Jabby Jobber

Written by The Royal Half on .

Just before the Los Angeles Kings lost to the Pittsburgh Penguins in Kansas City on Wednesday, I chatted with the guys over at The Pensblog on their brand new radio show. And judging from the reactions of Pensblog Nation... I think I did pretty, pretty, pretty good.

I have to think it was a little bit better than that Jonah Hill interview. You can listen to my interview with Pensblog here or click the podcast below. I start at the 10 minute mark just after one of the most beloved Pittsburgh Penguins fans talks about his recent battle with cancer. How's that for a lead in?

Listen to internet radio with TPBradio on Blog Talk Radio

 

And while we are fellating the Pensblog... be sure to check out their awesome Fantasy Hockey League called Rinkotology

All the info about it is located here. So sign up there instead of using those lame-ass ESPN and Yahoo leagues. Besides, remember... if you support the Pensblog, you'll be supporting one of the biggest Royal Half fans there is. 

TRH Gameday: Are You High... Altitude?

Written by The Royal Half on .

Pre-season Game #5

LA Kings vs Colorado Avalanche
6pm, Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:


BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:

Jibblescribbits

One of my favorite games to play in the pre-season is "What the Hell Line is That?" Luckily, thanks to Coach Murray's constant tweaking... this is a game most Los Angeles Kings fans also get to play during the regular season. So imagine how excited I was when I got my latest issue of Rich Hammond's Kings Insider delivered to my doorstep (what, you guys don't get home delivery?) and it showed me the 3rd line for tonight's pre-season game in Denver.

King-Azevedo-Moreau

So you've got former 1st line Left Winger, Dwight King...

"Hey Jeff Halpern!! You once played 1st Line Wing for the Kings too!! Weird!"

5'8" sparkplug center, Justin Azevedo...

"Hey Justin, there's only room on this team for one player with a spanish last name."

"Umm. I'm Portuguese."

"Same thing."

And at Left Wing, Ethan Moreau...

The last time Ethan Moreau scored an NHL goal.

Actually, I'm kinda glad this game isn't being streamed on the internets tonight.... because the 2nd line is Brad Richardson, Trevor Lewis and Trent Hunter. 

TRH Gameday: Misery in Missouri

Written by The Royal Half on .

Pre-season Game #4

LA Kings vs Pittsburgh Penguins
5pm, Sprint Center
Kansas City, Missouri 

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:

The Pensblog.
(EDITORS NOTE: The Pensblog is actually the best blog, opposing or not.)

So you are a diehard hockey fan in Kansas City, Missouri. Sure, AEG took a huge gamble in building a rink in the hopes that if they built it, they may come. But they didn't. Instead they stayed in Pittsburgh and moved back to Winnipeg. (Actually, it turns out that AEG may not have been taking such a huge risk in building the Sprint Center.) So as that previously mentioned diehard hockey fan in Kansas City... what do you do? You settle for the 2nd best thing... NHL pre-season hockey. And the chance to see your two favorite NHL stars in action... live!

Taken in Kansas City from the Jumbotron outside
the Sprint Center by mega Kings fan, @s0nn.

Or not. 

"Drew... you gonna be in Kansas City?!?"

"No effin' way. I'm holding out just so I won't have to go there!!!"

"I'm retired!!!"

The game Tuesday night is sold out. And it's the highest attendance ever for a pre-season game*!!! 

*The highest attendance for a 2011 pre-season game at a neutral, non-NHL venue site in North America that is. 

All of Kansas City is abuzz with hockey fever... even Kansas City Star sportswriter, Randy Covitz, took the time to sit down and preview Tuesday nights pre-season matchup between the Kings and the Penguins. 

“We’re playing one of the premier teams in the game, too,” said Kings coach Bryan Murray. “The fact they’re coming in with a good lineup, it’s in the middle of camp and everybody is starting to move some of their younger players to the minors, we’re looking forward to seeing how our remaining players in camp compete.”

(Here is a screengrab in case it gets fixed.)

I just assumed that Randy Covitz had fired Terry Murray (like most of the Kings fans have already) and replaced him with his much less likeable brother, Bryan. 

I view Bryan and Terry Murray's relationship as brothers similar to the one in Backdraft.
In the sense that they are both Donald Sutherland

Okay fine... so no Crosby and no Doughty. No big deal, right? At least the rest of the Kings stars are playing. RIGHT?!?

Nope. I'm gonna sit this one out, guys.

Nope.

No way in hell.

That's right, Scott "Scooter" Parse, for the 2nd season in a row has been handed a starting Right Wing spot in the Los Angeles Kings lineup... and has pretty much blown it. When the pre-season started, never in my wildest imagination did I think I'd ever hear the phrase "and at Right Wing for the Kings, Trent Hunter." If Trent Hunter keeps up with Mike Richards and Dustin Penner on the top line Tuesday night in Kansas City... you may be hearing that phrase more than you'd ever believe. 

"Wait... that guy over there? That dude is getting time on the top line instead of me?"

Only 3 more pre-season games before that debauchery of mankind Saturday night known as Frozen Fury. And then the boys board a plane and meet me in Europe. Is this the game where the Kings get their pre-season act together?

Season Preview: Communication

Written by The Royal Half on .

Forget about head shots... don't worry about rising salaries... nevermind all the players who are diving... it's obvious that the biggest threat to the NHL right now is the players' ability to communicate directly with their fans via social messaging. 

"OMG... I can't believe @theroyalhalf just said that!!!"

The NHL recently made sure that players were 100% aware that they should not be tweeting before, during and after games. And as the Los Angeles Kings head into the 2011-2012 season, this new rule impacts the team tremendously. Communication is an important part of any professional sports team... both on and off the playing field. So no Season Preview would be complete without taking an in-depth look at the Los Angeles Kings players who tweet on a regular basis and then predicting what they will be tweeting about during the regular season. Because as we all know... these NHL players have a lot of important things to say.

Click here to read The Royal Half's Season Preview of Los Angeles Kings Player Tweets!!!

GameDay: Prospective

Written by The Royal Half on .

Ahhh... the smell of the first game of the pre-season. Sure, it doesn't matter in the standings... you can't watch it on TV... and there is no way I'd spend actual money to go to it... but for most Los Angeles Kings fans it's the best way to see some of the amazing young stars for your favorite team in action. Right?

Aww... who cares about pre-season anyway? At least one of the newest King acquisitions, Simon Gagne, seems to already be in mid-season form.

What say you? Is anyone heading to Staples Center for the game tonight?

Pundays: Holding Out for the Winner

Written by The Royal Half on .

Well, the Pundays Finals have come and gone... and our search for the best NHL.com Pun Headline has taken us on quite the journey... if we had more time we'd create an amazing video montage that looked back at the past year in Pun Headlines. Aww, who are we kidding? We are nerd hockey bloggers... we have all the time in the world!

Click here to see the winner of the 2010-2011 Pundays Playoffs!!!

Short Term Memory, Long Term Contract

Written by The Royal Half on .

So it seems that instead of participating in his 4th NHL training camp, 21 year old defenseman Drew Doughty will be participating in his 1st NHL holdout. As a professional athlete, it's completely in Doughty's right to stand his ground in terms of what he and his representation deem is fair payment for his services. But try telling that to the Los Angeles Kings faithful. For the first time in what seems forever, the Kings have put together a team that is expected not just to win... but to go deep into the playoffs while winning. And the excitement that Kings fans should be feeling coming into the start of Training Camp has been completely dampened. In fact, some fans are not taking too kindly to Doughty's decision to skip team physicals tomorrow in El Segundo. Doughty is losing a lot of fans... fast. They are pissed at him for not signing. They are questioning his desire... they are planning his trade out of LA... they are calling him fat. But most of all... they hate Drew Doughty

Come on, is this the face of a guy who wants to screw over his team?

So let's see... a young Kings defenseman who just completed his 3rd season in Los Angeles. Decides to holdout for the amount of money he feels he's worth. Fans get furious with the contract negotiations and even though the player eventually re-signs, he is never able to regain their trust and support for the remainder of his career. Where have I heard this old yarn before?

That's right... in 1999 the former Kings Captain and incredibly beloved defenseman, Mattias Norstrom, held out from training camp demanding a salary of 1.7 million a year for 4 years. 27 years old and coming off his 3rd season in LA, Norstrom was seeking a raise from the $950,000 he had earned the year prior. Now, there was no Twitter in 1999... heck, there was barely a NHL.com... but I can remember that a lot of the same hatred from fans that is being thrown towards Drew Doughty now was tossed towards Mattias Norstrom then. From September 5th, 1999:

Neither winger Glen Murray nor defenseman Mattias Norstrom reported for physical evaluations and a team meeting Saturday, but both have been invited to the Kings' training camp, which begins today at Iceoplex at North Hills.

Neither is expected to RSVP in the affirmative.

"I'm going to wait until I sign a contract, and I've talked with [Norstrom] and I don't think he's going either," said Murray. "This is the first time [missing training camp] for me and I don't know how it's going to be. But if they want me, just sign me.

The Kings are trying to sign both to three-year deals, but both sides of each negotiation were at least $1 million apart over the three years as last week began. A flurry of proposals back and forth has narrowed both gaps enough for Dave Taylor, the Kings' senior vice president and general manager, to issue the invitations, but not enough for them to be accepted.

Norstrom didn't show up for training camp that season. And in fact, the two sides remained far apart during all of the preseason:

Mattias Norstrom is an incurable optimist. He still holds out hope of being on the ice in Nashville when the Kings open their season Saturday night.

It won't happen, barring several changes of heart and a transfer of funds, but the Kings are talking with Norstrom's agent about a contract, and that's a change in itself.

And King Coach Andy Murray is talking with Norstrom.

Murray said Wednesday he had spoken with the unsigned defenseman for the first time and told him "we needed to get him here for a few days of practice before he could play; and that I would have loyalty to the guys that we have here. I'd love to have him in the lineup."

Norstrom and the Kings have been negotiating since July without making real progress. Exchanges of three-year deals were far apart, and a one-year, $1.3-million offer from Norstrom was countered by a one-year, $1.045-million rebuttal by the Kings. And then there was silence.

Now that has been broken. There has been no concrete offer, but the Kings are talking about a four-year deal.

"I feel now for the first time that I can be optimistic," Norstrom said. "Now is the time to get creative on both sides."

Norstrom, who is popular with his teammates and respected because of his work ethic, has drawn support from them. Dave Taylor, the Kings' senior vice president and general manager, has taken time to talk with team leaders--among them Rob Blake, Norstrom's defense partner, and Luc Robitaille--to explain the team's stance in the negotiations.

Blake, who was extremely critical of that stance a week ago, was subdued Wednesday.

"What was said was between [Taylor] and me," Blake said. "It doesn't matter if I understand [the Kings' position] or not. My say isn't going to change anything. We need him. That's the bottom line."

Come on, is this the face of a guy who wants to screw over his team?

And much like what will probably happen with Drew Doughty... on the Friday before the 1999-2000 NHL season started... Mattias Norstrom signed a 4 year, 6.6 million dollar contract. And that bad-ass, bald Swede was ready to play the next day:

Norstrom, who had said at midweek he still believed he would be ready to play in the Kings' opener tonight if he and the team could reach a fiscal accord, put himself in a position to do just that Friday when he signed a four-year, $6.6-million contract.

"I think it went OK," Norstrom said of the practice and his first attempt at getting used to a new system. "I had a lot of help."

"I had skated with Long Beach all week, and they're getting ready for their season so I skated in game-type situations," Norstrom said. "That helped me be as ready as I can be."

Whether it's ready enough to play tonight was a topic of discussion by coaches Friday night.

"It's a tough decision," King Coach Andy Murray said of Norstrom playing in the season opener after missing training camp and all eight exhibitions.

"He's ready to go. The guys know he's in the top three defensemen, but is it the right thing to do as a coach? We've got to think about this one."

Norstrom has occasionally despaired at his contract situation after the Kings offered a three-year, $3.65-million deal, then a one-year, $1.045 arrangement. He had come down from his original $1.7 average over three seasons to a one-year deal worth $1.3 million.

"I just wanted to get into training camp," he said. "I told Donnie Meehan [his agent] that I'm ready to start playing hockey."

Take a long hard look at that last line from the Los Angeles Times article dated October 2nd, 1999. I don't think anyone should doubt now that Drew Doughty is going to get the money/years he and his management want. 

"You see all these jerseys around me? Each one is made of solid gold.
That's how fucking rich I make NHL players.

So back to those fans that cursed Mattias Norstrom for holding out and demanding more money. How did that turn out?

Yeah, I'd say the fans forgave Norstrom.

I mean, you don't earn a fan rally towel unless the fans love you. FACT.

So Los Angeles Kings fans can scream for Drew Doughty's head all they want... because when he's back on the ice all of us will have forgotten about the holdout. Just like we did with Matty Norstrom. And if you are going to boo Drew Doughty when he returns to the Kings lineup... it's not like it's gonna make a difference.

Back in White

Written by The Royal Half on .

Guess who's back? 

NHL Training Camp starts today. And what better way to kick off the week then to read my ramblings about the Los Angeles Kings and their place in Fantasy Hockey over at the always awesome Fantasy Hockey Scouts. Check out the 3rd (!) year of my Blogger's Breakouts for the Kings here

When I'm talking about fantasy breakouts
I'm not talking about Drew Doughty's acne.

And while you are there, check out FHS's incredible Fantasy Breakout Bible.... it's just a few bucks and can make all the difference in your fantasy hockey pool. 

Pundays: PhiLAdelphia

Written by The Royal Half on .

The 1st Edition of the Pundays Playoffs, where we are holding a Stanley Cup style playoff to determine the best NHL.com pun headline of the 2010-2011 season, is almost over. And it's a shame that the 2 teams that are featured in the Finals have no connection with each other whatsoever....

It's a Philadelphia vs Los Angeles Pundays Final... and that's enough to make Dean Lombardi smile!

If he was physically capable of smiling, that is.

Regardless of who wins this epic Finals battle... there is one place that the players of the Kings and Flyers will always end up...

Click here to vote in the Pundays Cup Finals for the best NHL.com pun headlines from the past season!!!

Podcast Hero

Written by The Royal Half on .

Jon from Puckin' Eh, a Toronto Maple Leafs blog, asked me to sit in on the latest episode of his podcast. Chris from The Program is also on the show where we talk about everything from Doc Emrick's drinking problem to the current plight of the Edmonton Oilers. You can listen over at Puckin' Eh, on  iTunes, or even download it to your computer. And if you are super lazy... just listen to it below!

Listen to internet radio with PuckinEh on Blog Talk Radio

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