TRH Gameday 40 - Colorado Avalanche: The Stuff Legends are Made Of

Written by The Royal Half on .

Game #40

LA Kings 
(19-14-6, 12th in NHL)
vs
Colorado Avalanche
(21-18-1, 17th in NHL)

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

WORST PLAYER TO BE HONORED AS A KINGS LEGEND:

This might be a surprise to Kings fans...
but this is where Daryl Evans spent most of his time as a LA King. 

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Jibblescribbits (Even though he doesn't really blog anymore)
Hockey Without Oxygen

Anyone But Detroit (Even though he doesn't really blog anymore)
Mile High Hockey
Bad Altitude Hockey

So tonight the Los Angeles Kings are honoring Radio Color Analyst, Daryl Evans, as a LA Kings Legend. But there's one problem... Daryl Evans actually wasn't very good as a player for the LA Kings. In fact... he was kinda awful.

Wanna know why Evans only played 11 games in 2 seasons for the Kings from 1983-1985? Because he was skating for the Kings minor league team at the time, the New Haven Nighthawks.

An artist's rendering of Daryl Evans as a Nighthawk.

Daryl Evans had 160 points in 169 games for the Nighthawks and is the 11th all-time leading scorer for the minor league franchise. But let's be honest... if it were not for 1 goal in Daryl Evans career, there is no way he'd be honored tonight. But oh man... what a goal it was.

So yes, Daryl Evans is being honored as a "LA Kings Legend" because he scored the winning goal in the Miracle on Manchester, a moment that looms large in Kings playoff history because the Kings eliminated the heavily favored Edmonton Oilers in 5 games. And what did the Kings do with all the momentum from that stunning upset? They went on to lose to the Vancouver Canucks in the 2nd round, 4-1. Daryl Evans was eventually traded to the Washington Capitals and then signed as a free agent with Toronto, playing a total of 8 more NHL games. Evans is now in his 13th season as the Radio Color Analyst for the Kings and is known around the Kings community as the guy who dresses a lot like Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of Daryl Evans and the work he does for the Kings, both in the broadcast booth and off the ice. But really... a "Legend"? I'm not really sure if he fits in a group with Rogie Vachon, Bob Berry, Bob Pulford, Bernie Nicholls and Charlie Simmer. If scoring 1 important playoff goal is the new marker for what makes a "Legend" in the history of an overall disappointing franchise, then I'd like to submit the 3 front-runners for the 2012-2013 LA Kings Legends Nights.

CHRIS KONTOS

Amazing photo via ChrisKontos.com.
I love any photo that has Wayne Gretzky wearing the "A." 

Sure, we may have an unhealthy obsession with Chris Kontos here at The Royal Half... but the numbers don't lie. An amazing playoff run in 1989 with 9 goals in 11 games. A record 6 Power Play goals in 1 NHL Playoff series. And much like the Daryl Evans-led Kings team of 1982... a 2nd Round Playoff loss to the Calgary Flames in 4 games. I mean, Chris Kontos just SCREAMS LA Kings Legend! In fact, just ask Don Cherry, who thinks Chris Kontos is a great Canadian boy.

TODD ELIK

April 10th, 1990... on the 8th Anniversary of the Miracle on Manchester, the Los Angeles Kings beat the Calgary Flames in the 4th game of their 1st round series, 12-4. Dave Taylor, Tony Granato and Tomas Sandstrom all had hat tricks, an NHL playoff record. (You can watch this game in it's entirety by downloading it from iTunes here. What a time we live in!) Dubbed the Massacre on Manchester, LA Kings rookie center, Todd Elik, had a goal and 3 assists which tied a Franchise Playoff Record for Points by a Rookie. Who does Elik share the record with? Daryl Evans, of course. Todd Elik also owns the Franchise Playoff Record for points in a series by a Kings rookie with 8. Elik played 122 games with the Kings, totalling 91 points before being traded to the Minnesota North Stars (!) for Randy Gilhen, Jim Thomson, and a fourth-round draft pick which eventually became Alexei Zhitnik. And guess what? Todd Elik just retired from playing professional hockey at the age of 43 after his final season with Thurgau of the Swiss-B league where he had 18 points in 13 games.

Todd Elik is still #1 in the hearts of LA Kings fans.

DARRELL EVANS

From Wikipedia:

Darrell Evans became the first player to hit 40 home runs in both leagues, and at 38 became the oldest player ever to lead the league in home runs. Evans hit over 20 home runs in 10 different seasons and drew over 100 walks 5 times, with a career high 126 in 1974. In 1988 he hit his 400th home run, becoming the 22nd player to reach that milestone. He retired after having joined Reggie Jackson in becoming only the second player to hit 100 home runs with three different teams, and ranking in 11th place among all-time walks leaders. Evans hit 60 home runs in his 40s, at the time a major league record.

And yet with all these accolades, Darrell Evans is not a Hall of Famer. Maybe it's because of his .248 career batting average or that he shares a MLB record for committing 3 errors in an inning. Or maybe it's because he claims he was visited by an UFO. Either way... if you are going to make a Daryl Evans Legends night... why not make it an actual Darrell Evans who was a Legend?

Pundays: Morissette for the Winter Classic

Written by The Royal Half on .

It was a relaxing week down here at The Royal Half (I mean, we even missed Drew Doughty grabbing Jarret Stoll's crotch!) So this week's edition of Pundays is a little bit abbreviated... but who cares really, because this Pun Headline from the writers at NHL.com is one of the greatest ever.

"You Oughta Know" came out in 1995.
In the 1995-1996 season Jaromir Jagr had 127 points in 81 games. 

Happy Winter Classic Day!

TRH Recap 39: 1st

Written by The Royal Half on .

Hey, it's January 1st. Time to take down those Christmas lights, right buddy?

If it wasn't for Los Angeles, Roberto Luongo would never get a tan.

CANUCKS 1, KINGS 4
PACIFIC DIVISION, 1st

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE ROYAL HALF!!! 

TRH Gameday 39 - Vancouver Canucks: Cock N' Stoll

Written by The Royal Half on .

Game #39

LA Kings
(18-14-6, 13th in NHL)
vs
Vancouver Canucks
(24-12-2, 3rd in NHL)

Canucks Lead Season Series 1-0

7:00pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG THAT I'VE ATTENDED A PLAYOFF GAME WITH IN PERSON:
Benched Whale

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Canucks Army
Nucks Misconduct
Pucked in the Head

So I go away for a couple days to enjoy some excellent skiing and what do I miss?

The single greatest moment of LA Kings-based homo-eroticism since this.

TOP 3 TWEETS I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN HAD I SEEN THIS INSTEAD OF SKIING

1) With the way that Darryl Sutter literally manhandles the players on the bench,
why is anyone surprised that Drew Doughty grabbed Jarret Stoll's cock after a goal?

2) I know that Darryl Sutter wanted to create a new identity for the Kings,
but Drew Doughty grabbing Jarret Stoll's cock after a goal may not be it.

3) Obviously, Terry Murray was a homophobe.

This has been an amazing year at The Royal Half. We've had over 300,000 page views the past 12 months, which I think is nearly 299,999 more page views than we've had the last 3 years. Thanks to all of the great fans that comment, tweet, send me emails with awesome photos and videos, or those that just lurk and laugh or curse. Happy New Year to you all and Go Kings Go!!!

TRH Gameday 37/38- Chicago Blackhawks & Winnipeg Jets: In the Name of the Father

Written by The Royal Half on .

Game #37

LA Kings
(17-14-5, 19th in NHL)
vs
Chicago Blackhawks
(23-9-4, 1st in NHL)

Chicago Leads Season Series 1-0

5:30pm, United Center
Chicago, IL

MOST FRENCH PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

Cristobal Huet is earning $5,625,000 this season.

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Blackhawks Down Low
Hockeenight
Second City Hockey
Cheer the Anthem

Game #38

LA Kings
(17-14-5, 18th in NHL)
vs
Winnipeg Jets (2011-2012 Edition)
(16-14-5, 22nd in NHL)

5:30pm, MTS Centre
Winnipeg, MB

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS WHO MIGHT BE GETTING A PROMOTION SOON:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Jets Nation
Winnipeg White Out
Arctic Ice Hockey

I guess I have only one question about the Los Angeles Kings kinda-annual Fathers and Sons Road Trip. Does Simon Gagne's dad stay in LA... or travel with the team to act as a surrogate father to Kyle Clifford?

Because there is no way anything human gave birth to this thing.

So the fathers of the LA Kings players are heading with them to Chicago and Winnipeg in the middle of Winter. I don't know... if I were a LA King Dad... I'd probably rather go on the Tampa Bay and Miami road trip in the middle of February. But these are Hockey Dads we are talking about, so they are probably used to the cold. 

Winnipeg really is beautiful this time of year.

KingsVision has an AMAZING feature on the 1st part of this Father-Son Road Trip. Check it out.

Rob Scuderi's Dad sounds like he is off-the-boat from Long Island.

How can we really be sure these guys are the fathers of our favorite hockey players? They look nothing alike.

Nope, don't see it.

Okay, that is exactly what Brad Richardson is gonna look like in 30 years.

Kings fans... answer in the comments... who do you think these Mystery Dads are?

I know that's Brad Richardson's dad in the middle.
That may be Super Mario's dad on the left. 

From the haircut alone, I would assume that's Trent Hunter's dad on the left.

Alright... which dad is wearing the super-cool belt cell phone holder???

The dad on the left is none other than "J2"... the man who created Jack Johnson... Jack Johnson Sr.

You might have missed it last night on the telecast... but it seemed that J2 was hitting the complimentary alcohol a little too hard...

Here J2 is congratulating Reid Mitchell on his son scoring a goal Monday night.
And here is Reid Mitchell about to punch J2 in the face.

 

Jack Mother Fuckin' Johnson didn't get his nickname from playing at Michigan...
...he got it because his father is one, crazy mother fucker.
 
JACK JOHNSON SR FUN FACT: J2 won a National Championship at Wisconsin in 1973

The KingsVision piece even showed Fathers and Sons bonding on the plane trip.

Dustin Penner and his father watched highlights of his play... from 2009.
And Penner slept through most of it.

"5 Game Winning Goals isn't good enough for you, is it Dad?!? I HATE YOU!!!" 

"I was just pointing out that my son has the same amount of goals as Drew Doughty... but in 1 less game!
What a hoot!!!"

"Dad... you're embarrassing me."

"Sorry that you won't get a chance to see me play, Dad.
Ever."

It looks like Kevin Westgarth got the brains in the family.

This is my new iPhone lock screen.

What an amazing bonding experience for Fathers and Sons to be able to have. They really must be cherishing each and every moment of it.

Or simply treating it like every other family get together...
by sitting in silence one seat away from each other. 

TRH Recap 36: 4 on the Floor

Written by The Royal Half on .

COYOTES 3, KINGS 4 (OMFG!!!)

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

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TRH Gameday 36 - Phoenix Coyotes: Reset Button

Written by The Royal Half on .

Game #36

LA Kings 
(16-14-5, 20th in NHL)
vs
Phoenix Coyotes
(18-14-3, 16th in NHL)

Season Series Tied (1-1)

7:00pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST COACH TO COACH FOR BOTH TEAMS
THAT THE KINGS
SHOULD HIRE ONCE SUTTER AND LOMBARDI GET FIRED

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Five For Howling

There are 47 games left in the 2011-2012 NHL Season. In order to get 98 points in the Western Conference (which no way guarantees a playoff spot, but is rather likely to secure one) the Los Angeles Kings need to go 28-14-5. Depressing, right? Well... maybe they don't need to go exactly 28-14-5 to get 98 points.

Wait... this team only needs to go 19-21-7 to get 98 points?
That's TOTALLY doable. 
Although 47-0-0 would make me feel more confident about making the playoffs.

Call it a do-over, a reset, a mulligan... whatever you want. But the LA Kings 2011-2012 season re-starts tonight against the Phoenix Coyotes. And this is the guy that is going to be in charge of their playoff destiny.

I love this photo so much.

I don't get it... why is everyone so excited about watching a bunch of little juniors play in an ice hockey tournament? OHHHHH, I see. Of course, Mayor's Manor provides your best coverage for any LA Kings player at the World Junior Championship in Alberta. And if you are looking to follow the tournament on your iPad or your iPhone, check out this cool app from a Friend of the Blog, Row0. You can download the app for your iPad here. Check it out and let the developers know what you think. They are cool guys, even if they are from Edmonton.

Guess Who's Back?!?

With 2 points in the last 7 games... now is as good a time as ever to bring back an extra-special Holiday Edition of PennerPoint! The rules are still simple. Just guess the exact time and period that Dustin Penner scores his 3rd goal of the season tonight against the Coyotes... and you win a free t-shirt from The Royal Half Gift Shoppe. You can put your predictions in the comments below or reply to me on Twitter with #PennerPoint. If for some reason Dustin Penner scores the 3rd goal of the game in regulation tonight (which would be the 1st time in 15 games the Kings have scored 3 in regulation)... we'll have an extra special bonus for the winner. Good luck!

Pundays: Santa Closed

Written by The Royal Half on .

It's the most wonderful time of the year! But for some people, the holidays can bring on a horrible depression that sends them into a spiral of malaise. So even though you should be happy that hockey is back after a 2 day Holiday Vacation... I'm starting to worry about the Holiday mental state of the Pun Headline Writers at NHL.com.

Most. Depressing. Pun Headline. Ever.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

14 Games of Scoreless

Written by The Royal Half on .

After extending their Franchise Record of 14 consecutive games with 2 or fewer regulation goals scored, the Los Angeles Kings have released their newest holiday song to the fans.

"Merry Christmas... and sing along with me!"

On the 14th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Justin Williams with 2 goals in 26 gaaaaames...

On the 13th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Kyle Clifford underachieeeeeving...

On the 12th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Simon Gagne with 1 goal in 17 gaaaaames...

On the 11th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Anze Kopitar with 2 goals in 21 gaaaaames...

On the 10th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

The greatest player in Los Angeles Kings histoooooory...

On the 9th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Oscar Moller so he could score some goaaaaals...

On the 8th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Drew Doughty underachieeeeeving...

On the 7th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Rob Scuderi traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 6th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Jake Muzzin traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 5th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

An end to Dean Lombardi's 5 Year Rebuilding Plaaaaan...

On the 4th game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

A reminder of the last time the Los Angeles Kings scored more than 4 goaaaaals...

On the 3rd game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Jack Johnson traded for some goal scoring heeeeelp...

On the 2nd game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

Matt Greene remembering how to play defeeeeense...

On the 1st game of Scoreless, my true love sent to me...

The greatest gift ever for my blooooog.

I hope you and your loved ones are having a great 14 Games of Scoreless.

TRH Recap 35: Christmas Massacre

Written by The Royal Half on .

SHARKS 2, KINGS 1

Presenting the most awesome Jim Fox and Bob Miller video ever.

The inability of the Los Angeles Kings to score goals makes me want to scream.

Sorry... wrote that sentence wrong.
The inability of Justin Williams to score goals makes him want to scream.

I wish there was some way to visually represent what it feels like to be a LA Kings fan right now.

Nope.

Nailed it.
Seriously... how is it possible that a face can even make an expression like this?

According to Fox Sports West HD, Darryl Sutter has coached in Chicago, San Jose, Calgary, San Jose, Calgary and LA.

He's changed so much from his time in San Jose.

I appreciate the fact that everyone thinks Darryl Sutter is a much more "hands-on" coach than Terry Murray was... but this is just wrong.

 

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH
AND WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST OF THOSE FRINGE LATE DECEMBER HOLIDAYS!


GO KINGS GO!!!