"Boy, there sure are a lot less All-Stars in this locker room than the one I was in on Sunday...
Like... 19 less. And yes that means you too, Doughty. Last year doesn't count."
Kings 0, Wild 1
Los Angeles Kings Road Trip to Hell.... ON!!!
As the Kings embark on their crazy 10 game, all of February road trip, The Royal Half has developed new technology that will allow you, the fan, to get closer to following the fight for a playoff spot than ever before.... presenting The Royal Half Playoff Tracker 3000!!!
For some reason, completely unknown to me, Bob Miller started off the 2nd period with an explanation of technology that has pretty much been in place for the last 3 years.
First, Bob explained what Standard Definition was.
Then, Bob explained the type of television they'll be watching at Jim Fox's Super Bowl party.
Then Bob talked about what television looks like at Ryan Smyth's house.
Then Bob muttered to himself, "who the hell would want to watch Kings-Blackhawks in HD
after the way the Kings played like crap against them all season!?!"
Sure the Kings put forth a great defensive effort tonight and surprise starter Jon Bernier did his best to convince fans that he still has to potential to be an elite goaltender... but where is the offense? The Kings could barely crack past the Wild perimeter in front of their goal and every shot seemed to be blocked or barely make its way onto net.
At least when I get a shutout, we win. Suck it, Berny.
Is it me or did Brad Richardson just play the musical lock to open the hallway into Wonka's factory?
"What the fuck are you looking at, kid."
"Yeah, you better believe you are sorry... maybe not the best time to take a penalty, huh Jack?
Now get out there an earn your 30 million, Jack-ass!"
One game into the 10 Game Road Trip from Hell and the Kings leave Minnesota with a point, while giving up 2. Let's take a look at that leaderboard!
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
So what can you do when your favorite hockey team goes on a season-defining 10 game road trip that includes 3 games in 4 days against the Penguins, Capitals and Flyers? You can't do anything... so just sit back and scoreboard watch with the rest of us.
"You realize you are signed for 7 years, right Jack?"
"Yeah, little man, I know."
"Myself, I would have gone for a 3 year and made sure Lombardi got that winger before committing to 7...
But that's just me."
Wednesday, the Kings head to Edmonton, home of the amazing Jean Shorts and Bagged Milk. Be sure to check them out for all things Oiler-y. In meantime, let's take one last look at The Royal Half Playoff Tracker 3000!!!