holidays.  

And what's that? You have a loved one that is both a Los Angeles Kings fan and a New Jersey Devils fan? Well have we got the t-shirt for you!

In a span of 12 hours, the Los Angeles Kings traded for an injured player and then were surprised when he didn't pass a physical. Then, they went out and barely beat an NHL team with a 10-13 record whose leading goal scorer is someone named Mike Santorelli. So in an effort to put a halt to the negative publicity they received during the day... the Kings Marketing Department went ahead and introduced it's brand new broadcast team... featuring one of the most hated Kings player ever.

I, for one, want to state that I am a fan of Rob Blake's time as a Los Ange...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

Kings 3, Panthers 2

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Welcome to Los Angeles, Marco Sturm. I know why you waived your No Trade Clause to come play here... because you'll fit right in!!

See ya in a few weeks! You know, when you are actually able to play.

UPDATED: Apparently there is a new NHL rule this season, in order to play for a team, you actually have to be able to play.

"It's only a flesh wound!"

The Los Angeles Kings record with the stupid fucking mustaches...5-7-0. The Los Angeles Kings record without the stupid fucking mustaches.. 8-3-0. Thank god November is over. 



Hmm, a mustached Drew Doughty and Michal Handzus remind me of someone... who could it be?

And as britlovesmusic pointed out tonight...

Brad Richardson is straight outta Super Troopers.

I know this sounds horrible, but Pancreatic Cancer... you are cramping my style. Shave those fucking mustaches now and let's move into December. Which as any Kings fan knows... is usually a disaster of a month. I mean, those stupid fucking mustaches just must make it impossible for any NHL player to succeed, right?

Oh.
The Selanne Stache sounds like some sort of sexual maneuver.

Florida is in on Thursday, that should be a great chance.... aw, who gives a fuck. It doesn't matter. Season is over. Until the Kings win their next game at least.

Two Girls. One Cup. 
Sigh.  

Forget about the Los Angeles Kings dismal performance Saturday night against the Chicago Blackhawks, a game in which the Kings found themselves losers of 6 of the last 7 and slipping out of the top 8 in the Western Conference for the first time this season... forget it because Kings Captain, Dustin Brown, is on the internet!!!

Courtesy of The Royal Half's Head Joke Writer....
The Top 5 Jokes about Dustin Brown dancing on stage during "Yo Gabba Gabba Live!"

And then just a few hours after performing with one of the biggest hits in children's television, Dustin Brown did this. 

Blackhawks 2, Kings 1

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Edmonton Oilers Superfan (and slowly becoming Los Angeles Kings Semi-Fan) JeanShorts and Bagged Milk commented to me recently that it seems like the NHL is trying to keep Ryan Smyth from reviving his career as it seems that every single one of his goals this year has come under video review. Well, last nights game in Ottawa proved that this conspiracy may be deeper than just trying to keep Captain Canada down.

"Hey Tim, I'm still fucking pissed about this whole Colin Campbell thing."

"Yeah, but what are we gonna do about it, eh?"

"Hmm, did Campbell ever play for LA?"

"No."

"Yeah, but doesn't he live in LA with all those homos and liberals?"

"No, he lives in New York."

"Same thing. No Goal."

"Um, Eric... I don't think you can do that."

"I said no goal."

Senators 3, Kings 2, Tim & Eric, Awesome Job!