I wouldn't say that the LA Kings are feeling pretty solid about their playoff hopes after acquiring Jeff Carter for Jack Johnson... but I saw this billboard on the way into work this morning.
Sure, beating a injured Chicago Blackhawks team 4-0 is one thing. Now let's see how the LA Kings v3.0 do against a really awesome Nashville Predators team that got even awesome-er at the Trade Deadline. And against a Minnesota Wild team... well... that sucks. But they did beat the Sharks Sunday night.
While fans love the NHL Trading Deadline, for players, it's especially tough as they have their names tossed back and forth by everyexpert on Twitter in possible trade scenarios. And while it's hard on the players, it's even more difficult on the Pun Headline Writers of NHL.com who have to consistently stay on top of which player is rumored to be traded to which team. Like for instance, when Dustin Brown was rumored to be available for 15 minutes last Friday, NHL.com reacted with the lightning quick reflexes of a beat reporter who posts on Twitter.
For a while, I totally thought this headline was slang for some sexual maneuver that Jeff Carter and Mike Richards had pulled off together.
So let me see if I'm doing my math correctly here...
+
=
So Dean Lombardi is able to bring in a player with nearly 200 goals in his first 500 games for an expendable defenseman and a #1 pick in either the 2012 or 2013 draft? And this player is best friends with Mike Richards? And he didn't have to trade his backup goalie? Why that's enough to make anyone associated with the Los Angeles Kings smile!
Oh... this is awkward.
I'm fine with this trade. So Jeff Carter is a bad boy. You know what... Bobby Hull was drunk for most of his career. But he put the puck in the net, so who cares? If Jeff Carter comes to LA and can score goals then he can spend his nights clubbing with Brad Richardson for all I care. Because he can do this.
Of course, as LA Kings fans, we have to approach any acquisition for a goal scoring forward carefully. Because everyone thought Dustin Penner would come to LA and score goals non-stop, myself included. But Jeff Carter kinda has a better resume than Dustin Penner, except for that pesky Stanley Cup win when Penner was a rookie. Carter won 2 gold medals at the World Juniors and is tied as Canada's all-time leading scorer for the tournament. In 2005, Carter won a Calder Cup with the Philadelphia Flyers. And he's been a consistent goal scorer his entire career. Oh, and has anyone mentioned... HE'S MIKE RICHARDS BEST FRIEND.
Holy shit, look at that playoff run in the AHL in 2005.
But what kind of a player is Jeff Carter? We asked our Flyers East friend, Flyers Goal Scored By, for the low down on Carter.
I just felt a great disturbance in the force. As if millions of Los Angeles coeds suddenly cried out in pleasure, and were suddenly silenced. Jeff Carter is a Los Angeles King. The Kings traded away a guy that can disappear from his defensive role for a guy that can disappear from his offensive role. A move had to be made to jumpstart the Kings offense, and this will do it. A happy Jeff Carter is a productive Jeff Carter, and nobody makes him happier than Mike Richards. Carter is the caramel whipped cream to Richards BROcchiato. Carter is big, has an excellent, albeit erratic, shot and can play center or wing. He's going to fit right in the way Matt Brody fit into Baywatch. He will disappear in the playoffs, but until then, it'll be a great show in Tinseltown.
So Jeff Carter and Mike Richards are in Tinseltown, huh?
He just doesn't know how to quit Richards.
In terms of what the LA Kings gave up for Jeff Carter and his 11-year contract... I'm totally fine with it. In fact, the bigger loss is now two years in a row without a 1st overall draft pick. There has been an outpouring of stories on the internet today covering exactly how overrated Jack Johnson is as a NHL defenseman. Johnson was labeled a "can't miss" prospect growing up as the poster boy for USA Hockey. But the truth is that Jack Johnson is a slightly above average defenseman who will probably play better in Columbus as the #1 guy instead of the #2 guy in Los Angeles. And if any real LA Kings fan is so distraught over the trading of Jack Johnson... then that person was probably more of a fan of Johnson's cheekbones than his play in the defensive end.
My god they are amazing.
I mean is anyone really surprised that a superstar Los Angeles King center worked with team management to trade for one of his best friends?
Nope.
Let's just hope that this Los Angeles Kings trade deadline deal for Carter is better than the last Los Angeles Kings trade deadline deal for Carter.
15 games as a LA King. 0 goals, 1 assists, 1 points.
What's the most important thing I learned from watching the NBC Sports Network's debut of "Mike Richards NHL36" last night?
That it's someone's job to change out the dressing room nameplates depending on which jersey the LA Kings are wearing that night.
Out of all the NHL36 series so far, I found last night's edition following Mike Richards for the 36 hours before his game with the Phoenix Coyotes to be the most interesting. And it really showed me that Mike Richards is the kind of guy who wears his passion for his team on his sleeve.
Well, at least he's a fan of winning teams. Right, Drew Doughty?
The show spent the majority of time giving viewers an intimate look into the life of Mike Richards off the ice.
Look, I love Mike Richards as much as the next guy... but when do we start talking about how every time he's on TV, Richards is wearing something that basically says "Redneck Rebellion."
NHL36 also provided an intimate look into Mike Richards home life.
Like literally... that's his house. And I'd have to think it'd be pretty easy to find now. I just wish there was an easier way to know exactly where Mike Richards lives.
The female fan base in Los Angeles thanks you, NBC Sports Network.
NHL36 also gave us a preview of an upcoming new series for HBO.
Worst. Episode. Of Entourage. Ever. I'm not calling out anyone's masculinity... but I love that Drew Doughty has a white iPhone.
While Richards, Drew Doughty and Trevor Lewis were scarfing down some spicy tuna crispy rice, they had time to participate in one of the LA Kings most popular hazing practices...
Making Andrei Loktionov eat by himself.
But how much footage of Drew Doughty eating sushi with Mike Richards can you really watch? NHL36 also gave us an in-depth look into the Los Angeles Kings organization.
Would you like something to read? Do you have anything light? How about this leaflet, "LA Kings Hall of Famers?
NHL36 also took the time to talk with Kings GM, Dean Lombardi, about the impact Mike Richards has had on his team not scoring at all this season and probably putting his job in jeopardy.
Seriously, what local community service award did they have to drag out of the closet to put in the background of this interview set? Cause that sure as hell ain't any Pacific Division Champion trophy.
In addition to the hardcore hockey fan, the purpose of the NHL36 series to open up the game to newer fans, especially women. And it seems like NBC Sports Network knows how to appeal to that target audience well.
By showing video of Jon Bernier eating breakfast.
Oceans 14 and Oceans 10.
Only one man can make stripes and patterns play as well together as Jordan Nolan and Dwight King.
For me, a big mystery was solved while watching NHL36 Wednesday night.
Why, yes... Mike Richards does have awful tattoos.
You have to give it to the film crew of NHL36. While it may not be as well-produced or as intimate a look as HBO's 24/7 series is... the producers of NHL36 were able to quickly figure out Darryl Sutter's best side for the camera.
While the NHL36 featuring Mike Richards might have been a hit with the fans... losing the same night to the Colorado Avalanche doesn't have quite the same appeal. I wish there was some way to visually represent what it feels like to be a LA Kings hockey fan the last couple weeks.
Hmm.. almost there.
Nailed it.
The latest "All The Kings Men" Podcast is out. This weeks episode features Podmaster General Jesse Cohen chatting about the past week in LA Kings hockey with myself, Matt Reitz from View from My Seats as well as Matt from Life in Hockeywood. You can check it out here or subscribe to it on iTunes here. You can also listen to the most recent All The Kings Men episode below:
DARRYL SUTTER ON DUSTIN PENNER'S RETURN TO THE LINEUP: “It’s not just giving him another shot. He’s a veteran. He better step up to the plate. It’s very simple. He went out of the lineup because he was horseshit, so he’d better step up to the plate or he might not get another look. It’s simple. When we preach work and those things, and everybody does it, then he better do it.”
You think he's messing around?
If I'm Dustin Penner... I play the game of my life tonight. Otherwise I think we all know where Dustin Penner will be next season.
Sports Memorabilia conventions signing bottles of Aunt Jemima.
Yup.
Until the LA Kings score a goal, I'm only doing two things on this blog:
1) Posting screengrabs of Darryl Sutter looking like a monkey
2) Posting screengrabs of Mike Richards dressed like a hipster
The Los Angeles Kings are fighting hard for a bottom 4 playoff spot, are last in the league in scoring, have a healthy scratch debacle with Dustin Penner and are starting two rookies on the 2nd line against a hot team from Phoenix that is 2 points behind the Kings. Why yes, Los Angeles Kings management... it's the perfect time to announce a raise in the cost of season tickets!
A club spokesman said some seats will decrease by $5.50 to $12 and others will increase by as little as 50 cents to as much as $13 per game. The "blended" increase will be 9% for those who renew by the March 24 deadline and 11% for those who renew afterward or are new buyers.
The Kings may shoot twice, but there is no guarantee they score.
If you notice, there is a tiny light blue strip around the first few rows of the 300 sections that differs from the current season seating chart. Apparently, that is the area being hit the hardest by the increase in ticket prices but overall the ticket prices for the Kings are on the lower side in the NHL. Kings fan Eddie Resendez, who sits in this new light blue section, is seeing his tickets go from $22.50 each this season to $35 next. Eddie sits in Section 309, which if you look at the map above, is just about the furthest section away you can sit from where the Kings shoot twice. For those of you scoring at home that is a $537 total increase on his seats from last season.
It feels like I'm right there!
For me and my Half-Season Ticket Holder Buddy... our seats go up 3 dollars each per game if we renew our Half-Season Ticket Package by March 24th. Which to be honest... is kinda insulting. I always felt like we had really good seats but now I'm starting to feel... well... worthless. I guess I should feel a little bit better that if I don't renew before the March 24th deadline, my seats go up $9.50 for each ticket. But I feel like everyone else is getting their ticket prices increased by a franchise that has 2 playoff appearances in the last 8 seasons much more than I am. And as a Half-Season Ticket Holder I'm not even able to get all the benefits that come with this increase in pricing. That's right, if you are a Full-Season Los Angeles Kings Season Ticket Holder and you renew your seats by the early bird date of March 13th... you get a special surprise!
So let me get this straight... if I renew my seats by March 13th, a good month before this team will have a playoff spot locked up, I get a medallion that will commemorate the 45 years of futility that this franchise has suffered. SIGN ME UP, BITCHES!!!
Aww... don't be sad about the new ticket prices, Dustin. You'll still get paid. Even if you get traded to Columbus.
I'm going to renew my Half-Season Tickets no matter what. Why? Because I'm an asshole who loves going to Los Angeles Kings games and cheering for this team no matter what. I've been doing it for 20+ years so why would I stop now? But for other, less rich fans, this has got to be a huge slap in the face from a franchise who isn't just struggling to score goals... but also struggling to spell correctly. In the most recent "Teammates" article on LAKings.com, Jordan Nolan and Dwight King are asked to answer the same questions. And I'm pretty sure in a move to cut costs... they also had Jordan Nolan and Dwight King edit the article.
When this article posted early Wednesday morning, Dwight King and Jordan Nolan had just finished their streak dinner and were on their way to see Goodwill Hunting at the local move theatre.
A few minutes later, after a fan on Twitter had noticed the spelling errors, the food of choice for Nolan and King had been corrected, but the other errors remained in place. And then... a mere 8 seconds apart:
And finally, late Wednesday evening, the Teammates article received one more edit:
There is another mistake in this Teammates article... there is no way in hell Jordan Nolan's favorite player in the NHL is Todd Bertuzzi. I feel like they asked Jordan's dad that question by mistake.
Jesse from The Hockeywood Insider fame has started a new LA Kings podcast called All The Kings Men. And it looks like I'm going to be a regular guest on the new podcast every Thursday morning. The latest one is posted and you can check it out here. It's chock full of great talk about the Los Angeles Kings featuring myself, Jesse, Matt from Life in Hockeywood and Dennis Bernstein from The Fourth Period. There hasn't been this many Jews talking hockey since Mathieu Schneider's family reunion.
Dustin Penner better eat up at his Pancakes with Penner charity event Monday morning... because with the way Jordan Nolan and Dwight King played over the weekend, this could be Dustin Penner's last supper as a Los Angeles King.
