I can't believe it's taken this long... but the good boys over at KingsCast and I have finally collaborated on something. Presenting... an iPhone for Los Angeles Kings fans.

FRIDAY

Game #71

LA KINGS
33-25-12
78 pts, 11th in Western Conference
vs
ANAHEIM DUCKS
30-30-11
71 pts, 12th in Western Conference

Kings Lead Season Series 4-1

7:00pm, Honda Center
Anaheim, CA
PRIME TICKET 

BEST DUCKS BLOGGERS TO APPEAR ON THE LATEST EPISODE OF ALL THE KINGS MEN PODCAST:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Battle of California
Anaheim Calling

SATURDAY

Game #72

LA KINGS 
33-25-12
78 pts, 11th in Western Conference
(a/o Friday) 
vs
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
41-21-8
90 pts, 5th in Western Conference
(a/o Friday) 

Season Series Tied 2-1

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
FSW 

BEST TRADE DEADLINE ACQUISITION TO WEAR BOTH COLORS 
AND BE OUTSCORED BY JEFF CARTER:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
On The Forecheck
Preds On The Glass

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
NO.

I've been receiving a lot of criticism lately for being too negative when talking about the Los Angeles Kings... for not believing enough in this team even after victory... for not being supportive enough of the players as they head to the playoffs... or at least attempt to head to the playoffs. (Damn! I was being too negative again!) So instead of spewing my now-patented vengeful hate and general distrust of this franchise... I've decided to not be negative about this years edition of the Los Angeles Kings as they head into the final 12 game stretch of their season that will determine whether or not us fans will see Playoff Hockey in April. So instead of sarcasm... I'll use the tried and true method of anyone who speaks intelligently and informed about hockey... STATS!!!

THE LOS ANGELES KINGS RECORD IN THEIR 12 FINAL GAMES
THE LAST 5 SEASONS THAT THEY'VE MADE THE PLAYOFFS
(5 SEASONS OUT OF THE LAST 11, THAT IS...DAMN BEING TOO NEGATIVE AGAIN!!!)

1999-2000
39-27-12
94 pts, 5th in Western Conference

LAST 12 GAMES: 5 W - 4 L - 3 T

2000-2001
38-28-13
92 pts, 7th in Western Conference

LAST 12 GAMES: 6 W - 3 L - 3 T

2001-2002
40-27-11
95 pts, 7th in Western Conference

LAST 12 GAMES: 5 W - 5 L - 2 T

2009-2010
46-27-9
101 pts, 6th in Western Conference

LAST 12 GAMES: 5 W - 7 L

2010-2011
46-30-6
98 pts, 7th in Western Conference

LAST 12 GAMES: 6 W - 5 L - 1 OTL

So... as the LA Kings head into a 12 game stretch where they play the Ducks, Predators, Sharks, Blues, Bruins, Canucks, Flames, Oilers, Wild, Oilers, Sharks and the Sharks... in the past 5 playoff appearances, the most wins that the Kings have been able to secure in the final 12 games of a season is... 6. According to The Royal Half Playoff Tracker 3000, the Kings need a 7-2-3 record to get 95 points, which will probably assure them a playoff spot. You couldn't write a Hollywood ending better than this, right? 

Nope.

What's that, you say? The "Last 12 Games of a Playoff Season Win-Lose Record" stat is too depressing for you? Then try this one on for size!

If Jeff Carter can get 4 goals in the last 12 games of the season he'll have outscored Dustin Penner during his entire time in Los Angeles.

— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) March 14, 2012

That's right, Kings fans... if Jeff Carter can get 4 goals in the remaining 12 games of the LA Kings regular season... he would have 9 as a King while Dustin Penner (assuming he doesn't score in the final 12) would have 8 total, including playoffs, as a King. Since Jeff Carter was kicking Anson Carter's ass in CARTER VS CARTER... we've decided to up the stakes a bit around here.

Sup, bitches.

That's right... it's Jeff Carter VS Anson Carter, Cliff Ronning, Mark Parrish, Freddy Modin and Dustin Penner in the battle for who is the LA Kings best Trade Deadline Acquisition of the Last 10 Years. For those playing along at home... here are the stats:

ANSON CARTER
15 games, 0 goals, 1 assist, 1 point

CLIFF RONNING
14 games, 1 goal,  4 assists,  5 points
4 playoff games, 0 goals, 1 assists, 1 point

MARK PARRISH
19 games, 5 goals, 3 assists, 8 points

FREDDY MODIN
20 games, 3 goals, 2 assists
6 playoff games, 3 goals, 1 assist

DUSTIN PENNER
(a/o Thursday, March 15, 2011)
72 games, 7 goals, 13 assists
6 playoff games, 1 goal, 1 assist 

Ladies and Gentlemen... let the race begin!

It's a brand-new episode of All The Kings Men with Podcaster General, Jesse Cohen, Matt from Life In Hockeywood and myself talking the impact of Jeff Carter, the play of Jordan Nolan and Dwight King, Justin Williams' phone demeanor and the intangible qualities of Willie Mitchell.  Also this week, Jesse talks with LA Kings Broadcaster, Jim Fox, about how the team looks heading into the playoffs and the play of Slava Voynov. Finally we are joined by Jen from Anaheim Calling and Earl Sleek from Battle of California to discuss the playoff fate of the two Southern California teams as well as play the newest Game Show craze that is sweeping the nation... DUCK or KING!!! And we settle the decades-long debate... who has the better statue outside their arena?

Check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below.

Game #70

LA KINGS
32-25-12
76 pts, 11th in Western Conference
vs
DETROIT RED WINGS
44-22-3
91 pts, 4th in Western Conference

Detroit Leads Season Series 3-0

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
FSW

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS WHOSE CAREER MAY BE OVER:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Abel to Yzerman
Winging It In Motown
Nightmare on Helm Street

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
NO.

Oh, good. Jimmy Howard is returning to the Detroit Red Wings lineup tonight. Maybe now the Los Angeles Kings will be able to score since they couldn't win against career minor leaguer, Joey MacDonald. You remember that 4-3 loss from last Friday night don't you? I'm sure Mike Richards still does.

THE FIVE WORST NIGHTS OF MIKE RICHARDS' LIFE:

5. December 16, 2011 - Barry Bonds is sentenced to 2 years probation.

4. Whatever night this photo shoot took place on.

3. October 6, 2009 - The Ed Hardy Outlet in Downtown Los Angeles closes.

2. June 23rd, 2011. Early Afternoon. Jeff Carter is traded to Columbus.
(via One Girl, One Puck)

1. March 9th, 2012 - Mike Richards plays a game against the Detroit Red Wings

Very curious to see how this team comes out tonight against the Red Wings after last Friday's debacle.

This morning, while still celebrating a 3-2 shootout victory over the Chicago Blackhawks in which the Los Angeles Kings gave up a 3rd period lead for the 2nd consecutive game... Kings season ticket holders received a phone call from a certain sexy Right Winger.

Jeff Carter and Mike Richards were supposed to call the fans...
but they were still hungover from last night.
Once again, Justin Williams is carrying this team.

You know, I had debated renewing my Half Season Tickets. But now that I've received an automated phone call from Justin Williams... consider me on-board for the 2012-2013 season. Besides... how could I disappoint his mom!

Ugh... I wish I could get Justin Williams' mom to STOP calling me.

Game #69 (huh-uh-huh)

LA KINGS
31-25-12
74 pts, 11th in Western Conference
vs
CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS
37-25-7
81 pts, 6th in Western Conference

Kings Lead Season Series 2-1

5:00pm, United Center
Chicago, IL
NBCSN 

BEST CURRENT BLACKHAWK TO PLAY FOR THE KINGS IN 1994:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Blackhawks Down Low
Hockeenight
Second City Hockey
Cheer the Anthem

Have you taken a look at the Los Angeles Kings next 8 games? 

at Chicago
vs. Detroit
at Anaheim
vs. Nashville
vs. San Jose
vs. St. Louis
vs. Boston
at Vancouver

I'm so confused... did the Kings play all their Pacific Division games in October?

So the boys over at Second City Hockey have been producing a newsletter that they sell for $3 at Chicago Blackhawks home games since 2008. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly... it's a literal newsletter that they print out and sell at Blackhawks home games. Like the printed word. Talk about an Original 6 Franchise! Check out one of their newsletters from March 1, 2009 against the 26-26-9 LA Kings. I thought I loved my favorite hockey team by blogging about them... but Sam Fels takes it to a whole new level. So Sam asked myself, Quisp from the awfully-named Jewels From the Crown and those sisters over at Surly and Scribe to give our thoughts on the current state of the LA Kings coming into tonight's game against the Chicago Blackhawks. And it took up half a page out of TWENTY TOTAL PAGES...

For a version that you can actually read, click here.

The 20 page The Committed Indian Newsletter is one of the most amazing pieces of fan devotion that I've ever seen. People at LA Kings games can barely look up from their phones long enough to take the time to read a 20 page newsletter about the team, let alone write one. So be sure to check out all of the Committed Indian back issues and check out Second City Hockey for all your Blackhawks news. Especially if you are Kings fan that will want to see playoff hockey.

And here is a link to the full issue of tonight's Committed Indian featuring the Blackhawks versus the LA Kings. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

THURSDAY

Game #67

LA KINGS 
31-23-12
74 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS
21-38-7
49 pts, 15th in Western Conference

Kings Lead Season Series 2-1

4:00pm, Nationwide Arena
Columbus, OH
Fox Prime Ticket 

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT WERE TRADED FOR EACH OTHER:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Dark Blue Jacket
Light the Lamp
The Cannon

FRIDAY

Game #68

LA KINGS
31-23-12
74 pts, 9th in Western Conference
(a/o Thursday)
vs
DETROIT RED WINGS
43-21-3
89 pts, 4th in Western Conference
(a/o Thursday) 

Detroit Leads Season Series 2-0

Friday, 4:30pm, Joe Louis Arena
Detroit, MI
KCOP-13 

BEST NHL HALL OF FAMER THAT I SKATED WITH
AT KINGS FANTASY CAMP TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Abel to Yzerman
Winging It In Motown
Nightmare on Helm Street

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
NO.

Is there a lot of animosity towards current LA Kings forward Jeff Carter from his former team in Columbus? 

Yeah... I'd say there was a little bit of animosity.
Honestly, the Blue Jackets Twitter Feed is the best in the NHL.
Except when the Calgary Flames Twitter Feed is sending Direct Messages. 

So since the Columbus Blue Jackets are making it easy to swap out Carter for Johnson... I thought I'd check in with our Blue Jackets Blog Buddy, Dark Blue Jacket, to see what he thinks about having swapped Jeff Carter for Jack Johnson in Columbus for 6 more seasons:

Color me amused at the rock star treatment of Jack Johnson since his trade to Columbus.  I mean, he was playing on Los Angeles' second blue line pairing when he came to us and was thrashed about pretty well in the halls of hockey criticism.  As best I could tell, his biggest redeeming quality was that he could smile and say how happy he was to be in Columbus (which, considering the team's two biggest stars entering the season wanted out, is saying something around these parts).  Yet the Twitterverse was gushing over JMFJ's on-ice play...something I just wasn't seeing on television.  So I took my first opportunity to watch Johnson play in person to see what this fuss was all about.

Here's my take: The Columbus Blue Jackets and their fanbase have been so demoralized this season by sub-AHL blue line play that any injection of NHL-level competence into the lineup is a revelation.  Enter Jack Johnson.  He had a goal and an assist on the night in over 27 minutes of time on ice.  He pushed the puck up the ice.  He made passes that largely moved from tape to tape.  He moved laterally with ease.  He has a degree of size that keeps him from becoming a slalom ski pole for fast-moving forwards. Overall, he's pretty good.

Is he the second coming of Jesus?  Is he Columbus' All-Star next season?  (Remember, we really do need one considering we're hosting the darned game in 2013!) With improvement, perhaps (not sure about the Jesus part, granted), but I'd take James Wisniewski right now.

I don't know if I'll ever stop giggling each time I see Jack Johnson in a Blue Jackets uniform.

To hear more from Dark Blue Jacket, as well as hear the latest in LA Kings talk from myself, Podcaster General Jesse Cohen, Matt from Life in Hockeywood and special guest, Keith from Kingscast... check out the latest episode of All The Kings Men Podcast. You can check it out here, subscribe to it on iTunes or you can listen below. It's so engaging that it will make you forget that after playing Columbus Thursday night... the Kings play the Red Wings and Blackhawks. Ugh.

When you are a kid... you dream of one day winning the Stanley Cup and becoming a NHL Hall of Famer. When you are a middle-aged adult with disposable income... you drop the cash to play with former professional hockey players who have won the Stanley Cup and are NHL Hall of Famers. And this past weekend, yours truly did just that. When I signed up for the Los Angeles Kings Fantasy Camp in December I think the thing that attracted me most to it was the promise of a real NHL gameday-like experience in every aspect. So when I arrived last Friday for the Fantasy Camp kick-off lunch, I was expecting something way different than what my friends and I eat before our late-night beer league games.

And so began my time at the 2012 LA Kings Fantasy Camp.

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Goes to Fantasy Camp!!!

Game #66

LA KINGS
30-23-12
72 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
38-20-7
83 pts, 5th in Western Conference

Season Series Tied 1-1

5:00pm, Bridgestone Arena
Nashville, TN

BEST PHOTO FROM THE LAST TIME NASHVILLE LOST AT HOME:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
On The Forecheck
Preds On The Glass

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
NO.

CARTER VS CARTER UPDATE:

Win. There really is nothing more to say about this game. So that's why Jesse from All The Kings Men Podcast did an in-depth interview with Buddy Oakes from Preds on the Glass. Buddy isn't just a knowledgeable guy when it comes to the Nashville Predators... he's just a knowledgeable guy about hockey in general. Click here to check out Jesse's interview with Buddy as well as my thoughts on Carter vs Carter and of course, Mondays with The Mayor. Or you can subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below.

Game #65

LA KINGS
29-23-12
70 pts, 9th in Western Conference
vs
ANAHEIM DUCKS
28-27-10
66 pts, 12th in Western Conference

Kings Lead Season Series 3-1

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST PLAYER IN THE WORST JERSEY:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Battle of California
Anaheim Calling

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
NO. 

Saturday night at Staples Center is the 3rd Annual Burger King Jersey Appreciation Day. The Royal Half has been your exclusive home for coverage of the first two Burger King Appreciation Days and we've even gone in-depth into the origin story of the jersey itself, a wondrous monstrosity that is well sought after amongst jersey collectors. So for this 3rd year of Burger King Jersey coverage... we present two amazing un-earthed discoveries from the vault of the Burger King Jersey Legend. Courtesy of Spike Coffman, long-time friend of the blog and current producer of The Fourth Period Radio Show on XM Home Ice... screengrabs from the Los Angeles Kings-Mighty Ducks of Anaheim game on January 27th, 1996... aka the 1st time the now-famous alternate jerseys of these two teams were seen by fans.

Honestly, those jerseys were so bad even the Fox Robots wouldn't wear them.

Forget about the rarity of seeing these jerseys in action...
how about the rarity of seeing Valeri Karpov in a NHL game?

Original Gangster Robinson.

I mean... seriously... could you imagine anything uglier on the body of the Great One?

Close.

Closer.

Nailed it.

This game was sponsored by Zima. I think that says it all.

Hrudey's on Duty Tonight.
Mopping up the puke from fans duty that is.

This is the one NHL jersey Mike Sillinger wishes he didn't wear.
Okay... maybe this one too.

Never change, Fox Sports. Never change.

This jersey just proves my theory that Jari Kurri could score in anything.

I don't know what amazes me more about this screengrab...
Robert Lang's sexy glare... 
or that Robert Lang scored the first 19 goals of his NHL career with the LA Kings.

Why yes, that is ex-NHL coach Ron Wilson in the upper right corner.

Wow, Sean O'Donnell's dad played in this game.
WHAAAAA?!? THAT IS SEAN O'DONNELL?!?

A few years ago, friend of the blog Lisa Gansky, was digging through her high-school photography projects and found some amazing photos of the Burger King Jersey in the wild. And speaking of how incredibly old Sean O'Donnell is...

Sean O'Donnell was 24 years old during the 1995-96 NHL season.
He is currently 84 years old.

Lisa Gansky has one of the most impressive Nathan LaFayette game-worn jersey collections in the world.  

Yanic Perreault, Nathan LaFayette and Eric Lacroix.
I'll take "Some of the Worst LA Kings Ever" for 1000, please.

For all you LA Kings fans that are jumping on the Jeff Carter bandwagon...
never forget that Rob Cowie was the original #77 for the Kings. Well, right after Paul Coffey.

And while you are at it, never forget that Vitali Yachmenev (on the left) was tied for second in NHL rookie scoring
with Eric Daze during the 1995-96 season with 53 points, just 8 points behind Daniel Alfredsson.

Move over Nathan LaFayette and Robert Lang... and hellooooo Mike Sillinger #26???
Wait... did we just discover that Mike Sillinger wore both the Anaheim Ducks AND Vancouver Canucks
Alternate Jersey during the 1995-1996 season?!? 

Holy shit... I think we just did.

Be sure to check out more of Lisa Gansky's photography as well as her unparalleled collection of 1990's hockey autographs.